It is a he and if i really get him I will take a lot of pictures if i can figure out the camera. My friend said I probably won't hear from her again til wednesday. I FINALLY CRIED AFTER SEVEN YEARS. I wrote her a note a few minutes ago and i was actually crying.
bobby

Dear Bobby,
This new doggie is helping you unlock some stuff perhaps -- before he even gets here.
I hope you can keep your friend.
If not, you make new friends -- I noticed that about you -- you connect with people. It is a gift. You have that ability to both reach people and have them reach you.

M.

thanks so much. this friend is over forty years old and i really love her. she doesn't get bipolar and she doesn't get psychic pain and how it puts you in a position where you have nothing to live for because the pain is too intense.
i tried to explain to her but she still doesn't get it
i guess i should pray
bobby
ps i just bought some stuff for the doggy online. i don't know if i should have waited until i got him.

yaaay! :)
this sounds to me like something specific is going on... not related to you? like she has some things she needs to take care of or something. i really hope she comes around. did she say outright that she wouldn't provide financial support any more, or are you just thinking that? i think she probably loves you right back, Bobby. even if she doesn't understand what you go through.

i am glad you wrote her. that is excellent about the crying. i agree with Mari - it sounds like getting this dog is causing you to unlock stuff that was pent up.

i really hope things will work out alright, Bobby. sending you good vibes and some (((HUGS)))

love

~ waves ~

oh bobby, we are here for you.
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi:hug:

i didn't know but there is a law in new york saying that they have to provide permanent housing for all residents. the volunteer who calls me every week told me last night. that was really comforting and like a golden safety net.
I think my friend will give me less money but won't completely cut me off. I think she is busy so that is why I have to wait until tomorrow. Since she still is taking me out for my birthday I guess she can compartmentalize. I am getting the dog who i might name Luc on the fifth of June. This morning I got so scared I felt like calling up the people and saying keep the money and find another home for him. I was the only one who walked morgy and hammy for all those years. One of the reasons I am getting the doggie is to force myself to leave the apartment and walk.
I am still depressed. Oh the friendly visitor or i should say Margery said her great aunt found love at eighty with a ninety three year old.t she hadn't loved anybody before that since she had been nineteen. The sad note was that she died before she was 82. a melanoma got her which turned to bone cancer.
I am probably just bipolar depressed and looking for reasons to tag on to it.
I am definitely scared....but somehow that powerful feeling is interfering with the depression...what a choice...
bobby

when does your dog arrive, and what are you going to name him?
bizi:hug:

supposedly my dog will arrive on june fifth and right now i am leaning towards calling him Luc for Lucas. My depression has lifted a lot. I am relieved I told my friend I got him and should find out today how much she is going to cut back how much she is going to give me. I think i am prepared for the worse but i can't tell til it happens.
yesterday i went to my clinic to see about getting a new psychiatrist. I have to go back on the second and have an hour interview. It seems that all the slots for the social workers are taken and the psychiatrists like the patients to be seen by social workers also. They also have a lot of ex drug users. The social worker who happens to have a cat named Abby (likeme) and a cat named Luc as in Lucas -gee what a coincidence-said if they decide they can't take me she would help me find somebody close to me. I did call a few more places and am waiting for two call backs.
so many changes
my anger is lifting too. i have had it for so long...about four months
bobby

wow this is quite a good post from you!!!!!
I am happy that your anger is lifting.
I like lucus!
glad that they will help you find someone if they can 't take you.

bizi

Read what you said Bobby,
I am sorry about your newphew and I hope you both feel better soon. Glad to hear you forgave
Your father and starting to forgive your mother, sounds like you are getting farther than I have with my folks. I hope you and your kitties have a good time. Reading books is really nice I might want to do that too.

Sharla