I do know what you are going through with your son. Though mine is different circumstances, it is equally hard being a mother. I don't know how to help my son eithor. He is 37 and in the worst possible depression. I don't know why this happened to him eithor. When we are parents of troubled children it effects our lives so very much. My hands are tied, as even committing him for 92 hours isn't going to do very much in the way of breaking this cycle of horrors. It sounds like you are having much trouble with emotional issues, drinking issues etc. I am so sorry you and I have to go through this, and stand by and watch our children not be happy and well adjusted. Every waking hour I have, I wonder what I can do. I imagin you do the same, and question everything you did too. I wish there were answers for the both of us, regarding how to help our adult children. I will keep you in my thoughts Carol, because I do know what it is like to have this kind of trouble. I hope your son and my son can find their way back to life and be fulfilled. ginnie