Gladwyn a rock despite disability
Published on: 4/20/08.

GLADWYN ROCK'S condition makes it impossible for her to write with her hands so she taught herself to write with her feet.



by MELISSA ROLLOCK




MOST OF US take the simple things in life for granted.

Take combing our hair, for example. We do it every day without much thought.

Or even getting dressed, picking up a fork or pen – acts that require little effort.

For Gladwyn Rock, these are impossible tasks. She can't do any of them without the help of someone.

Her hands hang limply at her side, wasted to almost skin and bones because of a condition called motor neurone disease (MND).

It is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that attacks the upper and lower motor neurones – the cells that control voluntary muscle activity such as speaking, walking, breathing and swallowing.

Degeneration of the motor neurones leads to weakness and wasting of muscles, causing increasing loss of mobility in the limbs.

Gladwyn developed it in the prime of her life at the age of 24, back in September, 1982. At an age when most people are looking to assert their independence, she became more and more dependent on others.

It was especially hard for her to deal with at the time because she loved using her hands to make various crafts – one of her hobbies.

"I was home doing smocking at the time and I realised I couldn't go as fast as before. My hands would perspire a lot and if I had to comb my hair or anything like that, I would have to stop, rest and go again.

"It started with my hands feeling weak. The muscles would twitch; if you looked at my hands, you would see the muscles jumping. Then the muscles started to waste away.

"Gradually, the left [hand] went first and then the right one. The doctors said the messages from my brain were not passing through to the nerves and muscles in my hands and that's why I couldn't move them," explained Gladwyn, who lives with relatives in Glendairy Road, Bridge Road, St Michael.

There is no cure; so it is a condition she has to live with her entire life.

But don't think for a moment that Gladwyn's story is one of defeat.

Whereas she lost all function in her hands, rendering her incapable of using them to write, she made up for it by learning to write with her feet.

"I wouldn't write because I couldn't hold a pen or pencil in my hands. A few years after my diagnosis, I practised writing with my toes. I realised I had to live with [the MND]; so I said I am an adult and I don't want to depend on people too much. If there was something to sign, I wanted to do it myself; I wanted that independence.

"People were encouraging me to try writing with my mouth but I said I would try writing with my toes instead. I kept trying and trying until, eventually, I could form the letters. I am not too quick but I can sign a cheque, I can write my own signature," she proudly told the SUNDAY SUN, as she demonstrated by placing a piece of paper on the floor, placing a pen between her toes and slowly scribbling the line "My name is Gladywn Rock" with an impressive penmanship.

She writes with her right foot, which isn't surprising since she was right-handed before the onset of the disease. At one point Gladwyn even continued making crafts by doing her version of finger-painting – toe-painting. It was a means of regaining her independence, at least financially, since she sold the T-shirts.

However, it soon became physically taxing sitting and holding over for hours while designing the shirts with her toes. Fearing that she might cause further damage to her body, she gave it up.

She still manages to do some things on her own like feeding herself. However, she needs to wear a splint on her left hand, the stronger of the two, to do so. And, she does hand exercises every day to keep what little muscle mass she has left. If there is no movement, the muscles will atrophy even further.

While Gladwyn isn't afraid to go out in public today, it wasn't always that way. Shortly after her diagnosis, she became a recluse. For about a year, she didn't venture outside the four walls of her house except to visit the hospital for treatment.

Then all of that changed when some members from the Barbados National Organisation of the Disabled (BARNOD) paid her a visit.

"They invited me to their organisation. I wasn't really ready for it. I said okay to them, but when they left, I told my mother I wasn't going anywhere; but she insisted and I went to the organisation.

"I still wasn't comfortable at first. I told myself I was only sick, and that eventually, I would be good and nothing was wrong with me. I didn't go back for a couple of weeks. Then I told myself I couldn't live like this any more – shut up in the house – so I went back to BARNOD.

"Going there and seeing the others with other types of disabilities, seeing them running the organisation on their own, that encouraged me; so I kept going. More importantly, they were acting and behaving normal; they were married, professionals and very happy."

"That was really encouraging for me. I told myself if they could do it, I could do it too. I started going out and getting involved in the organisation. I can say they have been a great help to me because I was kind of shy but I've gained a lot of strength, courage and determination from being with them," she said.

Venturing out in public is now something she looks forward.

"I find people on a whole stare because they're curious as to what happened to me. The brave ones might ask, 'What's wrong with your hands?' I would explain to them that it is a nerve problem.

"I find the Barbadian public is very helpful because I get out on my own and I catch the bus and if there is anything I need them to do they will do it, young or old. I don't bother about the stares any more," said Gladwyn.

Her faith has helped a lot in her coping with the disease. She's a member of the Carrington Wesleyan Holiness Church and sings in the choir there.

Not once in almost 26 years has she questioned God about why she was stricken with the condition. Not even when it took away her dream of working with children, getting married and even having kids of her own.

Along with her faith, her family has given her the strength to live life to the fullest in spite of her disability.

melissawickham@nationnews.com

http://www.nationnews.com:80/story/291498702245608.php