i haven't slept all night and feeling desperate. also the agency wants me to get a bed because my futon is directly on the floor and not comfortable.
at first they said they would pay for it and now they said i have to pay for it. i knew i wouldn't get a minute's sleep. this is no kind of existence.
I started to worry about Margie. What if we run out of things to say?
I am a wreck. Thanks for asking
Bobby

Dear Bobby,
I wish that you could sleep.

I would not want any one messing with my bed situation either.

If the phone calls stop working for you the two of you can stop. I'm guessing that Margie is good on the phone -- that's why she chose this as kind of work as a volunteer.

M.

I didn't even think of that. she is very good on the phone. i am so sleep deprived i guess i am worried about everything. Before I was getting a lot of comfort from God but now I am so anxious I am having trouble concentrating and just seem to be worrying about everything. I am upset and worried and ambivalent about the bed. I just heard on the news that con ed is going to raise electrical prices over the next few years....eeks...also I think my tv is ready to break. at times when i turn it on funny things happen and i have to switch channels to get a clear picture. then i try to figure out how much longer i am going to live to try to figure out if i have enough money. why did that other woman saya they would pay for the bed? I feel set up.
bobby
i can't help but seem to complain...i am so sleep deprived i am just a bundle of nerves AND I KEEP ON GAINING WEIGHT FROM ANXIETY WHICH IS KILLING ME

(((((((HUGS)))))))
have you ever tried zyprexa just for occasional use to put you to sleep?
bizi

I HAVE DIABETES ii AND have a severe weight problem.....i wouldn't touch zyprexa with a 100 foot pole
bobby
i am on risperdal anyways for an antipsychotic

I know that...... I just thought something to knock you out so you could sleep ...ON OCCASION>..sorry
bizi

I do appreciate your trying. Boy am i terrified of zyprexa. I did get a few hours of sleep last night. I talked with my social worker yesterday and she said as long as I had assets I had to pay for the bed. I told her I would start looking after i saw the pulmonary doctor and learned what was what. she was very reassuring and said if i ran out of money her agency would look for grants for me so I would never be evicted etc.
Then my old boyfriend called. I have known him for over forty years. we had a great conversation. he sends me jokes all the time. a lot are sexual lol. we joked how his daughter doesn't trust him when he sends her jokes and he has a friend who is very religious and whom he has to be careful of. It is so nice having a history with somebody. Then I am so fed up with another
friend...i am thinking of calling it quits. she is so f@#king self absorbed and she is always trying to get away with something. after a while you lose your sympathy. before a few months ago i was calling her every day because i thought she was in such bad straits and i was so worried. now she gets abusive. screw her. who needs it. when i tell her possible good news that might affect her, she gets negative....yesterday i snapped and suddenly just felt like telling her bad news after she said something nasty to me.
bobby

oh that sounds awful bobby.
bizi

Dear Bobby,

'Thinking of you.

M.

Hang in there. BF