Originally Posted by Mari

Dear Bobby,

Occasionally we get someone who is the right person sent from the universe to help us at the particular moment for a particular set of issues. That does not seem to be the case with this therapist.

Most of the time, the people we see in our travels through the health care system are trying to do a good enough job for what they need to do. For sure she is not maliciously trying to cause you difficulty. That I am sure. She thinks that she is helping you.

( The fact that she needs a clue bat is another story -- http://www.frontiernet.net/~joe14580/clue%20bat.jpg ).

At times when I could not get a read on someone I made up their back story based on what info I did have about them. I would make up their whole story as if I were drafting an outline for a novel, including where they lunch, their relationship with their mother, how they managed in school, and so on. Later, if I did end up finding out more about them, often my game of imagination was close enough to right to have been useful. . . . I’m not suggesting that. I’m just sharing a strategy I have used.


I wonder if part of the difficulty you are having is that you want to be a little bit closer to her. You are able to connect to Dr. M., the friend who walks with you, the other patients at the clinic, your cleaning lady and her child, but not so much to the therapist. Are you frustrated by not being able to stick a pin on her? Or is it that you have defined her pretty accurately and decided that you don’t like her?

You already figured out her story and are not too happy about it I gather.


Here is an idea you already have:
You can flat out lie to her. Tell her that you have made efforts toward the bathing / changing clothes thing. This way you don’t have to be upset. Let her do her thing. Your goal is to see her every two weeks to be able to see Dr. M. You can do that. The higher purpose is Dr. M. and you can tolerate her until time that something changes (she starts to be more useful for your needs or she leaves or whatever. . . )

Make sure that some things that she says do not upset you and that you leave therapy in peace. It’s only therapy and it’s only every two weeks. You can handle one session with the woman every two weeks.

‘Concerned about you.


M.