Dear Bobby,
Sounds like you need to rest...listen to your body...rest....
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi Morgy,
I am thinking about you and hope you can get through your days.
Does the better organized apt help a little? I am interested in this because I hope it helps me.

Mari

Once I got through the shell shock of my apartment being a lot cleaner and more organized and went through a deep depression, it definitely helps...it got rid of a lot of stress. I still have to get rid of things in one closet and put things that are still in the living area into that closet..I am waiting to see if the woman who was doing the organizing and cleaning and who seems to have deep problems herself is coming back. If she doesn't, I have to hire somebody else. It has become so evident that at this point, I am unable to find the energy or to go against my defiance if that is what it is and do it myself.
My doctor asked me to describe my depression and I couldn't find the words.
Today I finally thought of how to describe it. It was being unattached with pain. Way different from being detached but with appreciation. It was unattached with no connection, no appreciation, just pain...I guess if not for the pain maybe it would like being trapped in a dead body. I don't know how others describe the awful pain of bipolar...it definitely wasn't connected with sadness.
Bobby

Just wanted to let you know that I hope you are feeling better real soon.
that sounded so sad......
((((hugs))))
bizi

((((((Bobby)))))),



I'll be glad when they find cures for these D*** things.

I've spent a lifetime with the depression. I wish nobody -- I wish **YOU** never had to feel like this.

If it helps a tiny bit, picture all of us surrounding you with hugs and waves of love. All of us who've been in your position in some way or another wish we could just wave a magic wand and take all the bad parts away and leave the JOY.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

thanks so much....now that I finally am able to put in words what I feel when I am in the depths of depression, I wonder if that will help.When I am there, I cannot even connect with my beloved kitty cats. I have been moving out of the depressive side now but I am scared that I am still vulnerable to slipping back. I am still hibernating in my apartment and need to go to the bank. Don't know if I will be able to get myself to go today.
Bobby

How about going out for an ice cream cone instead -- and stop at the bank on the way back.

Maybe if you change the destination...

Hugs.

Barb

great idea barb!

that is a great idea...but right now my anxiety has really kicked in and I am shakey when I am walking. I just went downstairs to get some coffee. I also took another klonopin. I have to remember that. At least I was able to get the mail...my mailbox was full and the doorman rang up..and I paid some bills...clinic bills I didn't know I owed from 2005.
I am treating myself with sort of kid gloves because I am so scared of slipping back into that depression and I don't like that my anxiety level is so high. It is strange but coffee calms me down.
I am also waiting to hear from an agency for my rent freeze. I hope I didn't mess up the form. It is such a beautiful day in NYC...I wish I could take advantage of it.
Bobby

Dear Morgy,
I guess by putting the depression into words, you can kind of get a grip on it, look at it easier, and examine it. And have some more control over it.

I hope that the anxiety abates soon.
Mari