Take your time with the figuring.
Maybe spelling it out here will help you.
You certainly want to keep yourself free of szs.


M.

yeah.

right now, i see 2 options:

1. take the same meds tonight as last night
   PRO: keeps Zyprexa on board - treat pre-delusional state sooner.
   PRO: allows for further reduction of Depakote next day
   PRO: Zyprexa should cover general manic sx (Depakote subtherapeutic)
   CON: risk of zombie-induced screwups at work or getting there
   --- OR ---
2. take same meds as last night, minus the zyprexa -
   PRO: ensures i get to work and can perform
   PRO: allows for further reduction of Depakote next day
   CON: risk of breakthrough manic sx (Depakote subtherapeutic)
   CON: inconsistent use of Zyprexa will treat the delusional stuff.

i dunno. i am looking at this list and just don't know. first option seems better, pro/con wise... but i don't feel convinced. if i take the zyprexa i'm gonna have to go to bed at like 9! :eek: i'm not sure that will happen. i bet some of you know what i mean as that goes.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves, :hug: :hug: :hug:
Part of me likes list 1 because it is closest to last night.
If the "con" were weighted as being a very big con, the 1 looks less desirable. I'm not as concerned about as you are about screw ups at work. I think that you don't really have to do a good job for this weirdo and put lots of pressure on yourself (you can work slowly, take breaks, . . . . ). You just have to do a good enough job most (not all) days.
BUT if getting to work is a concern for you, I see that as a big issue that might be big enough to move to list 2.

I don't like list 2 because Depakote is already not doing its job for you and going even lower seems weird.

OK. Please know what I want you to be ok.
My first psychiatrist once tried to help me pick what med to lower. She told me to pick randomly. :eek: She was right although I did not take her advice.

You've set up your list 1 and list 2 very well. With either list you are not going to feel all that great tomorrow. The listing is more medium term method to get you to your next pdoc appt. Keep yourself as best as you can until you see him. Either one will be close enough. You can re-evaluate on Monday.

You can decide for now, and then re-affirm your decision closer to bed time. today. I do hope you go to bed at a reasonable bed time if you can.

M.

Dear Mari

that is a pretty big con, yes.

i had better explain about work. this is not a "relaxed" time like when i started. there is a project we need to hand off and it's all rush rush go go is it ready yet!!! so this is the worst time to show up late if ever. friday, my morning noshow could have made the difference between a handoff or no handoff, if it weren't for the fact my boss wasn't around(? overheard) but in any case things are ASAP.

also, in general, showing up and on time is something that can and would likely be propagated back the entire contractor chain and considered "irresponsible" behavior" - cause for termination, certainly cause for non-renewal.

there are several points of difficulty in terms of getting there....i can
- not wake up/keep falling back asleep
- fall asleep on one of the transits and not get off when i am supposed to... i have THREE opportunities to do this, as i change twice and then have to get off at destination.

being incoherent is less of a big deal insofar as i can cover it up.

anyway, as you say, i will let it brew for the rest of the evening...

~ waves ~

I like 1 better. as you say you were working on catching up on your sleep.
you can always take the zyprexa earlier and go to bed earlier. In my opinion you need time on your side with the zyprexa for its properties to continue to work its magic. zyprexa is your friend for short term use, it is not your enemy. ((((HUGS))))
bizi

dear bizi

thanks for the thoughts and hugs. :)

as i said in the other post, i'd have to go to bed at nine... which... i just don't see happening. :rolleyes: but i agree that discontinuous use is not going to help as much. and the quicker i am straight the quicker i can get off.

i was thinking about baby doses.... i wonder if i can induce Zyprexa metabolism with something...

the other thing is i just had a shower and cut my hair and had racing thoughts all through. now they are more in background, i think because my verbal stuff is like pluggedinto writing or something. if i close my eyes i see like whole cartoon movies.... characters interacting and talking etc.... the thoughts were well, typical song or two plus like a distant room of people conversing, and also snippets of conversation... in different languages.

this was happening when i lowered the depakote to 750, which is why i went back to the gram. heck. but, the zyprexa should nix this too.

when i took zyprexa by itself, as a mood stabilizer, i was on 15mg. this is so bizarre.

~ waves ~

well, what's done is done
 

at 8:40 pm, i took:

10 mg Zyprexa
500 mg Depakote
1 mg long-acting benzo (anxiolytic) (2/3 my usual dose)

i also remembered to take my vit B today.
and magnesium. i've been having leg cramps.

i need to pick up some other supplements now that i am taking things separately, i am missing stuff.

anyway, wish me luck getting to work. alarm is set for 6.30, mom is going to bring me coffee at 7 and wake me then if i am still in bed. waking up, getting up, and getting there are the hard parts. after that i'll suck coffee down until the brain becomes viable ... http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/edible/coffee.gifhttp://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/edible/coffee.gifhttp://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/edible/coffee.gif

~ waves ~

sending good thoughts your way dear waves.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

'Wishing you a good day at work, Waves.

We are here with you.
M.

Hi Folks

thank you for the wishes and thoughts.

The farthole threw another hissyfit that made my blood... well, it didn't boil, quite, but close... no, it boiled. i was near shaking.

good thing he left right after. i gave him the finger :D as he walked away, very subtle like ... my hand was resting on the desk so could easily have been turned it into a less explicit hand movement if he had turned around.

then i had trouble concentrating for a while and felt agitated and flattened at the same time. very, very, odddd feeling.
:confused:

i thought of you guys. it made me feel better that i could come home in x amount of time and find you here. thank you for being here, today and always.

:grouphug:

~ waves ~