Dear Waves,
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Originally Posted by waves
I did not mean to suggest you drop her for now, as many who "agree with me"  seemed to think - quite the contrary actually. It's just that with such little free time, it makes sense to look around when you have opportunity... just in case the "research" is needed.
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Yes. I understood the earlier post and you are making perfect sense tonight in your posts.
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Originally Posted by waves
I wonder if you blocked her because you were too upset about any given issue to talk about it at all..... or if you could already "hear" what she might say and didn't want to hear it. Or some other thing altogether.
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I blocked her because I choose ahead of time not to talk about hubby, my father, and work buddy. I spend time and energy dealing with those three men both outside and inside of our sessions and I am bored. They were particularly annoying to me as topics that day. I had nothing else to talk about but I sure did not feel like talking about them.
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p.s. my therapist does some annoying things.
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My other long time tdoc showed up late almost every time (it was a major issue for him that he worked on constantly with his CBT skills). I was ok with that most of the time. Occasionally he would fall asleep maybe because he had slept little, the room was warm, or whatever. When he drifted off I would get louder to wake him up.
He was brilliant and very good. He moved off CBT stuff after a year or two when I told him I needed him to expand his tool box and told him what was wrong with using CBT for every situation. He adjusted to me. We were very good togehter. I hated to let him go after 8 years but it was time.
Current tdoc gets me. She really "gets" me. In the beginning when we did not even know each other very well, I felt that she was close to being psychic. . . . so because I do not have to explain things to her, we save time. We almost have a short hand now and can skip over small things and get to important stuff.
She focuses a lot on what I can do to make thinks easier for myself. She tries to get me to see when I have done something right for myself and not let me make light of it.
We never do small talk. In the first or second session, we established that I did not want to ever talk about her, her day, . . . I do not know what she does with her other patients, but I needed (and still need) not to have to think about her as a person in my life.
This is why the session felt "strange" to me: I was surprised when she mentioned what ever she called my physical agitation. I often move around when I am with other people, but apparently not with her. Maybe she usually sees me when I am barely awake, plenty agitated, but not in motion like I was this last time when I was rested (awake) and as agitated (or more?) as usual.
I ran out of sense. It is late. I will be back tomorrow.
M