Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris66
Like just about every other kid in Western postindustrial society, I was brought up placing great value on independence and self-reliance. And control is the name of the game. For everyone. Control of the bladder and bowels is the first control we get as kids, and its desirability is reinforced by parents' respose to successful potty training. It's no wonder that an adult's loss of control is felt as the ultimate humiliation that, no matter how one thinks of it (i.e. up, down, sideways, and up the rear end), is never ok. Sorry, I will never get used to losing control of my bowels.
As far as dependence goes, let me just state up front that I hate it. Hate it. Having cleared that up, it has occured to me to wonder about the people who help me: who am I to say that helping me isn't a part of their process? So it's ok for me to help them, but not ok for them to help me? I came to the definite conclusion that I needed to take myself a little (ok, a lot) less seriously.
Chris
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All of this was so well said Chris, that last part especially. I am lucky enough to havee my entire family behind me unconditionally, no guilt, no expectations of getting better, etc... It was very hard at first to ask for continuous help, but I think that is human nature, and I do not have a sense of entitlement.
But, your right, maybe them helping me is their fate. (not sure if that is the right word), and as they do this for me, perhaps it is helping each of them grow in different ways. And as long as I do not sit here with an ungrateful attitude, and make sure I always let them know how grateful I AM, even though my family does not like it for me to keep apologizing or thanking them - it is amost insulting (but not really). I have always believed that there is a reason for everything. We are all growing from this in some way or another
