Greetings,
I'm thinking of bringing hubby to therapy with me.

The therapist and I are currently off because my work schedule, but we are due to meet again in a month or two. Twice she mentioned bringing him in because she doesn't think he fully gets how hard day to day activities are for me (or some such....can't remember exactly).

I'm thinking that if she meets him, she and I can make more progress. In other words, she needs to get a better picture of me.

I don't know why I have been reluctant to bring hubby in to see her. Maybe I was concerned/protective of him.

Have any of your husbands been to see the therapist? And did it go well enough??

Mari

well since you asked....
My counselor wouldn't see jeff and I for couples counseling due to me having an established relationship already with her...
The counselor we saw together neither one of us knew her before so we were on pretty much even ground.
Perhaps your hubby could see her by himself....Do you really think he is going to understand your problems better if she is there telling him?
Or will you be telling him again how hard it is for you with her being there to validate your feelings.
Do you think he doesn't believe you?
That is putting alot of importance on what she says
compared to what you say.
Maybe you guys need a couples counselor....
I don't know...
What does your hubby say?
I think it is a great idea personally and was mad that my tdoc wouldn't work with us...she knew my back ground already but I can also see the ethical point as well.
anyway
keep us posted...
here it is another weekend...hope you are doing something fun and relaxing.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi
why can't she write a letter to him explaining how hard it is doing normal chores for a bipolar? Intuitively I don't think you need couples therapy and if it ain't broke why fix it? I am afraid it might complicate your situation.
If i were married, I would be protective of my husband too. If he thinks he needs help in dealing with living with someone who is bipolar then he should find his own therapist but it doesn't sound as if he has expressed that need.
Gee he doesn't he have a clue what depression is lol....You too sound like a perfect match. As you know I am very wary of most therapists.
Bobby

It would be a one time meeting/session.
He's been to therapy for himself around the times each of his parents died. (I pushed him to go and he says he benefitted.) He's actually had three different short term therapists -- so he understands the process of therapy a bit.

He runs very high energy and very intense -- almost manicky compared to my low energy. In our 11 years together I think I have observed him in a few depressions. They last a few hours or part of a day. He can sleep them off..... Or work them off by cooking elaborate meals for the whole week that we have to freeze for later.

I wasn't sure why the therapist wanted him to come in.
But now I am thinking that hubby might be able to get the therapist to help me more. He would be willing to do that for me.

Now I hear from the posts of both of you that maybe my first impulses were correct -- leave him at home.

I'm wary of therapists too. I met two good ones in my life (if I count this one). And I had many who should not be in practice. (Don't worry. I never went back after the first meetings.) What I told her was that I didn't want to bring him in and intrude on my time with her. It sounded like BS to me when I said it.

I mentioned something like this on the phone with my sister tonight. She said that hubby absolutely does not get how hard things are for me.
Sis is wrong.

I think he does.
I feel that he does.
Or rather, he gets it well enough.
I would NOT wish true understanding of this craap on anyone who didn't need to have it.

Thursday afternoon two situations at work combined with exceptional tiredness even for me completely threw me and sent me into a long crying fit. He hung in there with me and was mostly sympathetic. We ended up going to our 2 hr yoga class together on schedule with a friend and felt better afterwards.


Here's an example of his not getting it: On Thursday morning, in an early morning weird moment of his own, he suggested I keep several shirts in his closet ironed for him instead of ironing one each day. HA!
That could never happen.
I decided to renew my relationship with the dry cleaning lady near our old apartment. She does a good job of ironing shirts and doesn't charge much.

Mari

Hubby just said that he will iron his shirts.
M.

Mari-

First year of marriage, things were bad, I took hubby to a therapist I saw on my own about three times and she suggested bringing him to get him to talk about the situation. It was not a good visit, he admitted some things that I really did not want to hear about how hard it was with me and in retrospect, the words he said just stuck in my head for years. That was only one visit.

My husband when I have been out of the hospital, came with me to visit to therapist currently and basically for him to explain what has been going on more clearly than I could. She said she would see us together a couple of times if needed. I have seen her almost a year in February, so if need be I will, but I think it will just be a repeat him saying things and I would rather he just say them to me.

I never did, maybe I should of. I doubt he would of agreed to go, I don't know.

I think this is a decision that you both have to really agree on. Talk to hubby about it to see his reaction. You both need to feel comfy in doing this.

I think it can help, I doubt it could hurt.

Good Luck, Hugs, Nikko

I was just thinking what if it was reversed and my husband with me, I would be on the defensive already as they may feel set-up. Like being led to the slaughter. If you are having communication problems due to your situation, you see your doctor for your situation and see a couple's councilor for addressing the rest if it will help.

The man lives with you he sees your stuggles. whether he accepts them may mean he is valadating your liitationa and maybe he can still say your ok, even if your held together like banaids, like I feel.
If he is not hit in the face that you are disabled in your situation by a doctor he feels is befriended to you as their patient.

IS there a support group, video's about your stuggles that paint the picture, maybe a movie produced the character reminded you of yourself?

Home things get better in his concept, the shirt ironing is great...I only have a few a day every three months unless I ahve to I do the few items of mine. Otherwise when I worked I took unifors to the drycleaners, shirts were $2.50.

Hugs,
Di

Wonderful!!!!!
that was what I was gong to suggest!
bizi