That is a great picture - I have printed it out and pinned on my noticeboard to remind me that some days are good and others less so with my clinical depression.

DB is so remote, it's like someone has flicked a switch off in him. The award presentation is this week, they fly to Sydney early Thursday morning, the celebration is in the evening & then they are staying on a few extra days to see the new drug dogs (arriving here in January). So I know he is under a lot of pressure. I don't see my being home as extra pressure on him, but perhaps I'm wrong? Or maybe I'm just being too sensitive because I'm feeling under pressure. I just don't know anymore.

I hope he can enjoy the celebration but keep a cool head. I can certainly understand your worry, but if I understood correctly you wouldn't be able to go with DB anyway? Take some extra me-time, try to recover a bit more.

Will be thinking of you both.

(and lots of puppy pics, please! )

Pamela, it seems to me that you and DB have a great and mutually supportive relationship.

I reckon that DB will be fine in Sydney .

And, as Wide-O said, please remember to look after you - not a selfish thing to do.

Our marriage has imploded, he started drinking again last week, but since being home from Sydney 2 days none at all. Things have been said and done in this last week. I will try to get help for myself & perhaps he will join in with marriage counselling. But drinking ironically I could deal with, drunken infidelity not so much. I’m saddened beyond belief, for all the support I’ve given, it seems instead I’ve emasculated him.

The affair? The young girl I took in, I’ve spoken to the mother today, everything she has told us has been a lie all designed to garner DB attention, he has been taken for a fool and played like a fiddle superbly. Is he feeling sad here at home, you bet ya. Oh I should add, she went out and bought the viagra, the condoms, the booze, And all the rest

I’m trying hard to contain my anger, but I have let rip at him and her, particularly her when I threw her out & she tried to blame it all on him, don’t get me wrong, he is equally as guilty. Will we survive this - I don’t know. I always thought I’d leave on account of the drink not some 21yrvold drug addict.

I will see a counsellor to help process my grief, perhaps I’ll see things clearer, at the minute I want it all to go away & pick up where we left off. But that’s sticking my head in the sand, one thing I’ve never done is shy away from conflict or confrontation.

I may be weak and crippled with chronic pain, I may be in need of being in hospital (I discharged myself as I had suspicions) but I had the energy and strength to slap her when she confronted me and said I should be the one to leave.

I think perhaps after counselling I will see things clearer and leaving is truly the only option, no more having to worry about getting up at 4 to do his dogs, no more worrying about getting him to work. I told him you’ve made me this by asking me to do these things and then by not doing them yourself the animals suffered, same as bill payments I’ve paid all the bills because you couldn’t, wouldn’t, 2 yrs ago your Psych told you to take it over and you didn’t, I had to because we were getting late penalty notices. I can see I’m talking myself into seeing life without DB hanging off me could actually be a release. We’ll see, we’ll see.

Sorry to all those who thought we would make it, I guess we’ve become yet another statistic.

Post edit
We are booked in for couples counselling this Thursday evening. He seems keen to go??

I have no words of wisdom to offer you. I wish that I did.

What I do know is that you are a strong, brave and honest woman who has had to deal with more things in your life than most people have had to.

I hope that seeing a counsellor will help you to make the choice that is right for you.

I think about you a lot and for sure will keep on doing that.

Hey PJ, I can only repeat what kiwi said.

I have no wise words, I admire your strength and honesty, and I keep hoping for the best outcome possible.

Many hugs added.