Dear Waves,
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Originally Posted by waves
(((((((((((((( Mari )))))))))))))))
it all sounds positively exhausting.  |
Yes. Dad is exhausting. He needs to be the center of attention. I'm still undone. . .. .can't get back on track . . . . as if I ever were on track
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Originally Posted by waves
ok, consider this: i like restaurants generally (depends on place), but i HATE excessive prep-work to get there. that half ruins it. talking about the food to the extent of verifying if everyone is happy with what they got is as far as i like to discuss the food. analysis of it i dislike -
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Yes. That's because you have class . . . may father lacks that. Class is about making other people comfortable. Father lacks that.
I'm still off my game since they got here . . . if I ever had one.
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(waiting staff, when they do their job well, are almost transparent.)
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Yes. Let's go out sometime. I'd like to have a relaxing meal with someone.
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i understand about it being depressing. but i am wondering if this could be a breakthrough in terms of getting him to share more, more often. bunches of updates at onces is hard. but keeping in touch over the phone might be better. perhaps this is one positive thing that could emerge from this visit.
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Two short convos in two days is all I am going to get until I see him and Mom next year. After I spoke to him, my sis says that something is still wrong with Mom that Dad has not revealed to her or to me.
There is no way to know if it is a big deal or a small deal like an abnormal blip on some blood work.
A few years ago my Mom had a complete hysterectomy without telling us about it until afterward.
She had every thing taken out for something very very minor than most people would be undisturbed about (surgeon was a creep as far as I can tell)
Tdoc explained to me at the time that my mother's decision to have that surgery was consistent with decisions of other women who were abused when they were young. Both father and mother were abused sexually. I suppose talk about medical issues is hard for them.
I can be patient sometimes. Other times, not so much.
I'm off my own food plan since they got here. . . . too much salt,. . .junk . . .
M