please see your tdoc and explain that you are needing emotional support right now...don't dealing with the past or what ever else it is that is making you upset about therapy..the "hard stuff"...maybe you could even call and tell her/him that or email if you can do that.
you need all of the support that you can get.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Well done, Jen!

i hope your pdoc calls you back and is cooperative this time! lack of sleep messes with moods badly and an antidepressant can't fix that until the sleep is back on track. so i don't even know how valuable the nardil is right now. once you are sleeping again, you could try the nardil again and, provided it wasn't the cause of the sleep problems, it will probably help you again.

i think it is good that you are considering another pdoc too, if this one doesn't cooperate, but i hope he will. if you have to go anywhere, perhaps someone can drive you.

how long, in therapy have you been 'too close' to things that hurt too much? ... could that be interfering with the sleep? if so, maybe you can talk to your therapist about it...



~ waves ~

Dear Jen,
That's great that you made the call!

Now call the tdoc and ask for a break on the hard stuff. Right now you need help with what is happening day to day.

M.

my t and i have been working on hard things on and off for a year, but probably a month now. so i haven't been sleeping since march, and yeah we worked on stuff but i wasn't really "there". I dissociate a lot and don't know a lot about what happens there either. So lately we have been really working hard on stuff, and then other things came up with a good friend who told me i am too much to deal with and she can't deal with me cause she can't talk to me all the time. i don't understand where she got that i needed her to call me all the time and that hurt me bad. i hadn' cried in over i don't know how many years and last weekend i couldn't take it anymore and basically cried all weekend and now i feel like i am going cry all time.

i went so far as to ask to be sedated to get some sleep from 3 different docs. all said no and one said that's how micheal jackson died. they tell me can't help me. well if doc. can't help then who can?

really how long can a person go on 2 hours or less a night of sleep. i supposed people get less and then they can get kinda caught up but i can't even do that. i hate bed time now.

my t is the best t i have ever had and i know she is good. she lets me call, she is the only t that has ever let me call her/him and she actually gave me her cell# and am sure others have it to. I just don't use it a lot, don't think it's warrented a lot either. i already know what she going to say, my choice to come or not and she will say i really want you to come. she knows i am going through a hard time but not much she can do for me or anyone right?

i am too much for people now, so i have to keep quiet about things. i write things down. she wants me write free association and bring in. it's really long just like last week i wrote things and it was 16 pages, but she was fine with it. i think it's too much and don't know if i bring this in or not. says same thing over and over, no purpose and doesn't really say anything just mumbo jumbo. nothing that she doesn't already know.
i just want to be alone, like no one here at home and that starts tomorrow morning and goes till friday, i can't wait. not even the dog, no responsibilites nothing. but just the T appointment, and my mom says she get me there, i know i should go and i probably get worse or something if i don't go, so i need to, just scary when i go sometimes. i fight the tears for last 3 weeks and don't know how much longer that can go on.
anyways, am so sorry this so long.

thanks for all your support i do appreciate it, you are all wonderful people.
hugs
jen

Dear Jen

it sounds as though you have a really good T. it sounds like a good idea to keep your appointment. but i bet she will be receptive if you ask her for support with your day to day help right now rather than working on the big bad issues. who knows, she might have some good ideas to help you through until you can sleep again.

for the rest, just keep doing the best you can and stay safe. you are doing great - everything considered - imho.

crying can go in waves. maybe when your friend hurt your feelings that kind of pulled the stopper off on suppressed feelings ... you may need to cry for a while. crying can relieve a lot of tension too.



~ waves ~

Jen

I'm Donna and I'm sorry its taken me so long to come and support you.
I have been working to get my house ready for my son's graduation
parties.

I also don't have bipolar. But have anxiety issues and chronic pain issues.
I happen to take Neurotins Generic for chronic pain. And I've been told
that I need to make sure I take the full 900mg a day to receive full help
for my pain. And I found they were right. And the zanaflex for the muscle
relaxer I think is what I was told it is. And its something I notice when
I don't take its bad too. I take verapamil for my migraines, and it was
just upped because they were getting worse. I was started on it because
I also had high blood pressure and it works for both. I had asked to
be started on topamax, because it works for migraines. So I'm on it too.

I also have imitrex, for when they hit. And it works good too. But it
also puts me to sleep. I also take medication mediform for diabetes.
And then I have asthma and take two inhalers for that when needed.
One of those all the time. And I take hmmm, something for allergies
I've forgotten its name. I have taken myself off three drugs because
I didn't need them any more.

I also take something else for high blood pressure, I can't spell it.
And then I have tylenol with coidene I can take for severe pain.
But my pain doctor told me to quit waiting till it got so bad I was crying.

I was waiting till I couldn't walk or even hardly do my job. Which I
love.

I am here just let me know how to help. By the way the tylenol with
codeine puts me to sleep if I take two. Donna

i forgot to mention, Jen, that i have migraines too. and several years ago they increased in frequency to about 15 days out of every month. i took gabapentin (Neurontin generic) as a preventive for them and it worked great. i had to keep up at 1200mg qd. after about a year i tried tapering off and i was back to my "usual" frequency (2-3 days a month), so i don't need a preventive currently... but gabapentin helped me when i did.

~ waves ~

thanks all for support,
i so tired right now...i keep falling asleep while writting. it's only 7:15 and i know i won't be sleep long but going to go to bed anyways. if up all night again nothing i can do bout it no more. doc never even call me. figures. he nevermind, not apprpriate for me to say.
thanks again everyone, i am going to end up taking a valium tonight and extra pain pills cause hurt so bad, so may.
oh guess who just called, him. going to take 14 days to get taper down to 3 pills a day, so he said well, his nurse said call in 2-3 weeks, yeah whatever. will do this myself.
anyways, tc everyone hugs.
nite
jen

nite nite Jen.

i'm glad your doc called you at least, even if the news wasn't great.

i hope the Valium and pain pills lend you more sleep than usual, even just a little more.

rest well and sleep well.



~ waves ~

Hi,

I hope you sleep.

I'm glad you called the pdoc's office and got support for the taper.

Mari