Your time indeed, and your terms.

I'm reminded once again that, as humans, all we really have is honesty and integrity. When we start telling lies, or ignore the truth, we lose everything, including ourselves. And it often starts with a few small ones, to end up with a web that is just impossible to clean up.

And just to be clear, I am not referencing PJ here.

Let this thread be a statue for all us people with addictions out there. You can get help for your addiction, you can recover. But you can not recover from untruths.

Dear friend
So beautifully said
So simple yet so so deep in meaning
And let’s do salute
It is a cruel world
I so cannot imagine chasing lies
And how embarrassing for those when I call them on it
For some they are mindful
For other
Well let’s just say this
I have many acquaintances
And I can count on one hand those I trust
You are on the money
Sobering to many to live a life as such
It isn’t difficult
And I cannot for the life of me understand why one would want to chase falsehood
Wide-O
Sobriety is a good thing
I wish the rest of the world have what we have
Amen
Keep on trucking
Me

The final move will be Thursday. He will be gone from my life. Our beloved Bronson DD to the vets this Friday. Rainbow bridge crossing likely. And I will bear this in my own, ToBi DD will be gone with him all I will have left is my beloved Bono DD, also 12 same as Bronson, pining already as he notices the changes in our dynamics. The departure of DB ToBi and Bronson will be a huge blow to his little mind. He loves his mates. He will be lost with out them, as will I.

As ever, my thoughts are always with you.

I’ve grappled where to post this topic, it’s painful to me, but not like the chronic pain I suffer from. It’s depressing and while I acknowledge I have depression it’s about a journey from depression to living a full life again, and nor is it a topic for alcohol, addiction and recovery. Well it is, but it’s no longer my need to document his journey backwards.

So, I’ve opted for the forum General mental health & emotional support, I hope and pray NT’rs can continue to help me and offer support as I embark on this journey to finding me. I’ve used other forums on here and have always taken comfort in knowing I could turn to NT and it’s emotional support I need right now. I need to be able to write my journey and have advice and support from the community I turn to in need. I am need of emotional support. https://www.neurotalk.org/forum85/

I have no idea how to move forward in terms of making arrangements to be sure I am financially secure. And as I keep telling my family who tell me how easy it all is. I am still supposed to be in hospital, I am unfit and cannot bend or twist. I am emotionally ill, I’m suffering with severe depression and anxiety so my mental health is also unstable. I’m trying to work from home so I can at least have some semblance of income come in, I’m struggling to work and concentrate, I’m struggling with just living. Some days I eat, others barely anything at all. I have cared for this man for 25 years, I have put his needs before mine always, I was the good wife. Now I’m just a fool, discarded when I am at my weakest.

So I’m inviting you to join me on the other forum and share your experiences and advice as I move forward. I understand if it’s too hard a topic for some of you to join me on and if you are unable to do so, please know, the advice and love you have shared with me over these last 2 years will always be treasured.

As predicted DB has succumbed, his will be a rapid fall from grace. He who is still basking in the glow of his award in November. I feel sad, but relieved he is not here.

As for his psych telling him she doesn’t think he has a problem with alcohol & his problem instead me, I have no pleasure in saying she was wrong.

He contacts me every day. This time, it is something he has to do on his own.

DB is suicidal. Everything indicative of 2011 repeat. I have asked him to phone me instead of messaging. I will suggest he go to rehab before he starts the new dog training. New dog arrives today. I will offer to take DD1 & care for him. I can do no more. The messages I get of late are sad, they mention he knows he has to sort himself out & he needs to be sober in order to move on from his current life. BO is a brilliant enabler. Her answer to his crisis is place another cider in his hands. I know she knows drinking will kill him. He is already vomiting & his stomach burning every day. I will put everything aside (not mention her or drinking) & try to get him to talk about his depression. His family are unaware we have separated & are in the UK. He has no one here.

I vividly remember being sceptical when my sister went through the exact same thing with her ex husband months after he left her. I remember saying why do you care, & her answer was as is mine. I’m all he has in this country & I have to be caring to save his life. I’m not doing what she did, her answer was to smother him & put her life on hold. Mine will be rehab. End of.