[waves]

times like this i am grateful not to be a parent.

kid upstairs is screaming ... shrilly shrieking ... fighting with his parents (or someone) again. it is like a dagger in the brain to me. sometimes he seems to be crying but then stops abruptly - then will arbitrarily start hollering again. he says stuff but it is unintelligible. he also runs (STOMPS) around on my head (ceiling). i don't know what the deal is. he is not even a baby/toddler any more. must be about 5 or so now. and this is an almost daily occurrence. maybe something is wrong with him. OR maybe he is just spoiled rotten. but we are in no position to find out or do anything about it it would be taken at very best as an attempt on our part to complain about the noise.

ah the pleasures of living in a condo.

i feel really pi**y today.

oh the kid has stopped for now. i guess they got him to do whatever he didn't want to do (usually NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is part of the screaming, occasionally an adult voice starts to yell as well, suggesting confrontation.) and then after a stampede and more shrieking there is total quiet. i have wondered if it has had to do with going to school because it used to happen weekday mornings and then a door would shut and that would be it. weekends lots of stomping but no shrieking. or rather, arbitrary shrieking spells occur but not systematically in the morning.

ahh he is still stomping around. drives me nuts. why can't they live on the ground floor. when i was a kid and came to visit my aunt i was NOT ALLOWED to run around indoors. reason: it was rude to the people living on the floor below.

i actually saw the kid coming back from the park with a nanny one evening. he was acting up in the elevator. didn't want to leave the park. i earned a really vicious look from him when i told him not to beat on his nanny (he was punching the woman!) he would get to go to the park again the next day if he was good. (heheh, note the "if ___ good" clause )

sigh. i guess i better get ready. have pdoc appointment. feel a void in my mind as to what to talk about. feel at a loss in my life. have been fishing out lots of old music on youtube and overwhelmed with nostalgia. i just sang a little and ... more nostalgia and sadness, hopelessness.

~ waves ~

[bizi]

dear waves, I hope your pdoc appointment goes well.
as far as the kid goes, why can't you complain? Maybe they are unaware of how much he is making a disturbance?
bizi

[Pamster]

They will probably just say that if it's during the daytime there's nothing they can do. It's just awful that their chaotic home dynamics leak down through the floor and bother you waves. I'm sorry that's happening, I am SO GLAD To NOT be in that type of set up anymore. I remember having upstairs neighbors, NOT FUN...Hang in there, kids do grow up with time...I know it seems like forever but it DOES happen so either they end up moving or the kid gets better on his own, I hope for your sake sooner rather then later!

Big hugs!

[waves]

technically we could complain especially when it happens during quiet hours - two ways to do that: directly with the neighbor, or to the administrator. but either way is still not very nice and not likely to do more than inimicate our neighbors.

it would be different if someone were consistently playing loud music or i dunno, doing construction work on a daily basis... or any other "plannable" adult activity.

kids don't have on-off buttons.
kids can be the mild, quiet sort, or hyperactive noisemongers.

parents can really only do so much to control them. i don't know if this kid is spoiled, or simply not well parented, or have an innate hyperactive disposition (eg ADHD or other). it doesn't matter. if the parents can't parent, it won't help to complain. and if the kid is ADHD, there isn't much they can do. they don't shout at him most of the time but occasionally that does happen and it seems like at that point they are at their wits end and i would just bet they are pulling their hair out. not like neighbors complaining is going to help them. and if the kid has a problem, there is no way to "help" them... we are not in a position to even suggest such a thing, it would be taken as an OFFENSE.

so basically Pam has it.

as for growing... i do NOT look forward to it. this has gone on for several years with the difference being that now he is NOT teething and the stomping has gotten MUCH louder with his weight, which is only going to increase more.

what can you do. i needed to whine about it to someone this morning. it gets me exasperated at times. and feeling powerless doesn't help.

thanks you two for hearing me.

~ waves ~

[Jomar]

How large is the complex?
maybe an anonymous note on the main door or mail boxes?

something like
"please remember to be considerate of all your neighbors regarding excessively loud sounds in your apartments."

seems like management could post a general reminder like that without any repercussions to anyone.

That's one reason our friend wanted to get a town home this time, seems like side to side sounds don't carry through the walls as much as the above you sounds.

[Dmom3005]

Waves

I technically agree with you. There isn't much you can do. Except be
the nice neighbor you are. And keep not saying anything.

Because honestly you are doing something then. You are having compassion
if you ask me for the parents and nanny if there is one.

I can totally relate to this kind of story.

Donna

[waves]

indeed, that would not have any repercussions.

thing is, there IS a sign like that already posted. AND it includes when quiet hours are, too.

complex... how big... well there are several sort of tacked on to one another. but the problem kid is directly above us.

i think it would take a more specific intervention... which is undesirable for us as it would be for them... and to what avail, really?

i think the parents could at most reduce the amount of stomping - MAYBE. and if so most likely with the side effect of increasing the kid's hollering which i don't think they can control at all unless they drug him or gag him ... SERIOUSLY, by the sounds of him. he RAVES and RAGES.

my parents and i have talked about it from time to time and we all agree we don't want to complain about the family, who seems to have enough on their hands. even if i were on my own, i would not go complain to them or about them unless the noise got to be insane at insane hours - but then i'm up at insane hours so probably not even then. if we were close with them we could, MAYBE, find out more about their kid - if it seems like he could use "help" then suggest it... but parents are "funny" about that here... heck my cousin's kids - the youngest again - is a terror - LOUD and VIOLENT... to the point even my aunt (who LOOOOVES kids) can't handle him and i know my cousin would NOT be receptive to me talking to her about like ADHD or whatever - culture very unreceptive. plus i think in his he was spoiled rotten ... you know the NO phase? well, HE WON THAT hands down (or fists up, a lot of the time). most of the battles, and the war too.

i complained to and about a neighbor where i lived before once, but that was because their dog howled for a week. he howled all day long with short breaks around midday and evening. turned out the poor thing had been left alone - someone would come to feed him and leave. the sound came from my windows across the courtyard and it took me almost that entire time to figure out he lived RIGHT above me. those people turned out rude and noisy and would jump rope (ADULTS) on my head, and scrape furniture around at midnight and stuff. they got yelled at by a condo assistant admin once, who lived FIVE FLOORS BELOW them, because SHE could hear them from her place!!! HA HA HA.....

but the deal with the dog was not funny. those people had just moved in there and then left their dog in a "new" environment while they went on their week-long holiday. what's worse is the dog had epilepsy - controlled no doubt, but you DON'T leave ANY dog alone that long much LESS one with E - the stress could have led to breakthrough seizures. it was gut-wrenching... irritating sometimes, but gut-wrenching all the time because you could hear the pain in his cries. that type of thing calls for an intervention if one can.

i talked to them after and they said it wouldn't happen again which i already knew because - i didn't tell them this but - my mind was like "i hear that dog yowling like that again, into his second day i'm calling the COPS who'll get a warrant for animal protection to get the dog out of there!" that is what my landlord told me to do if it happened again. unfortunately my landlord was also away at the time. most everyone was on vacation.

anyway, this morning the kid was bugging the ____ out of me. i appreciate the support though.

thanks Jo!

~ waves ~

[waves]

Dear Donna,

thanks. i appreciate your perspective.
i hadn't thought of this as doing something for them. i guess in a way it is. well that is positive at least.



~ waves ~

Originally Posted by Dmom3005

Waves

I technically agree with you. There isn't much you can do. Except be
the nice neighbor you are. And keep not saying anything.

Because honestly you are doing something then. You are having compassion
if you ask me for the parents and nanny if there is one.

I can totally relate to this kind of story.

Donna

[Brokenfriend]

It can drive you nuts when there are uncontrollable sounds coming from another tenants apartment. Parties, subwoofers thumping through the walls,people yelling,and screaming.....It's awful! When a person needs peace,like we who have nervous problems,the sounds are worse.

I have a decibel meter that I bought at Radio Shack years ago that has helped me measure the loudness of various sounds over the years. You can measure the peeks of the noise.

Because my cat likes to meow when I'm sleeping sometimes,I reach over,and get my sound barrier ear muffs,which greatly attenuates the noise that I hear. Then I take them off when things have quieted down.

There can be as much as two parties going on a friday night,and I was working in a supermarket trying to get some sleep because I had to be at work Saturday morning. This would tire my nerves,and agitate me. They wouldn't stop. The apartment complex management didn't renew the lease of the people across the hall who where making the most noise.

Waves. I hope the noise quiets down. There must be something that can be done. Believe me. I know what you are talking about,and the toll that it takes on your nerves. BF

[waves]

Dear Steve,

sorry to hear about those experiences with the party animals in your complex ... thank goodness their lease didn't get renewed.

who knows what will happen with this kid... maybe he will outgrow the boisterousness at some point. his brother is quiet we never hear him. we only heard him when he was a baby - but babies grow quick... and as a toddler had a push toy that made popcorn noises when he pushed it across the floor i think. this one aslo has a tricycle thing that he uses inside sometimes. i have seen it once when they were coming up from the park. but really that should only be done outside.

still it comes down to just not wanting to be obnoxious neighbors even if they are a bit clueless when it comes to these things. because really it would be taken rather badly, which we want to avoid.

i don't have muffs - i don't think i could sleep with muffs - but i use earplugs when i am really on edge.

thanks for hearing me. i appreciate that you can identify with these noise issues. for a lot of people it is not a big deal and they don't understand.

~ waves ~