Junie, I keep returning to this forum to reread your post, hoping I can think of something positive to say to help you out of the gloom that's become your life since the failed surgery. No one could blame you for feeling the way you do at this time in your life. You've lost more than your health and I admire your willingness to share that pain here.

There is a safety net...and it's the people who "hang out on these forums". I always hope for a better tomorrow..that the promise of time will give a new prospective to the reality of today.

Please know that we are here for you...and it does help to talk about it.

Gentle hugs.