Nikko,

For whatever reason the father has, he is not going to take your side 100%. Forget about getting support from him.
He has his own reasons and it is hard to get inside the head of another person.


I would not forward the jerk's mail. I would be writing "Not at this address" and "Return to sender." You don't need to be so accomdating and then feel bad that no one appreciates what you do. Check with your DV counselor or lawyer about this. But, in my mind, if he no longer lives there, then he no longer gets mail there either.

I know that you want to see justice done. But you might not get it. The state will do what it usually does. And you don't know what is going on exactly with the judges and lawyers. But don't worry. As long as you keep him away from you, you will have what you need to go forward with your life.

I suppose you could try suing him in civil court. But as you said he has little money (that you know about). And I have no idea how this would work. Still, it is an avenue you could consider if you expect the state court to disappoint you.

Are you going through divorce court?


Nikko, this is a hard period to go through. Do your best and focus on what is important. I feel for you.

Sending hugs.
Mari

Dear Nikko,
The above is quite clear and I would not have any thing more to do with this man.
And I would not forward anymore mail!
Mari is right....
This all sounds so hard and I feel for you.
Hang in there and knkow that you are cared about...
(((HUGS)))
bizi

i would double check with the DV counselor and your lawyer about what to do with the mail, i.e. whether there needs to be some official address changing ... is his name on the lease? etc. only to avoid risk of doing ANYTHING that might compromise your case. it may not be acceptable to toss the mail ( tempting, eh?) nor perhaps to mark it "not at this address/return to sender" (esp. if name on lease), so do please check out the legal aspect of what you can/ought to do...

but i am certain you do NOT have ANY responsibility to FORWARD it to his dad! You may have to just let it pile up in a box or something. check with the courts for the best course of action. track straight.

i agree with Mari and Bizi about his Dad - I think best not correspond. Even if this man has been supportive at times, now that does not sound like the case. Apart from the emotional (un)support, i also think it safer to avoid information exchanges at all with him, about or not about the case. He could end up testifying against you, horrid as that sounds. Protect yourself. talk to the counselors, the legal services and courts; avoid contact direct or indirect with your husband, and avoid sharing information with potentially damaging third parties.

Please take care. I want you to feel better, and I want the state to slam him (into the slammer ).

hugs
w.

Nikko,
You have gotten some very good advice from your friends here.
I don't know any of your story except what I read here, I don't need to though I lived it for way to many yrs.
Listen to the advice you have been given, you have nothing to prove to his dad and you will never convince him that there is 2 sides to every story, I don't know the situation with your DH and his father and this could be way off base but as a general rule your DH had to learn his behavior from some where and most likely it is dear ole dad, even if not his dad is not going to want to believe the worse about his son..

Good luck to you and take care of yourself..
Hugs, Linda

Hi Nikko,
I don't know when I will have a chance to get back on line. Haven't plugged in the MAC yet.

How are you holding up?
I hope that each day gets better for you.
Mari