way to go
bobby

Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety!!!

Still not sure what's going on yet. I'm jittery and have REALLY lost track of time today (I've gotten absolutely nothing done). But I'm not getting up constantly to do x,y,z immediately compelled to do it.

I smoked a little pot last night Hehe. I use it to reduce pain and muscle spasms. It helped a bit, and also produced a nice calming effect.
It's "decriminalized" in my state, but no medical marijuana here. All my doctors are aware and do not disapprove.

anxiety.... even after the pot? em..... i don't know how little you use but i'd expect it to help with that too - even carry over to the next day a bit in terms of calming effects.

very suspicious, IF it's just, plain, anxiety.

so it may not be.

you mentioned before maybe you are starting to run high (hypo)? could you avoid the weed, just till you have a better idea. i know what i am suggesting can be literally a 'pain' for you i am sorry.

i am just thinking, for temporary diagnostic purposes: it can obfuscate key sx and mimic others that would help you understand where you are at.

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~

Hi Waves...

Yeah, I'm on my way up.

I'm to attending to x,y,z immediately now- can't sit still- nervous habits in full effect- racing thoughts- having some difficulty differentiating between dream and reality- inanimate objects have human thoughts and feelings. Yeah...
Am I a little psychotic?
Yes, I'm in a great mood, but I really don't enjoy these feelings.
Generally, I'm well maintained on 0.5mg xanax am and pm. I've taken all 4 today without effect. I slept well last night, but I have a feeling sleep won't come easily tonight. I'm usually on my way to bed about now....
I've gotten more done today than I have in a while, delayed by trying to doing too many things at once. Funny, since I have a temp, unusual headaches/facial pain, and swollen/painful right-sided neck and axillary nodes. I need to check in with my mdoc.

My pdoc gave me a sample of zyprexa to take for manic symptoms and sleeplessness. One at night, then call the next day to discuss symptoms and plan.
I'm going to hold off on zyprexa for now- it's only about 9pm now and a little premature. But I'm definitely going to call pdoc's office tomorrow. This seems to be snow-balling a bit quicker than usual. I have to nip this in the bud as quickly as possible...
So I'm already under the weather and these episodes absolutely wreck me. I'm not in great shape and really can't deal with the fallout right now.

Well, this is the longest time I've gone without a manic episode in a long time. If it's mania when it lasts for more than a few weeks, I guess it's always mania- my batting average is 1-3 months.
I REALLY REALLY hope that if treated early enough, this episode will be shorter and less intense. I absolutely HATE this feeling!!!

Will keep you posted.

Oh, also never taken zyprexa before...

one my way to google to research now. Yea.

Dear Kay,
I hope you knock out the mania before it shows up.
Zyprexa can help.

We remind each other on the board ( ) is that you really want to take care of this by Thursday / today so that you can call pdoc on Friday morning. It is hard to get a hold of the docs on the weekend.
Good luck!

M.

what medications do you take? I would never take zyprexa because of the weight gain. I am on risperdal which has weight gain but not as ferocious.
I am glad that you are not depressed.
bobby

For psych meds:

200mg lamictal
75mg in am, 150mg pm effexor (NOT ER)
0.5mg xanax 4 times a day, as needed (usually only take 2 a day)
100mg trazodone once a day at bedtime

The zyprexa is only for the beginning of the episode to get to sleep, not intended to be taken for an extended period of time. So, I'm not worried about the weight gain.

I didn't take the zyprexa last night. I took an extra xanax (5 total for the day) and went to bed at 1am. I probably fell asleep around 2.

I thought I was doing okay this morning. I guess I wasn't awake yet. I've been off the wall since 11am. Big Boy kitty is keeping an eye on me.

I had my 1st session of land PT today. What a work out! I should be flat out by now, but I'm not. I'm moving very slowly and have lots of muscle spasms. Exhausted, but my mind is dragging me around.

My pdoc instructed me to take the zyprexa if I have mania that prevents me from sleeping. Then call the office the next day. She insisted I leave a message with the front desk so they could notify her right away.
So, like a good girl, that's what I did (except taking the zyprexa). I'm just waiting for a call back now. She'll probably recommend reducing the effexor, and maybe add something else?

I got an answer (from a member of my SSDI forum) about my SSDI backpay concerns that seems to have satisfied me, but I want those other docs so I can start doing the taxes NOW.

My health insurance changes over February 1st. I need referrals for my MS specialist who in turn will try to get approval for my Tysabri infusion, which is scheduled for February 2nd. I also need to get a referral for PT and don't know how to go about it- 2 different types of PT, prescribed by 2 different specialists. I don't know if my primary will just refer me or if I have to get 2 more refferals, so the 2 specialists can refer me to PT? I have to call the new HMO.
So, all the referral BS and student loan discharges I need from my doc makes me feel guilty scheduling an appointment about being sick. I know it's irrational. I just feel badly about expecting/needing so much and imposing on others. I don't know how to go about all of it. Should I call, go in, or email my primary? UGH.

I'll probably be doing something about all that ****ing **** today. I also have already wrinkled laundry to fold, vacuuming seems possible, and I'm going to make some beef stew.

I can't take a month or more of this again. I'm jumping out of my ****ing skin... maybe getting to some of those chores will make me feel better and make the time pass slower.

Oh, I know it's strange how I space my posts. I just have trouble reading things when they're close together.

P.S. Waves, you're right about the pot and haven't smoked it again.

Hey there Kay... yeah i got nothin against pot its just when there's a lot of stuff going on.... sheesh... it's one more variable, and since it can have multiple effects (up and down... and variants thereof) it's almost like a multivariable in one....

i DO hope your doc gets you OFF the effexor. first thing my pdoc did was get me off the zoloft COMPLETELY and as fast as possible. luckily, fast WAS possible for me, asi hadn't taken it for that long. and i think zoloft is less clingy of a med than effexor d/c wise, even in similar conditions....

even so, i believe my/our(me+pdoc)'s mistake was not removign the zoloft as SOON as depression lifted --- different from, wait till grinning idiot shows up. grinning idiot rapidly turns into very evolved and complicated creature of many ambitions.............. oh how velvety and delicious. not so much those racing thoughts and jibber jabber with bits of temporo-spatial contortion though eh?

i am now on so much depakote i literally can't think... lose words, lose trac of phrases, cannot add. forget what i was doing but not becausee i am distracted - mind becomes empty. if you knocked on my skull it would resound. at i risk seeming a dodo at work... i took less these 2 nights, i hoep it helps pad.

thought i'd toss out some considerations for you - mostly ones i've made on myself over years of course.

good luck. sorry if it isn't a good one... for me it was sucha breath of fresh air it was intoxicating it was hard to take the meds i knew would eventually separate me from an identity i had not felt in years.

~ waves ~

Unfortunately, I'm like that a lot at my baseline. ****ing neurons!

Can you believe the pdoc never called?
I normally take 2- 75mg tabs of effexor at night. I've decided to take only 1 1/2 tonight. It is difficult to reduce/discontinue effexor, but I've gone up and down by 37.5mg before.

I went to the mdoc after all. Hey! I have a good-sized painful lymph node in my right pit, a sinus infection & now I have antibiotics.
Hey gladly filled out and signed off to have my student loans discharged due to "total and permanent disability."
He's not worried about all the referrals. I can just call and ask for them as needed and they'll be taken care of.

I never got around to vacuuming or making beef stew because of the mdoc appointment. Maybe I'll vacuum tomorrow, maybe not... but we have a lot of snow coming again tomorrow and there will be beef stew! And probably fresh bread (from the bread maker).

I'm absolutely wrecked from PT and submitting to my mind's whims over the past 2 days. So much pain, so exhausted. I can't see sleeplessness tonight. Oh, I also had 3 beers tonight.