Wow, all these stories. I never would have believed that parents allow drugs in the house if I didn't know a couple personally who did just that.

This was over 30 years ago. The parents smoked pot every single night. They inherited a house, they are now in foreclosure because all their money goes to drugs.

They are in their late 50's now. I always thought drug use was among the young. I have found this not to be the case.

But what I found very disturbing was that when they go to visit their son who is 37 years old and lives in a mansion with a pool, that they ALL SMOKE POT TOGETHER.

I have never heard of such a thing in all my life. The guy's wife is trying to get pregnant so she's the only one who doesn't smoke pot.

I think it gets to the brain and they rationalize that "well, we're still alive, we still get a buzz, so what's wrong with it?"

It's amazing how the mind rationalizes these things.

I think parents should stop trying to be their kid's best friend and start acting like parents.

That means "no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol" in the house.

Yeah, from my lips to god's ears!!!!


Thanks to you all for informing me about what's going on in today's drug culture.

I really learned a lot.

Melody

Well I hate to say it but you're welcome lol. I wish more people knew. Parents who have small children and are naive to what their children will meet when they get older.

Now you have a bit of insight into what makes your friend and her son tick, drugs and alcohol alter the neural pathways that your brain uses so just quitting the addiction is a bit harder than what the average non user thinks.

Okay well enough. Geez, I remembered and know more than I really wanted to lol.

I hope you have a great day and that your friend and her son find their way.

HI Christina

Thanks so much.

I have a close friend who drinks, but her son is full blown alcoholic. I've posted a story on these threads. I wanted to help them. I found out I cannot do this. They have to help themselves.

The 30 year old with the drinking problem was just released form the hospital with his 4 bout of Pancreatitis (this is where I go nuts and can't understand why a grown man who has Pancreatitis, and a bad liver, would come out and start drinking beer again). But after reading about the cravings, well I understand this mind set a bit better.

The other day, my friend (the mother of the alcoholic), called up AA and spoke to some people there and she arranged for 2 men to come to the house last night to do (not an intervention), but to explain to the 30 year old what AA is all about. (he has made it perfectly clear that he wants NO PART OF AA or any rehab).

But I gather she had to try one final time.

So she calls up the guys and the guy says "we are coming over at 6:30 p.m."

She asked me "should I tell my son?' I said 'cmon, get real, if you tell him, he'll leave the house"

Well she told him yesterday morning. She just said 'I know you don't want to hear this but I am having 2 guys from AA come and they want to speak to you about the program".

Well, he lost it, yelled at her, screamed and said; "I want no part of this" and left the house. He never came back last night, so she had to call up the guys and tell them "Thanks but no thank".

It's amazing what a parent will do to save their child. I find it absolutely amazing.

I understand about Mother Love and all that, but there has to come a time when one realizes "I cannot save this person, he has to want to be helped".

I do not think she has gotten to this point yet.

Oh well, it's a hard road.

Thanks to you all for sharing all the info on drug use. I really do understand the cravings much better now.

Yes I have read and posted about your friend and her son. She needs help herself. She sabotaged the meeting.

She enables him.

My mother is 62 and an alcoholic. My middle brother is 39 and an alcoholic. He lives between her house and his lady friend's house. My mother is recently retired from the postal service. She went out on a disability retirement. She was a functioning alcoholic. She went into work at 3pm came home at 12:30am with her bottle of wine and got hammered, went to bed and then did it all over again. Never went to work drunk.

Now she is more disabled but has reached a point where she will not go to the doctor, she has kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, two bulging disks and a few other things. She still takes her scrips because she is living off of refills from her last hospital trip. Last fall she was drunk and fell in the bathroom and fractured two of her vertebraes. She came home and laid on the couch refusing to do any of the physical therapy, wouldn't wear the brace, just getting worse. Continued to drink only now she is drinking earlier and earlier in the day. Soon she is drinking as soon as she gets up. In the meantime my brother is bringing her food, helping her wash, when she does, doing housework, working in yard, buying her booze (she is buying his too because he doesn't work). She calls me crying on a Saturday saying she has hit bottom, she wants to check into a facility, psych ward, suicidal, on Monday. I beg let's do it now. No let's do it Monday. Tuesday comes no call. She has moved to the bedroom and no longer gets out of bed. Finally she calls me and leaves me a message saying that I need to call her lawyer and have her deemed incompetent because she obviously isn't going to check in to facility.

I start making calls and finally figure this is stupid and go to house and get her out of bed and take her to ER still half drunk. They evaluate her, keep her for couple of days, deem her in no danger, get her health stable and send her home. Tell her to check into inpatient treatment. I give her list of facilities that will accept her insurance, that sound like nice places, she is picky. Today it is almost 5pm and I am sure she has probably started drinking. By eight she will be smashed. My brother has already probably been there, gotten smashed, slept, staggered back to his lady friend's house.

My mother and I are very close but I have had to distance myself in the last two months because I have come to realize that she wants the help but is unwilling to do the work. I have done my part. I gave her the list of places all she needs to do is pick a primary care doctor and make an appt and then pick a place for treatment. I will be right by her side all the way. I don't think I can bare to watch any more. Who will take care of her when she can no longer walk?

My brother will have to be booted which I think may be a deterrent to her getting help because she cannot remain sober while he drinks, it does not work that way.

She has tried to make us promise that when she passes we will take care of him but none of us is willing. He is an adult.

Okay my story is done. There is more but this thread I am feared has been hijacked and I feel bad. Plus I have gone off on a side trip.

Oh Christina:

Wow, am I getting an education or what? Good Lord. What you have been through.

My mom also drank. I thought it was normal to come home at 3 pm after school and see one's mom sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of scotch in her hand. It was always scotch. I really thought all moms did this.

Much later on in life, did my father tell me that people came up to him and said "Buddy, you better get a handle on your wife, she has a drinking problem". I was over 40 at the time. Seems alcohol is at an all time high.

It really does seem that way.

Oh, what do you mean that my friend sabotaged the meeting? I think she should have never told her son but she said "what if he goes out, I have to make sure he's home".

I found that reasoning logical, but I really think they could have found a time when he WAS at home, then called up the guys.

And why would she sabotage the meeting? She's the one who called up the guys in the first place.

I'm confused.

Melody

Her urge to help her son is strong, she is a mother. I don't know maybe she didn't but she knows in the back of her mind that in all reality she needs to quit drinking too. In his mind what right does she have to have them come and lecture him about his abuse when she is just as bad. What is she going to do if her son starts telling them her "dirty little secret". She may have guilt or began to feel like a hypocrite.

Maybe not, maybe it was just as simple as her being afraid he would not be home, but in her position would you really have expected the son to stay there, honestly, if you were him would you have? She may very well have had time to think about it and decided that her addiction was at risk so she may have sabotaged the meeting. Maybe in her mind it wasn't in those exact terms.

People are funny and can do things that they aren't even aware of especially when it comes to addictions.