therapists and why we put up with them
 

Hi, Bizi,
The more I think about this, the less I think the conversation has to do with separating bipolar issues from other issues.

The pdoc seems impatient with you or with your situation.
The pdoc seems not clear with how to deal with you.

And the tdoc, well, she is annoying and doesn't seem to get it.
Most therapists I've run into think that their job is to improve the patient's lives. They want to see progress. They are achievement oriented.

And many times, we don't make progress in the way that most therapists define it.
For me often progress invovles feeling better about my situation and being better able to cope......more or less...

So I don't know what the issues are that the pdoc and tdoc are talking about. (ignore my posts from last night :confused: )
And who said that we HAVE to work on our issues????
Other groups are not expected to be in therapy and solve their issues or work on themselves. Some people hug their crap close and mishandle everything through their issues without out every going to counseling (I know. I have many in my family. Many in my workplace.)

Back to bipolars:
Therapy doesn't even work for lots of bipolar/mood stuff. Therapy helps us deal with the dx, helps us manage our meds, helps us manage our days......
So in that regard, maybe your therapist was a big help recently. Possible (I'm not sure), she helped you through the recent mania(ish) battles. And she did her job I think by encouraging you to call the pdoc and then calling for you.

So perhaps she earned her keep?

But what I'm saying is that she doesn't see it that way. She wants to chart your progress. Or check off boxes.

Maybe you can clarify with her what your therapy goals are.
I'm thinking that goals change from time to time. When we are feeling on top of the word and doing well, we might want the therapist to help us move ahead with achieving our personal goals.

But when we are in the middle of bipolar and meds stuff, we need the therapist to help us stay in front of the mood and not lose to it.
When I had Xanax withdrawals last summer, my therapist listened and sympathized and encouraged me to call the pdoc. That's all she could have done. Her therapy skills were otherwise useless. I was having lots of w/d symptoms in her office and off the charts with anxiety. And it was about the Xanax -- nothing about me.
For her to tell me later that I have to work on my issues is crazy. Really.


So in sum, mostly I would say to stop worrying and lighten up on yourself.
Also, it wouldn't hurt to talk to the therapist about what you expect from her and when you expect it. :)


Mari

getting through the day sometimes
 

Dear Bizi,
You can use whatever language you want for it.
You shouldn't have to adopt to the language of the therpaist.
I guess she is trying a kind of thing about feeling more in control of what is going on by using language that says sometimes you can control/modify/stop the moods.


This is why G-d made pdocs.

Use your bipolar for every excuse/reason/explanation you need.
For crying out loud, every day that we get up and get through our day is a triumph.

And no, it doesn't make sense to me.
I think that when a person feels stable, they can do whatever they want in therapy. During times of crisis, we are bipolar patients, pure and simple.

OK. I could be soo soooooo wrong. I'm giving it a try here.
I hope that some of my thoughts help.
And it helps me to think it out a bit too.

Good luck Bizi.


The thing about being mostly depressed like I am is that I don't have the luxury to be hard on myself. I have to baby myself and tell myself I am doing a good job. I say "good job, Mari" or "thank you god" throughout the work day because first of all, I am doing a good job. And second of all, I am achieving a near miracle simply by functioning.

I think if I ran manic, I might not be that way. I might be hard on myself and pushing for more more more and getting frustrated.


:Trapeze 2:

I'm speculating again.
Off to bed.
I hope you have a good Sunday.
Mari

My psychiatrist has helped me big time. He is all accepting and when there is an opportunity he puts in a positive word. He has only triggered me maybe three times in the past five and half years which is a miracle in itself.
He provides me with a stable environment to visit and he is a rock. He has not tried to change me or command me to do anything. He answers my questions as best as he can.
It is very nice having a rock to visit lol
not some idiot
Bobby

What if
 

Bizi, what if you had diabetes, should you or could you seperate yourself from that.
Seems they would be a part of your life, not consuming it, but a part of it.
I don't get the remark?

Di

I think I would do anything to avoid another hospitalization, including running away!
Now I know that sounds manicy...
thank you again, my friend
...will post more later too.
I need to reread all of this.
bizi

Mari, you are so eloquent.

bizi, love you. I hope that things start pulling back into a better place for you. I am happy that Mardi Graus is still happening but I wouldn't be able to handle all the mayhem and chaos while trying to get through a mania. It would be unbearable. HUGs and Hugs today.

bizi
 

:hug:

you are getting some great advice and feedback. i'm sorry i wasn't here for you yesterday. spent from 7am until 11 pm moving my folks.

my take on this may not be correct. but...here goes.

you have bipolar. it is a disease. it is part of you. makes up who you are. it does not define you. you are bizi who has bipolar.

just like any disease, you needs meds to help control it. the sme med and dose does not always work the same. adjustments need to be made.

just like any person with any disease, there are additional emotional issues attached. getting depressed because you have bipolar, have a death in the family, an anniversary of a death, non supportive spouse, family or friends, all play a part.

this can also be said of most illnesses. not to talk about myself, but i have a chronic progressive back condition. not having the support..having to ask for help, family not "seeing" before i way over due it and cause myself more pain...it just adds to the cycle.

i am very sorry for the loss your pdoc suffered. but if it effecting her prioffesional life, she needs to take a break. even telling her patients...can lead to more stress for y'all.

i hope you are having a wonderful sunday. i am always just a pm a way.
btw...thank you for all your thoughtful and helpful pm's about my house. :hug:

Yes Mari,
I do tend to push myself...I should be doing more...I should be able to function at a higher level...I should work harder to make more money...I should ,should, should.
I am putting more pressure on myself and need to stop.
I guess I am pressuring my self to be "normal"...
"what the hello is normal for me?" I don't know anymore....
maybe I am the one in denial.....

frustrating and dissappointing

all I know is that I want to be well enough to be able to get up in the mornings again and go to the gym.
This is my goal.
bizi

I hope that I have not triggered anyone with all of this...
thank you my friends for supporting me.
(((HUGS)))
bizi:grouphug: