I'm grateful for so many things in my life even though there is a lot of turmoil going on in it right now. There are many things that I should be sad/angry about but I'm not going to let it ruin my day/week. Knowing that there are kind hearted people here who really understand what it is like to take a walk in the 'stigma shoes'- is truly a gift. Gift? Yes- I did say that!

Gift. In some way we have to look at the BP thing from a funny standpoint. It does help us in some ways. We all are able to view life from various different angles. Right? If you really think about it- we are lucky in that manner. Not that it wreaks havoc in our lives though- don't get me wrong (we all have days/weeks/months of pure madness/terror/depression)- but we all know that thru this illness we all have a better sense of appreciation for life of what it really is.

The sense of enjoying the sunset, warmth of the sun sitting in a chair outside in the afternoon, listening to the birds in the early morning, e-mailing those around us who 'get it' when family/friends 'just don't have a clue', cooking and making a new recipe (even if it didn't work- just doing it was a big deal!), cleaning house (it is a big deal), taking the dog for a walk (getting out of the house is a big deal), going to the store (another big deal others don't get and take forgranted- we do get; don't take forgranted).... the smallest things are trivial to others but huge to us. Which makes us all appreciate them even more.

For a long time I had agoraphobia. Still, I suffer from social anxiety issues. It is not fun. It is like a cross over illness with the BP. It sucks. I'm working on it though. How? My goal when I go out in public is to talk to the clerk at the grocery store, etc. Stupid things like that- most people don't understand. It is a big deal to me. Some of you really understand what I mean by it.

Sorry for rambling. Need to take care of the laundry/home. Doggie is getting mad at me.

Thinking of you all.

Hugs

thank you for sharing that!
yes these are big steps to take and seem ordinary for others.
I hate to use the word normal people because every one has mental health issues or challenges that they face it is called life....
being accepted is really important to us all.
I congratulate you in making these steps in the right direction!
good for you!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi,
That is a huge goal. I barely make eye contact.
I've got too many things to focus on with the stuff moving across the conveyor belt and keeping track of my money.
I hope I get everything right and get out of the store with out cracking up and making a scene.

So yes. I understand that taking what seem like little steps to others might be a big deal to us.

I thing it is great to cultivate a practice of gratitude.
It makes us feel better about ourselves and the people around us.

M.

I try to chat up clerks at stores, too! Some days, it's a success. Others, I just come off as very odd- or at least how I perceive myself.

I have noticed even those that are considered normal have trouble looking
people in the eyes. Or paying attention period.

So bravo for the trying.

donna

Dear Coffeegirl what a wonderful post, and great attitude!

yes, we do have to recognize achievements in small things we do... that are not so easy for us.

by nature i am fairly amicable, tend to want to be friendly, but am fearful of it at the same time. so sometimes i reach out and it is always a risk. Kay i know just what you mean... there's times people react well and it seems so natural, and then other times i've felt like a total kook - for days after. it is worse if i am holed up for a long time, and not used to dealing with people. get horribly self-conscious.

today i met a couple people's gazes by chance and they smiled at me. i smiled back briefly and then looked away... the latter being necessary to keep polite reserve between strangers. but it isn't often others smile at me spontaneously. or sometimes, they do and i can't help think they are sniggering. it did not feel that way, it felt welcoming. like they approved of my existence. i admit i am also pleased i was able to process it in a positive way, rather than feel threatened or ridiculed.

i too am grateful for everyone here that appreciates these subtle difficulties in our daily lives.

~ waves ~

I am happy for your interactions today waves!

I'm really not self-confident. My physical disabilities make it worse....

I like to have a glass of wine every now and then, so I go to the liquor store with the best wine selection...
Several weeks ago, I went there with one of my friends and I didn't get ID'ed but he did. I joked about it, and the clerk said it was because she remembered me. I joked that it must be because I'm a gimp. She said, "oh no, it's because of the beautiful tattoo you have around your neck."

I feel strange going there now, and feel like she doesn't look at me the same way anymore.

oh wow...i would have talen that as such a compliment. what is it of?
Bobby

Kay: Good for you treating yourself to something really nice- especially wine. I love wine; it is a pleasure!

Your tatoo definitely is eye appealing. In some ways, the clerk must be jealous to a varying degree and not brave enough herself to get one. Just for her to recognize it/remembering you with it is a big deal. Most clerks don't remember customers at all. She remembered you by the design of the tatoo- connecting you (the person) with the tatoo (the image).

If you feel self-concious about going in that store don't. You hold your head up high, smile and think "I have a beautiful tatoo and was brave enough to get it done"! Keep that in the back of your mind. You are brave, courageous and kind. Run with it!!!

Hugs

Coffeegirl