Thread: I give up.
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:57 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Originally Posted by ginnie View Post
I really wish I had some words of comfort. I have known the depression you are going though, and have locked myself away for long periods of time like you are doing. I didn't have the brain trauma, I had an emotional trauma. I also had alot of medical issues to deal with at the sametime.I did go for council. I did start taking medications too for the depression. I told all my doctors what happened to me, and I finally got a pro-bono lawyer.

What got me out of this really started when I found this site. I was on overload, and could not cope with anything. If you can keep coming back here, even for a little while each day, it will give you some strengh and encouragement to keep trying. I wish you were not alone. I was lucky to have a friend that lives with me who helped me to get out of bed. Truthfully, I may be better with my physical parts, but this emotional stuff still gets to me. Beating back depression is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
Since there is no resolution with my situation, I cannot resolve my emotional issues. I have to take part of my family to court. Until these issues are resolved in court, I am stuck in this funk, and still dealing with the physical stuff too. This site has helped me more than I can express.
None of what you are going through is easy. I don't think any of us has magic to make it go away. I only know that I get some strength from the other people here who can and do relate to the problems I have. That compassion has helped me more than anything else. I want my old life back too, and I 'm not going to get that no matter what I do. You kind of have to accept where you are at, and then try to move forward the best way you can. If you can get council, with someone who will have compassion and give you some coping skills, that may help you to make the first steps.

I hope you will come back here and keep trying to express what you are feeling. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. Even with your injury.
Things can and do get better with the right kind of help. If you try to reach out, this site and the people here won't let you down. The brokenness you feel can get better. I have come to accept, things I never thought I could before. I pray alot too. It starts to get better when you allow others to reach out back to you. I also hope you can do some kind of distraction from the depression, take a break, I read, and found I go to some place, any place than where I am at. Great Escape and it works. Even if it is just a paragraph. Your focus chances to something else. I really do care about the folks I meet here, and that includes you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. ginnie
Hello, thank you for you response, story and words of encouragement.

I just want to add that I'm not hiding out in my room because I'm depressed....I'm hiding in the room because I can't function. Depression is a problem I'm having but its not the underlining problem. I can't do anything without becoming overloaded....anything does that for me really...and when I say overloaded, I'm not talking about oh I'm overloaded, if I lay down for 15 min it will go away. I'm talking severely overloaded just by something small as a conversation where I can't function for the rest of the day....and sometimes the next. My threshhold seems to get smaller and smaller all the time. Pretty soon I'm not gonna be able to write on here anymore...seems to be headed in that direction.

I'm not over-exaggerating. It's very very bad and I can't put my finger on why I can tolerate less and less as the weeks go by. I don't even want to ask a doctor, they are no help.
__________________
What happened: I was randomly assaulted from behind in June of 2011. I was knocked unconscious for an unknown amount of time (less than 30 minutes) and have no memory of the event. CT scan showed contusion and hematoma of the left frontal lobe. I spent 3 days in the hospital. Diagnosed with Post-Concussion Syndrome in September 2011. Currently have Medicaid, Medicare and SSI.

Current symptoms: Brain fog, mild memory issues, problems with spontaneity, occasional spacing out, word finding difficulties, tinnitus in right ear and some other things that I can't explain.

Life after the brain injury: 4 years after the injury, I'm engaged to my beautiful girlfriend of 5 years, I'm the CEO of my own business, Notorious Labs, I've taught myself how to program complex games and apps which is a feat I never thought I'd accomplish and now live a semi-normal life with very mild PCS symptoms.

Slowly but surely regaining my life back.
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