A 5 year old child with no immune system I taught at his home died and head of Board of Education told me I did not belong at funeral, he would attend, so I did not go. A decision I regretted listening to when I saw his Mom later and she asked where I had been. Micheal was a kid she knew I had a relationship with. So she and I got together later. Remembered and talked about Micheal. And cried. It's really lonely after funeral stuff is all over. Maybe later worked for us both.