Living a question with no pat answers


Published: Saturday, October 25, 2008 at 1:00 a.m.

Last week's column ended with two questions. From a journalistic perspective, it was a faux pas and I apologize to readers for it.

Why was it a faux pas?

Because from the time they are indoctrinated into the Brotherhood of the Liberal Media by the Scourge of Liberal College Professors, journalists are taught that readers come to newspapers for answers.

While they may have been rhetorical in nature to some, for me they weren't. They are questions I have wrestled with daily since learning I have amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

There is no known cause, no effective treatment and no cure.

Roughly 80 percent of those with this disease die within five years of diagnosis. I was diagnosed in the fall of 1995.

The questions with which I wrestle each day have to do with parenthood.

Given that I have a disease for which there is no cure, would my family be better off without me?

There is no stock answer. Nor are there any study guides, online or otherwise. Trust me, I've looked.

Aside from taking up theology I'm at a loss.

According to Roman Catholic Church doctrine, living on a vent constitutes extraordinary measures to keep one alive, and the church will not view your death as a suicide so the church won't send your soul to the fires of eternal damnation.

Not for that, anyway. You're on your own for the other stuff.

That's all well and good, but that's not the question.

The question for me is whether my presence helps or hinders the people I care the most about.

Without examining the family dynamic, such a discussion is futile.

How do I show affection or exert authority when all I can do is watch? And how do I offer guidance when I can't speak?

I understand why these answers prove to be so elusive. At least I think I do.

Throughout history, great thinkers and philosophers have wrestled with these and similar questions.

To expect answers would be like cheating or having a book of instructions for life.

Please don't write and tell me that such a book exists and all I have to do is read the Bible. Someone else might read the Quran or the Talmud.

And that's the problem.

By its nature, organized religion is exclusive. Otherwise, we'd all get into heaven or paradise.

But humans are individualistic. As a rule they resist organizations' rules and regulations.

So it'd be nice to have some answers. But, I really don't expect any. After all, I'm only human.


Rich Brooks can be reached at rich.brooks@heraldtribune.com.



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