I really wish I had some words of comfort. I have known the depression you are going though, and have locked myself away for long periods of time like you are doing. I didn't have the brain trauma, I had an emotional trauma. I also had alot of medical issues to deal with at the sametime.I did go for council. I did start taking medications too for the depression. I told all my doctors what happened to me, and I finally got a pro-bono lawyer.

What got me out of this really started when I found this site. I was on overload, and could not cope with anything. If you can keep coming back here, even for a little while each day, it will give you some strengh and encouragement to keep trying. I wish you were not alone. I was lucky to have a friend that lives with me who helped me to get out of bed. Truthfully, I may be better with my physical parts, but this emotional stuff still gets to me. Beating back depression is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
Since there is no resolution with my situation, I cannot resolve my emotional issues. I have to take part of my family to court. Until these issues are resolved in court, I am stuck in this funk, and still dealing with the physical stuff too. This site has helped me more than I can express.
None of what you are going through is easy. I don't think any of us has magic to make it go away. I only know that I get some strength from the other people here who can and do relate to the problems I have. That compassion has helped me more than anything else. I want my old life back too, and I 'm not going to get that no matter what I do. You kind of have to accept where you are at, and then try to move forward the best way you can. If you can get council, with someone who will have compassion and give you some coping skills, that may help you to make the first steps.

I hope you will come back here and keep trying to express what you are feeling. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. Even with your injury.
Things can and do get better with the right kind of help. If you try to reach out, this site and the people here won't let you down. The brokenness you feel can get better. I have come to accept, things I never thought I could before. I pray alot too. It starts to get better when you allow others to reach out back to you. I also hope you can do some kind of distraction from the depression, take a break, I read, and found I go to some place, any place than where I am at. Great Escape and it works. Even if it is just a paragraph. Your focus chances to something else. I really do care about the folks I meet here, and that includes you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. ginnie