Hi,
I had a long talk with my mom. The problem is ALCOHOL and I know it and she knows it. So, there will be no more alcohol in this house. If she doesn't drink everything is fine. She has agreed. If she ask's me to go get, I will NOT. If she starts about it, I will go for a ride, or walk the dogs, until she realizes I am serious. I think she knows now, I am very serious.

She is a different person when she is sober. She I mean when she drinks.

We also have information from the counsel of aging being sent, to see what she needs, and I need, as to a break for me sometimes..

They have loads of options to chose from.

This is what I have decided, if this does not work, then I will go to plan B. I know you probably think I am crazy, but I have to give this a try and be firm.

I made this decision, she did not beg or make me feel guilty about moving.
I just have to do this, I hope you can understand.

Hugs, Nikko

We don't have to understand, just support.

I like your idea. If she agrees to be sober, then you can stay. If she renigs, then you have to go. It's a fine aggreement and you both deserve for things to go well. I hope she can do it, because you really just can't any more.

Funny how when we get rid of one toxic relationship, we often start to target the other toxic relationships. My brother is a different man when he is sober as well. I love him. He is my life, my lite and my joy. I hate him when he drinks. I'll tell you more about it later if you want. I just want you to know I empathise with how hard this decision is.

I am so excited to hear about programs out there to help you out and give you a break!! YEAH! Oh, you need this so badly.

About the hubby in your other post. Jerk. He doesn't deserve any more of a label than that. He's just a nothing, nobody, useless, jerk. Kick his butt, love. Good call on getting in touch with the po. Keep up the good work.

Dear Nikko,
You are going to find a way to make this work.
I have faith.

Mari

NAMES DOUG
CAN I ASK HOW OLD YOUR MOM IS MAYBE THE OFFICE FOR THE AGING CAN HELP MY FAMILY JUST WENT THROUGH SOMETHING SIMULAR
WITH MY GRANMOTHER
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS EXTREMLY ABUSIVE TO THE ENTIRE FAMILY
MYSELF INCLUDED AND I WAS ONE OF 7 GRANDCHILDREN WHO TRIED
VERY HARD TO MAKE HER HAPPY SHE WAS DOWN RIGHT MISERABLE AND THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD PUT HER IN HER PLACE WAS MY GRANDFATHER
AND HE DID IT MORE THAN ONCE SHE BACKED DOWN WITH HER TAIL BETWEEN HER LEGS AND HE WAS NOT THE ABUSIVE TYPE BUT WHEN HE PASSED ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE MY AUNT WAS ABUSED ALL HER LIFE
SHE WAS NOT WHAT YOU CALLED THE ANGEL SHE COULD NOT DO ANYTHING RIGHT MY GRANDMOTHER ABUSED HER STILL THE DAY SHE DIED
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA IN HER EARLY 90S
SHE WOULD NOT EXCEPT ANY HELP SHE THREW MY COUSIN OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TOLD LIVE IN THE SHELTER SHE COULD CARE LESS MY COUSIN QUIT HER JOB TO HELP HER AND THIS IS WHAT SHE GOT IN RETURN
OVER THE YRS STARTING IN 1990 GRANDMA HAD A STROKE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DIABITIES BROKE HER WRIST AND HIP SHE WAS PUT IN AN ASSITED LIVING HOUSING AND WAS MISERABLE
SHE BEGGED MY COUSIN TO COME BACK AND MY GRANDMOTHER WAS PAYING HER OTHERWISE SHE WOULD LEAVE THAN SHE THREW HER OUT AGAIN AND THIS TIME MY SIS N LAW DID THE SAME THING QUIT HER JOB TO STAY WITH HER IN OCT OF 06 GRANDMA DEVELOPED AN INFECTION
SHE WENT DOWN HILL FROM THERE MY BROTHER WHO HAD POA PUT HER IN THE HOSPITAL AND THAN IT WAS DECIDED FOR HER TO GO TO THE NURSING HOME SHE HAS SINCE PASSED AT THE AGE OF 99
SO YES I UNDERSTAND PLEASE GRIN AND BEAR IT AFTER NOT VISITING
GRANDMA IN THE NURSING HOME FOR A MONTH SHE WAS SAY HAPPY TO SEE US ALL
GET YOUR MOTHER CHECKED FOR DIABITIES BECAUSE THIS CAN MAKE PEOPLE VERY ABUSIVE IT APPEARS MY GRANMOTHER HAD THIS FOR ALONG TIME AND SHE WAS A SUGAR HOLIC SHE WOULD NOT SEE A DR UNTILL MY BROTHER TOLD HER YOUR GOING AND THATS IT SHE HAD NOBODY ELSE
SHE WAS NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH HIM


DOUG
DNIXON6486@AOL.COM

I understand completely..I had to cut ties with my mom and for most of the year I was the evil cold hearted ***** but I know if I don;t take care of myself no one else will and an alcoholic can only help themselves so give her a final ultimatum and stick with it with a clear heart and soul...you have went much further then most! I am proud of you and you should feel the same!

So far - So good, No alcohol in the house and she is a different person.

It is going to stay that way. I always gave in before, not this time.


Nikko

YOu are doing a good job...you really are.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Good for you!
Keep up the great work and make sure to take care of you!

Sounds like you really mean business this time. Alcohol ruins so many lives, yet it remains legal and anyone over 21 can buy it, drink it, abuse it, etc. I wish you all the strength and support you need to see this through .

In fact, you know we are ALL behind you

And if it just doesn't work out, there's always PLAN B

Gentle hugs, Jacquie

Nikko

I personally Think you are my HERO.

I think you are doing a wonderful job taking care of yourself and
your mother. After you put the law down, and your mom listened.

Not that there wont be times that she will try to make you
let her drink.
Not that there wont be times that she will maybe fall of the wagon.

But you are there and you will make things work if she wants them
too.

You are one wonderful person, friend and daughter.


I personally am hoping even though you don't know me you
don't mind if I call you my friend and hero.

donna