Trigger:


I feel like my body will collapse from pure exhaustion from not enough sleep from too much worrying about all my stress of recent past. I cannot sleep so I took some Klnopin to see if that will help. I hate my life. I wish I could just forget Goodwill and my Rehab. counselor. I wish my brothers and other family members would realize just because I am bi-polar does not mean I don't have feelings. I know that statement doesn't make sense but my family has always had the attitude that if I show any feelings, it is because I am sick and they green warrent me or take me to the hospital. It seems even the County Mental Health clinic i once went to felt the same way and it appears so does my Rehab. counselor. As my shrink, I can't spell psychiatrist, describes it, people tend to treat people with a mental illness as 2nd class citizens when we are not.

Well, the Klnopin is calming me down some or just writing and getting it out is helping.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
I am so sorry that you are not sleeping well,
It is hard having a mental health problem by itself and then have family issues and other non supportive people in your life. This must seem so frustrating to you.
I hope that the klonipin helped you to sleep last night. It used to help me before I took sleeping pills now.
Try to be nice to yourself today, maybe a nap will help or even a hot bath.
Do something fun if you can something that you enjoy...maybe go to chuckie cheeses to watch some kids play...
Make a new tradition for yourself....
we go to waffle house now on sunday mornings for breakfast and are getting to be freindly with the watresses there...social contact.
You are a wonderful woman and deserve to be treated well.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

BF - Take care - sending lots of


Nikko

((((((Bee)))))),

Honey, you're finding out how hard it is to start a new life.

I sent myself a card 10 years ago -- just to check and see if the postal forwarding was working because I felt like I wasn't getting all my mail. I wrote a silly little note to myself -- actually had forgotten that I had even written it.

But, when I received it in the mail -- it hit home. I've kept it all these years right where I can see it:

Bee, it's hard to start over. And give up a lot of the things that used to comfort us.

Give yourself credit for what you've accomplished so far. Be thankful for the beautiful gifts in your life -- like your nephew.

Do what Bizi says -- start some pleasant new rituals in your life that'll give you something to look forward to.

Try to stay away from the negative people as much as possible. OR, tell them straight out you don't appreciate their negativity, it's not really adding anything helpful to your life.

Buy yourself some flowers. And thank G-d that you've gotten a chance to start over again.

BIG HUGS.

Barb

PS: Go here: http://tobeebook.com/blog/ and read this "Following Your Compass" (about 2/3 of the way down the page). More hugs.

Thank you Bizi, Nikko, and Barb.

I kind of did start something new, going to the nursing home twice since Christmas to visit people. Only, I need some other new things to go with it as it is not enough.

Barb, yes I am finding out just how hard it is to start all over again. That was a very good note you sent to yourself.

I just feel wore out today, like I'm depressed. I will try to get focused on better things thoughs.

befuddled2

((((((Bee)))))),



More hugs!!

Barb