Dear Waves,
I've slept in the middle of the room with workman too. It is the best way to try to ignore them.
I hope that the caffeine helped you and that you were able to get on with your day.

I wish that she would honor your requests to get rid of those toxic products.

Is this the second night in a row that you did not get your normal sleep" (I could go back and read but I don't remember . . . . . think I should put on some tea so I can get some caffeine.)

M.

sorry you are having such a rough time
love
bobby

Bobby,

If turning to alcohol isn't automatic for you, please don't start again. Don't allow it to become habit.
It does make depression worse- and also intensifies anxiety when your body recovers from it. You already know what the risks are for diabetics.

Sure, alcohol is used by many to calm down during manias; but I think it's really an unconscious thing because of lowered inhibitions.
Alcohol is also used during periods of depression as a way to escape- relief from those nagging thoughts and troubles.
Some people even use alcohol as a way of self-punishment because of feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing and the alcohol actually helps perpetuate those same feelings.

All this is just how I evaluate these kind of behaviors based on my own experiences with alcohol, living with a family full of alcoholics, and excerpts from nursing and psychology texts.

I hope you feel better soon.
((((HUGS))))
Kay

Dear Waves,

I wouldn't have been able to be down there with those workers on a good day. I probably would have either stayed in my room or bought a magazine/taken a book and left the house to go anywhere else (a coffee shop, a bench outside, etc). And I definitely wouldn't be able to tolerate the smell of a heavy degreaser.

I'm sorry, but I don't know what's going on with your hands...
Please correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm sorry if I am wrong....
But I've been assuming you're escaping by rubbing, picking, or something. I think I already mentioned that I sit in the mirror and pick at my face, but when I was little I used to rub my fingertips a lot and got calluses. My mother made me put heavy creams and clean white socks on my hands. The alcohol is definitely an escape for me.
I've been trying to read large print books, I'm always googling something or other, and play online games (right now free slots) as a distraction. I'm not depressed right now, but I always have plenty of unpleasant thoughts and things weighing on me.

So what if this guy is submitting your resume. You haven't been offered a job yet, and you could always find a way out if you didn't feel healthy enough if it happened. Also, the hiring process takes time and they may not want you to start right away. Don't worry about that now.

Try to find a healthier distraction. And hang in there! Don't be embarrassed here- I thought this site was hear so we could share our feelings.


Kay

oh waves,
I am sorry for all of the comotion at your house it sounded dreadful.
I am hoping that you find the strenght to get out of the house for some fresh air and a bit of a distraction.
I am sorry it is so hard right now....
bizi

Thanks everyone...

i am doing a little better now. i went to the store, so i didn't have to breathe the fumes. and then i made dinner, acting very territorial about the kitchen while i was cooking, so that i could sort of semi-isolate.

Mari... yes, this was my second night at 3 hours of sleep, and yesterday was even messier than today, all day, in my house - but less loud. well, they are done now. now the parents just have to finish freaking out and measuring things and adjusting thiings... sigh.

~ waves ~

Hi Kay,

i have always bitten my fingers - since i was a kid. it's pure nerves, not so much distraction. i stop or at least improve, but when i get nervous it creeps back, and it tends to snowball - the worse it gets, the worse it gets. right now, it's bad. i just have to try and reel it in as best i can. i have a few tricks up my sleeve that help... but so far i'm not succeeding. it can take time.

i do not have my own room, or you can bet i would have been in it - with the door locked. i sleep/live in the living room.

~ waves ~

Waves,

I'm sorry you don't have your own space right now. I've been there many times in the past, too. It can be a trying situation.

My husband is a picker, too. He's always bitten his nails, and his picking was mainly isolated to his back. I don't know how he gets to those spots, but he's afraid to show his back because of the scars. Now he's gotten into picking his arms. He's embarrassed by the evidence, but can't stop reopening the wounds.

The new pdoc told me that my picking, hair twirling, and mindlessly searching the internet was probably OCD. She said they were escapist behaviors, and even asked, "you feel better while doing it, don't you?"

I have periods when I'm very good about not picking my face, but once I start again, I can't stop. I always had my ways of hiding it, especially using a very hot face cloth over my face for several minutes followed by cold water. Now I'm starting to show scars and can't hide it anymore.

I hope that you're tricks will help you.
I'm sorry you've been in so much pain. It will end. Just hang in there.

Kay

Sorry Waves

I am just finally catching up again. I really feel for you not having your
own room. I sure wish i had a clue how to help you with that problem.

Donna

relieved.

the contractor guy did not call back. which means i don't have to hit the ground zooming(?) for the 3-week project-wrap-up contract starting this monday. (that's what the Java would have been for, and that's why he suggested i read - which, like, yearrright.)

the deal here is i just do not want to tell him no when he tosses something my way, because i am not ready to burn bridges.

Dear Kay, i don't know if munching my fingers is a compulsion but it could be and if so maybe the Zoloft will help eventually. and an SSRI could help you in that regard also - Zoloft and other SSRI's are used for OCD right.... it takes longer to show benefit in that regard, than it does for depression. 8-12 weeks for treating obssessive thinking and compulsions.

i really don't do anything to hide it. i mean i don't go and purposely shove it in people's faces, but it's not always conscious so i sometimes find myself trimming away in public ... oh well.

thanks Donna, for the kind thoughts.

~ waves ~