Thanks to all that have responded. I have tried taking some of your advise by living min. by min. or taking a nap. I feel worse then ever right now. The worst this is that this is a secret in my family. I live with my dad and step-mom but they think I am just anxious. I don't want to even leave my room. I don't want to live anymore. I think it's time to just hang out the white flag and give up. I don't know, no more hospital stays, have been through too many of them. i don't know what else to do. I don't know how to feel anymore, have to put on the happy face for family and friends. It's hard to do that, have been doing that for years, and it's getting harder and harder.