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Alcoholism, Addiction and Recovery For all addiction topics, including alcoholism, substance abuse, and other addictions. |
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10-18-2012, 12:33 AM | #17 | |||
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Quote:
Addiction is a complicated disease, that I honesty believe begins at conception..From my first memories, there was something that I felt was wrong with me, that I was different than other people..I lived in my own little world, and felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and has no idea why?..It was like there was something missing in my heart and soul, and emptiness..Then at age 13, I was with some friends who were passing a quart of vodka around and a had a few swigs, and I loved he way it burned when it went down, and then it made me high, and medicated that emptiness and made me feel whole for the first time in my life..That was the carrot on the stick that led me to oblivion I drank for about 23 years, and at about year 19, alcohol drove me back into that lonely emptiness once again..I couldnt live with it or without it..Then I entered a confusing quagmire, when the more I drank, the larger the emptiness and the anxiety got..The very feelings that I had escaped from came back with a vengance..I made attempts to sober up, and during those times, the thing that dominated my thoughts, every moment of my abstinance, was going out and getting drunk..It haunted me relentlessly, untill I coulnt stand it anymore, so I drank, and the mad circle stated all over again..It was like being lost in a maze with no way out Then at year 22 I found heroin, and it "fixed" me for another year, and it made me feel whole again, from what had betrayed my wholeness after 19 years..I felt like I was on the road again..This is the insanity of addiction, and this is where your friend is at right now..On the road to nowhere On the morning of Oct 30, 1989 I woke up very sick and hung over, and had this profound feeling it was over, and it was..I believe with all my heart that God did for me tha morning what I couldnt do for myself..I got active in AA and havent had a drink since..Through the application of the 12 steps I found myself, and inner peace Ozzy Ozbourne has been clean and sober for about 6 years now Here is a link to a song he wrote about his personal confusion with addiction, called "the road to nowhere"..(leads to me) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=849e8WraKCk
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There are those who see things as they are and ask..Why?..I dream of things that never were and ask..Why not?..RFK |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Icehouse (10-18-2012) |
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