Hi Pretty in Pink!!!
Hi there!! It is sooo good that you have came here for support!! I never have a problem with pot...I was booze booze booze and had some real issues with lorezapam and tylenol with codiene and tylenol 3. I think that you should definitely see your doctor...get some blood work done. The gym is an excellant idea. My son went to re hab a year and a half ago for years of marijuana smoking....he felt that he could deal with it alone and never got the help of other addicts when he got out. He did not stay clean. I am a firm believer of 12 step programs. I do believe that we can help you here but living eating and breathing my 12 step program was the only way I could get and stay clean and sober. I have been that way for 8 years now!
After living a certain way for so long it is difficult to change but doing things for yourself for your health and wellbeing is wonderful. Walking is good as well. Setting small goals is a great thing to try....it fills your time and helps you to get busy. You said you are staring school...that is good as well...focus on your work and homework and make a point to check it and dot your I's and cross your T's!!! Put your all into it. We addicts are funny....when we are in our addiction we can at times appear lazy and blah.....however most of us are capable of so very much.
Pretty...your life is about to change in ways that you never thought possible...ever.. for yourself! Educate yourself as much as possible about it....reach out and ASK for help when you need it...see that doctor...buckle your seatbelt...it may be bumpy at times but when you get thru the rough spots...your life will be an incredible ride!!!
I will not be online from Mon to Thurs this week but I will check in on Thursday night to see how you are doing!! Remember...one day at a time...take care of yourself...I will be thinking of you ...Dorrie

Hi, Dorrie and thank you for the reply!!!

Like i said before i am not the N/A- A/A way. I have nothing against it. My dad has been in A.A for 22 years sober and my step mother 26years. I went as a child when my dad had no baby sitter, and i went as a young adult, it's not for me.

As for me doing it by myself, that works for me, i was heavey into alcohol starting at a very young age, and 4 years i quit for 5 months and did ALOOOOOOOOOOOOT of soul searchin on what i need. I do believe what AA teachees it's 95% the problem and 5% the alcohol. So i took care of the 95% which bought confidence , self-essteem, and a virbrance to me you would not believe. Still have it , i just deal with anxety now which is hard to deal with sometime. I drink now but 3-5 beers is my limit, not because i put it on myself but because , sorry it's just not cute to have hang overs and have brain fog for 2 days. lol I am not foolin myself becaause i have been this way for 3 in a half years. I do belive alot of What AA teaches but theres a lot i don't agree with. One of the reasons because of some of the wording i hear. EX: You can't makeit by yourself, you need a sponcer to stay sober, u can't, u can't , u can't . My therory is you can do what ever you want to do. At least that works for me. I am very self aware of myself, in curtain atrubutes, and i know when i'm trying to fool myself . I come on here for support, i try not to stay fixated on my pot problem and more on keepin busy keepin busy keepin busy for a while until it is out of my system just likei did the alcohol. But difference is i will not be using pot anymore . Alcohol when used resonsible does not effect the brain, but weed does .

I hope i did not offend you in anyway, i can be a blunt sometimes.

Take Care

Hi Pretty!! No you did not offend me. I understand that the 12 step programs are not for everyone...but it really did help me. I still go but not as often...I have learned how to live sober and really enjoy it!! That is wonderful about you dad and your step moms sobriety!!!
Post away on here Pretty!! I love it when I log on and there has been some action on here....it really does help me!! There are more of us on here too and I am sure you will hear from them thru the week!! Take Care PIP...see you Thursday!!!!Dorrie

Once you make it through the first 21 days...it will get easier. Daily meditations. Writing. Maybe trying to figure out why you tried it the first time. Thinking back to that very first time. Can you remember what you were feeling emotionally? What was going on that led to that first moment?

It's a hard emotional habit to break free from. Plus, it helps to distance yourself from your connection

Keep coming in here