[mistiis]

First, let me say, Nikki, I really like what you posted in the thread that Tammi started. Because, that is reality. I remember very well caring for my father at home, with no outside help. He didn't want it either. And he needed constant care. I watched my mother slowly ebb away from the strain of it. She was his primary caregiver and I had to step in. I wanted to step in. I became responsible for many heart-wrenching decisions and giving care as well. I moved in with them and left my own immediate family during times of crises. And I was not in good shape myself. I had had major surgery that was complicated. I was in a lot of pain from that and back issues. And I had very little pain medicine. But, I can tell you that I could not have done it without at least that much. There is only so much you can do without physical consequences. But I feel like you three are much the same way that my mother and I were. You will do it anyway. Because your love is great. And you will find the strength. My marriage fell apart just months before my father passed away, and I moved my children and myself in with my parents. My mother and I, and one sister provided all the care for my father. It was soooooo hard, but, as I look back on it, what I cherish the most are those few quality moments that I shared with my father that I couldn't have gotten any other way. My siblings don't have that. And I cherish it. I don't care how hard it was at the time, and it was. I did get through it and you will too. And the love that you have and share at this time, despite the hardship will be something that will carry you as you continue to walk through it, and beyond it. Will that make it easy now? No, it won't. But, I hope to give you hope that down the road a ways it will all be worth it.

And, yes, those baths are what got me through too. I had many of them. And that was my time away. And the pain medicine when it gets so bad that you can't function, it is necessary. And when you need the Xanax, or whatever med like it that is perscribed, please take it, it is necessary as well. That is what it is for, emotional rest from that huge strain that is on you. And it doesn't mean that you are weak, in fact, quite the opposite. It gives you that emotional rest, which is soooo necessary.

Pono, I know it is hard to watch your father go through all the confusion. It is from the medicine, and the illness itself. I watched my father have major seizures and it was soooo hard. When the cancer spread to his brain, it made it even more difficult. But, somehow, God will give you the strength, and what you need. Please don't deny yourself any little bit of help that you have. Every little bit counts, and will give you what you need to help your loved one in their sacred journey. And you will have a treasure the world can never take from you....LOVE...I love you, my friends, and you are never far from my heart, or my prayers. I do understand

[Alffe]

I always pick up this book when I think about you wonderful caretakers.

I wish you could see the illustratons and read the words.

My copy was a gift from Barbo....one of her daughter Pam's treasures that she passed on to me.
Barbo belongs in this group also as she cared for Pam until her death.

You are all amazing.

[barbo]

Originally Posted by mistiis

First, let me say, Nikki, I really like what you posted in the thread that Tammi started. Because, that is reality. I remember very well caring for my father at home, with no outside help. He didn't want it either. And he needed constant care. I watched my mother slowly ebb away from the strain of it. She was his primary caregiver and I had to step in. I wanted to step in. I became responsible for many heart-wrenching decisions and giving care as well. I moved in with them and left my own immediate family during times of crises. And I was not in good shape myself. I had had major surgery that was complicated. I was in a lot of pain from that and back issues. And I had very little pain medicine. But, I can tell you that I could not have done it without at least that much. There is only so much you can do without physical consequences. But I feel like you three are much the same way that my mother and I were. You will do it anyway. Because your love is great. And you will find the strength. My marriage fell apart just months before my father passed away, and I moved my children and myself in with my parents. My mother and I, and one sister provided all the care for my father. It was soooooo hard, but, as I look back on it, what I cherish the most are those few quality moments that I shared with my father that I couldn't have gotten any other way. My siblings don't have that. And I cherish it. I don't care how hard it was at the time, and it was. I did get through it and you will too. And the love that you have and share at this time, despite the hardship will be something that will carry you as you continue to walk through it, and beyond it. Will that make it easy now? No, it won't. But, I hope to give you hope that down the road a ways it will all be worth it.

And, yes, those baths are what got me through too. I had many of them. And that was my time away. And the pain medicine when it gets so bad that you can't function, it is necessary. And when you need the Xanax, or whatever med like it that is perscribed, please take it, it is necessary as well. That is what it is for, emotional rest from that huge strain that is on you. And it doesn't mean that you are weak, in fact, quite the opposite. It gives you that emotional rest, which is soooo necessary.

Pono, I know it is hard to watch your father go through all the confusion. It is from the medicine, and the illness itself. I watched my father have major seizures and it was soooo hard. When the cancer spread to his brain, it made it even more difficult. But, somehow, God will give you the strength, and what you need. Please don't deny yourself any little bit of help that you have. Every little bit counts, and will give you what you need to help your loved one in their sacred journey. And you will have a treasure the world can never take from you....LOVE...I love you, my friends, and you are never far from my heart, or my prayers. I do understand

You have such a way with words Mistiis. You must be a comfort to Nikki.

[barbo]

Originally Posted by mistiis

First, let me say, Nikki, I really like what you posted in the thread that Tammi started. Because, that is reality. I remember very well caring for my father at home, with no outside help. He didn't want it either. And he needed constant care. I watched my mother slowly ebb away from the strain of it. She was his primary caregiver and I had to step in. I wanted to step in. I became responsible for many heart-wrenching decisions and giving care as well. I moved in with them and left my own immediate family during times of crises. And I was not in good shape myself. I had had major surgery that was complicated. I was in a lot of pain from that and back issues. And I had very little pain medicine. But, I can tell you that I could not have done it without at least that much. There is only so much you can do without physical consequences. But I feel like you three are much the same way that my mother and I were. You will do it anyway. Because your love is great. And you will find the strength. My marriage fell apart just months before my father passed away, and I moved my children and myself in with my parents. My mother and I, and one sister provided all the care for my father. It was soooooo hard, but, as I look back on it, what I cherish the most are those few quality moments that I shared with my father that I couldn't have gotten any other way. My siblings don't have that. And I cherish it. I don't care how hard it was at the time, and it was. I did get through it and you will too. And the love that you have and share at this time, despite the hardship will be something that will carry you as you continue to walk through it, and beyond it. Will that make it easy now? No, it won't. But, I hope to give you hope that down the road a ways it will all be worth it.

And, yes, those baths are what got me through too. I had many of them. And that was my time away. And the pain medicine when it gets so bad that you can't function, it is necessary. And when you need the Xanax, or whatever med like it that is perscribed, please take it, it is necessary as well. That is what it is for, emotional rest from that huge strain that is on you. And it doesn't mean that you are weak, in fact, quite the opposite. It gives you that emotional rest, which is soooo necessary.

Pono, I know it is hard to watch your father go through all the confusion. It is from the medicine, and the illness itself. I watched my father have major seizures and it was soooo hard. When the cancer spread to his brain, it made it even more difficult. But, somehow, God will give you the strength, and what you need. Please don't deny yourself any little bit of help that you have. Every little bit counts, and will give you what you need to help your loved one in their sacred journey. And you will have a treasure the world can never take from you....LOVE...I love you, my friends, and you are never far from my heart, or my prayers. I do understand

You are comforting EVERYBODY!

[Nik-key]

Barbo ((Mistiis)) is a comfort isn't she! Thank you for your kind words and for thinking about us. ((Pono)) ((Tammy)) ((Sandy))

[Nik-key]

Oh! and I have my lil copy of that book right here next to me ((Alffe))

[who moi]

(((tammi)))

(((pono)))

(((nik)))

adding (((curious))) to this list...

heckit, everyone

[tamiloo]

Mistiis, thank you so much for your love and understanding. Your words are so comforting. My Olhipie listened when I read this thread to him and he said that I need to listen to your advice and take my meds for what they were prescribed for.

Tonight…I guess it is morning…oops up late again. We had a busy day. I took my sweetheart skiing at a resort called Powder Mountain. Wow what a place. We decided to drive our own vehicle instead of riding in the Common Ground short bus…mostly for comfort…my back and Olhipie’s buttum…I have been working on some pressure sores that are healing quite well. He only lost the first layer of skin and I got on it quickly and it is looking a lot better. I always treat his coccyx everyday as if there were a sore…enough bum talk….

Let’s see…oh, yes I was talking about our day trip…whenever we have a day trip where I have to do at least three or more hours of driving I have the hardest time getting to sleep. I hate it because sometimes in order to get to sleep I have to just wait until I get tired. I will take my pain stuff and my night time drugs and then add a couple of Xanax on top of that…then I will finally feel like I can lie down and sleep.

I’m getting there….I think I will try to slide in next to my Olhipie who is purring right now. I have to get up at 5:30 to make sure everyone get out of the house on time for work…then I sneak back to bed…nothing to do tomorrow so I’m going to sleep as long as I can.

Oh, that book is also sitting here on my desk...Alffe...I read it now and again and it reminds me of who I am and why you gave it to me.

I love all you my online buddies…you’re the bestest!

Oh, and by the way its good to see my lil bro posting again. Hope you are on the mend...don't you dare get sick again or I'll have to give you a wet willey! Love ya...your big sis!!!!

[Alffe]

purring? I loved reading that! Tammi, you are a gem.

[pono]

again your words thoughts sharing deeply touched


reading this (and some other posts)
sunday nite when i took 'break' -to rest after getting hit w/ my stuff --drop attacks, intense head & other pain-- in midst of 'vigil' for my father

'recharged' revitalized renewed ,reaffirmed,
comforted and evoked "healing" & other energy i needed ...
carried this-- love, aloha
back to room where Dad was , and passed it on, as he passed on

mahalo thank you so much

for reaching out to each, all of us;
addressing me, issues personally and sharing your insights & experiences

you've been in my thoughts, prayers...
i wanted to reply sooner to this and more you've shared but have been busy (dad's burial yesterday ; related business, matters and processing)

trying to catch up here, and elsewhere
much and more coming up...
will try to write share more soon...


thank you
and all who've extended support ,caring concern, condolances, more...

Blessings to all

special thoughts & prayers--Nikki, Tammi, other caregivers and those receiving or needing care...
and each & everyone in this special Family here