[BlueMajo]

I'm mad like hell. I have never liked my co-workers but I try just to ignore them, do my things while I'm at the lab and that's it, but every day it only gets harder...
Yesterday for example, I mean, I don't even know if it's true because I don't know anymore who should I trust, but a girl told another one wants my project and that she will talk to our boss so she can tell her what part of my project she can do...
I MEAN ! That project is mine, I have spend time and effort on getting the cells with friends in other labs, I have been working on sundays if necessary to rescue my cells from death etc... I mean, perhaps you remember that at the beginning my boss didn't even liked the idea of working with nervous system things because we didn't have experience or even cells, and I had to convinve her and I have been learning alone basically how to treat a neuron because nobody there knows anything about them there !!! And now, everybody wants my cells and my project... I find it unfair... I don't know if I'm sounding selfish or what, but... I mean
I know science is like this and we have to work together but... Still... It's always the same thing with this girl and, everybody in the lab was actually laughing at me because she always have my project at the end (that happened with my previous project). Not to mention she works horribly... She is dirt and doesn't really care...

Blah, this is what I needed... My fibro is killing me... My back and wrists hurt like hell now... I'm mad and sad...

When Am I going to have peace ??

[waves]

Dear MaJo

i am sorry you have to put up with this nonsense from your coworkers. it sounds as though you're smart and have original ideas.

science and especially research is a cut-throat arena in which to work. all you can do is keep on doing what you do best, keep trying, keep doing it well. you won't work in this lab forever. you will have other opportunities. you will find people who do appreciate you and who are fair with you. but you will also continue to run into people that are unfair because they are out there. you need to carry on in spite of them. you owe it to yourself.

some people just make trouble for others by lying and stuff. i have run into this at work, but i never did figure out a good strategy to deal with it. try to protect your work the best you can is all i can say. i never liked the 'give them a taste of their own medicine' approach - some people can do that. only you can decide if you can. i could not, because then i would not be able to live with myself for acting that way, you know?

on one occasion someone was making a lot of trouble at work - she was incompetent in many ways but she got other people to help her - different people so they wouldn't realize what was going on. i realized because i was supervising her, and people complained to me, but i was not her direct manager so i had no power to do anything about it. she badmouthed me, a colleague of mine (who had my same position but supervised different projects than i did), several coworkers... etc.

well you know what, i don't know if anybody "listened" to me when i complained, but ultimately? her position got cut. so she was out. and that was that. and i have to think that her making problems with everyone and perhaps especially me, since she was mostly assigned to my projects, had something to do with it. she shot herself in the foot. which reminds me of something...

i'll tell you what someone told me at the time, maybe it will help you: if she insists, give her enough rope to hang herself with. this means that if she wants to be involved in your project, and your boss lets her - work with her, but give her minimal information and do not help her in any way that is not specifically a responsibility of yours. you said she works horribly, and if this work is as delicate as it sounds, her incompetence will show.

so just be true to yourself. another thing is to try to cultivate the ability detach from work politics. you need a mental break from it. it is hard to do, but it is essential to sanity in these situations.



i hope your boss has more insight this time and that this woman doesn't get a slice of your project.

~ waves ~

[BlueMajo]

(((((waves)))))

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my "traumas" and, more importantly, thank you very, very much for your lovely post...

It helped me a lot , it is very wise and after reading it, I feel stronger

I love you so much.

[DejaVu]

((((((((((( Blue Majo )))))))))))))))))
Surrounding you in the spirit of peace, resilience, confidence, joy


~ DejaVu

[waves]

i am glad that you feel a bit better!

hang in there dear one!

~ waves ~

[bizi]

hang in there blue....keep doing the good work that you are doing!
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Mari]

Originally Posted by waves

Dear MaJo
i'll tell you what someone told me at the time, maybe it will help you: if she insists, give her enough rope to hang herself with. this means that if she wants to be involved in your project, and your boss lets her - work with her, but give her minimal information and do not help her in any way that is not specifically a responsibility of yours. you said she works horribly, and if this work is as delicate as it sounds, her incompetence will show.
~

Dear Majo,

Waves is right. Protect your work.

Do you have a mentor? Do you have someone else with more experience that will answer questions for you?

M.

[DejaVu]

Hey Blue!
Sending support to you throughout the day!
I hope all will work out okay!
Picture yourself in your ideal work situation.
Call on your angels for help anytime, 'cause we are out here for you!
~DejaVu

[BlueMajo]

(((Donna))), (((Mari))), (((Deja)))

I feel terribly blessed for having you... I mean, everytime I feel everything is lost, I come here and you always have right advices for me, plus you always make me feel better... aw... Dont know how could I thank you and God for sending me people like you.

You my angels !!

I dont have a mentor... my mentor is actually my boss which I love, but, dont know, she is too generous and sometimes I think she needs to be more...hum...strict with some of the girls at the lab....

I will follow your advices... I will protect my work like a elephant mom and will wait until things "fall down because of itīs own weight"...
She is pathetic

Thank you girls. Love ya as you cant imagine.

[DejaVu]

Hey Blue!
I hope you are having some fun this weekend?


~DejaVu