dear Father
Brother
Mother

thank you for another day

dear God
i don't get it
these last 3 day
felt like one big
mess
in the end
i am given temporary custody
of the baby
i had a reason to call
management then
with three of them and a machete
lifted the rug out on the veranda
i took the mop out to clean up the mess
left behind walking through the entire
apartment
i began going slowly back and forth
somehow my fall began with me
going a split broke that as my left knee
could not handle it afraid to fall on my right
side somehow twisted my body trying to
manipulate the fall
well not to successful
fell on my left buttocks
hitting my buttocks bone
then my left arm went under
free to slam the floor
a full body fall
and i hurt so badly
hoping my med will help
my shoulder left hip and left
knee won't even talk about my
lower back and my neck has
a different feel as i move it
i feel the internal cracking
my pain specialist
is on vacation this month
if it does not get better i'll
ask him to order a x-ray
of the shoulder and my
knee
my back i already know
it is L-5 that is out of commission
to the point it is one other surgery
Peterson the surgeon that dropped
me as his patient when my hiccup
in the road being addressed was
the removal of both my breasts
to cancer
cancer was found by me
it was a lump 3:00 right
breast
have had my breast mammo's
every year since i was 40 years old

my God,
my Father,
it may have been my stupidity
but a job need to be done and
i did it and then to take this terrible
fall makes no sense
why have added pain
if i am the one to be here for
them
have taken my meds
still feel pain in shoulder
my left side the only side
that was comfort zone
almost in fetal position
now that is painful as
i do not have the strength
to lift my hips and push
my buttocks backward
sticking outward i needed help
pulling it outward
so i trust you will keep
all moving along
as i try to keep focused
and do all that needs
to be done
i trust you Father
all in your plan
to my dear friends
i have become close to
and the family in general
hear our prayers
i pray for a miracle
and a belly laugh in a day
if it's not much to ask

someone who loves and cares