BP I know how you feel. When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2000 I was angry and raged out quite a bit at my lot in life. While I never went as far as flushing my meds down the toilet, I did get angry enough to throw my pill bottles all over the place and pull a hissy fit. I also kept looking for that "miracle pill" and never found it. So when it came to my BP dx I had gone through the pitch a fit phase and just added the new meds with the old. Acceptance is so hard when a life altering illness hits that we do strange things.
Thank goodness your pdoc understood but you need to have a talk with her about the comments that made you dump your meds in the first place.
I hope you got some sleep and are feeling better today.