Curious:

You said: "you don't have to get drunk to be an alcoholic".

I never knew this.

Mel

it is true melody.

i have uncles who were alcoholics. drank pretty much everyday. i can say i only saw 1 drunk 1 x. he went to go get dried out not long after that.

some get so used to the alcohol, it's like they have a tolorence to it. takes so much for them to act any different. my x's grandfather was that way. drank everyday.

it's that they can't and won't give it up. they will say..oh i can..but i don't want to. i'm not an alcoholic..i never stumble around..yada yada.

i am a non drinker by choice. very very rarely will hubby and i have a glass of wine at home. never ever away from home. i have poured out more bottles than we have drank.

i'm very passionate about parents drinking infront of their kids. ticks me off more than i can say.

especially at picnics or family gatherings. they are going to get into a car and drive those kids home.

my x's family is big on doing that. one reason he is an X.

I do not have alot of time tonight but wanted to pop in.
I have been sober almost 8 years now and I was a daily drinker....26-40oz of tequila per day. That sorta separated me from a social drinker right there!!
There are many factors in life that can open the doors to alcoholism. Those same factors could drive a non a non alcoholic to drink excessively....even habitually...however the alcoholics need for drink if so intense willpower rarely wins out.
I AM SOOOO tired right now and need to crash. Will post more tomorrow.
I am really enjoying the action on this foum....so different....so nice!!!!!!!!!!!

Dorrie:

My friend just phoned me. It was at 10:30 a.m. this morning. She said "my husband is crying, our son gave us a hard time last night at 4 am.".

She explained that her husband was crying in his sleep. She woke him up to make him hot milk, when she noticed all the lights were on in the son's room, and he wasn't there. All the lights were on downstairs. She thought someone broke in. She went to the front door and she saw her son outside at 4 a.m. talking to a woman driving a very expensive car.

The husband came downstairs and she said "there's our son, outside, it's 4 .am. and he's talking to a woman in that car".

The guy came in the house, took one look at his parents and blurted out "I can't stand you two. I hate you, you are really not my father (don't forget he's adopted), and he looked at his mother and said 'but I do have a bit more respect for you". "I just want you to know I'm going out with this woman". Then the parents went back to bed, the guy went back outside, and right now he's sleeping".

Now you all might think I'm nuts, but this is what I told my friend.

"There is no reaosn on the face of this earth that anyone has to go out at 4 a.m. unless they are doing or conducting business that is NOT ABOUT DRINKING". And she said "oh you are talking about drugs". And I said 'DUH!!!"

She didn't say a word, she just cried. She said 'His stomach is all swollen, he's going to wind up in the hospital again, I know it, and I'm not buying him any more food, and (well the husband doesn't have the best communicative skills, and lately he's been saying to his son" 'you're no good, you're a bad seed, you are not my son any more". He's frustrated, I get this.

So I really think there's bit more going on than the beer. I could be wrong. But I don't think so. This guy's a trainwreck waiting to happen.

Oh my friend said "And I don't care, I'll do whatever I have to do not to let him come home, because he's killing us". I then said 'that's exactly what you have said the last 4 times he's been in the hospital." "you don't follow through".

She said "you know you're right, but this is killing my husband".

I said "let me tell you one thing. I know you love your son, but if this winds up killing your husband, you'll never look at your son the same way again".

She said "yeah, and he was a great father". I said 'of course he was, I know this".

But the frustrating part is when the father says stuff like "you're a bad seed, you are not my son".

good lord, these people better get some communicating skills.

No good is going to come out of this.

thanks for the good input. Much appreciated.

Melody