Nahhh, it's ok Donna, don't worry - i took Depakote for abbout 3 years myself. i only stopped back in about april for other reasons and turns out everythings ok. i just had never heard of it producing hallucinations.

Mari the med plan is not great. i am revving up. i plan to take 750mg of the depakote tonight. i see pdoc tomorrow night.

i noticed i was just much more rambunctious today in general too.... zyprexa or not. getting to the hypo level.... very weird. i was wondering to myself if i am flushing it out or something. but i am not smoking or taking OTC's for that matter. i do drink coffee but i think that would at most compete with it and decrease, not increase, clearance.

baffled

i seem to be pingponging but at least depression isn't part of it right now. just deep dark brooding states, and flatness iniitally with the zyprexa, but not now.

today mouthed off endlessly at coworkers, strangers on the subway again....

now watching pride and prejudice wonder if i can sit through it this time already mssed the beginning got home late.

~ waves ~

Waves

I'm glad it didn't bother you. I honestly didn't think it would or I wouldn't
have posted it. But later worried.

But I really still think very highly of this medicine. Just not for Derrick.
Its like when I worked very hard to talk the docs into letting him
go on trileptal. Now I'm binding my time, and when he has been seizure
controlled for a little longer. And the doc starts talking about reducing
a medicine again, its going to be the trileptal.

And I can tell you right now. I'm going to be one happy camper.
I hate the fact that he take 2400mg a day of this stuff.

He is maxed on all three of his seizure meds. But this one I am pretty
sure. Even though none of his docs would admit that he is over.

Donna:grouphug:

sigh.
 

pdoc wants me to take 800mg of Depakote a day, plus the mig of benzo i reduced to, plus 10 mg of zyprexa. i took 500 mg of depakote a couple days and in fact one day it was only 250mg by accident (got confused between 1 pill and 1 gram, and took half of a 500mg pill... yes my math IS being affected).

i am having trouble doing things... finding words sometimes especially when not speaking english - i lost my second language somehwat from years away but still, it is a native-level language... should not be happening.

right now tried to work on bus schedules, kept getting distracted.

i wanna say i'm over medicated, but then when i took less, i started to reve up again - and the concentration sx happen then too, oh and racing thoughts happen in spells even now...

i do not know what to do.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
I'm sorry that this really stinks. :confused: :(
You've explained that if the meds for hypo stuff are too high, the work is affected and you even have real concerns about the commute (don't feel like editing my writing right now :eek: ).


He wants you on
800 mg of Depakote a day,
mig of benzo i reduced to,
plus 10 mg of zyprexa.

(Helps me to write it out like this.)

You explained here that you are under medicated in some ways. This combo, no matter what he does with the doses does not seem to be working.

If you were starting from scratch, would you come up with a different mix?

I think (not sure) that some pdocs would be ok adding a new MS / AP but keeping doses of all the above fairly low. . . . just a thought.

Once you get stable for a week or two or three, is it your expectation that you could go back to more "workable" doses?

I hope you have a restful night tonight.

M.

how are you sleeping? maybe if he increased the zyprexa and left off the extra benzo that would helpwhat are you going to take tonight?
I am sorry there seems to be no quick fix to this.
at least you are staying out of the hospital! and some how making it to work........hang in there be patient with yourself.
bizi((((HUGS)))))

Dear Bizi

i am sorry. i think this must be very confusing to follow.

there is no "extra" benzo. the benzo i have on board is a long-acting one i took nightly, well before he zyprexa was added. it is very long acting. when i increase it it can help me sleep but it is not terribly sedating.

i sleep about the same as before with the difference that i am groggier for longer in the morning, but in the evening i actually get sleepy so it's easier to go to beds.

when he added the zyprexa he also had me take 2.5 mg lorazepam (on top of everything) and thats when i went to work at two pm the following day, so i didn't continue with the lorazepam at night since and messaged him as to what happened. not only that, i reduced my regular benzo already, to 1mg instead of 1.5 as it was before zyprexa.

BEFORE ZYPREXA:
1.5 mg longacting anxiolytic (benzo)
up to 150mg zoloft (d/c'd that rather fast when it became clear i was getting manic... should have d/c'd before it was "clear")
0-1000mg Depakote ER (ramped up rather fast, coz i got manic)

ON ADDING ZYPREXA:
1.5 mg longacting anxiolytic (benzo)
1000mg Depamote ER
2.5mg lorazepam oral
10mg Zyprexa

the next night due to sleeping through half of a day:
1.0 mg longacting anxiolytic (benzo - and have kept this stable since then)
500 mg Dekpotke ER
10 mg Zyprexa

i have since gone up and down on the depakote in an effort to kill bad energy while not becoming a total incompetent numbskull.

last session he said to stick to 800 on the Depakote.

as for the Zyprexa he auth'd me for 20 mg, but i think he wrote it as 10 + 5 + 5 so i can do 15's if need be, but also can increase to 20 if need be. :(

i am already seeing weight gain. :( i do not remember if it is dose dependent.

but with what i am eating what can i expect. i am eating things i do not normally go near with a 10 foot pole. i normally do not eat "junk food" - not sodas not candybars... sigh. my appetite and instincts are usually good guides and Zyprexa screws with them. i think the depakote had already started to do so maybe coz we ramped it up so fast.

moodwise i feel fed up cynical at times, others, kicky and irascible, loud, rambunctious, perpetually impatient and just labile in general (can go from being furious to laughing head off). and yet i feel dopey and dull - which doesn't reconcile with all the rest?

~ waves ~

hi oh sorry i forgot to answer this - i already took my meds - have to take them early so i can actually get sleepy at some point and then up in the morning even if i'm dopey.

tonight - and until i see my pdoc barring something strange:

800mg Depakote ER
10mg Zyprexa
1mg long-acting anxiolytic "regular" benzo

my regular benzo is about half as potent as Klonopin, but half life is 100+ hours so it builds up way more.

i have been trying to remember to take magnesium too and bvits. the mag should help sleep but also i have been having cramps in legs so i think i need it.
(((hugs)))
~ waves ~

thank you waves for spelling it out. the extra benzo was the 2.5mg of lorazepam am glad that you stopped taking that.
It sounds like you are having a mixed mania with agitation. not fun.
sorry my friend.
bizi

Not to point out the obvious, but his stupid meds are not working.
You are functioning, but not happily.


. . . . unless, this mix and dosage needs another week or so to settle you in. I'm not familiar with your meds. Can being on them a little longer improve your current mood issues?

M.

Dear Mari,

yes, it is possible that more time (and more consistency on my part) will improve things. i was a bit erratic with the Depakote last week, especially on the not taking enough side of things. i filled my pillminder up to my next appt so i don't screw up (i did at least once) and i will take those doses whether or not i feel like it.

i am still avoiding digital displays.

some history:

back in 2004, was taking:

• Zyprexa -10 mg (maybe 15? not sure)
• long-acting benzo prn ~0.5 - 1 mg every 2-3 days)
• Lamictal - 200 mg
• Zoloft 150 mg

differences between then and now:

• minus Zoloft (don't need an AD)
• minus Lamictal (doubtful it did anything maniawise, but regardless it is not an option at present, as the generics are no good and brand is too expensive)
• plus Depakote

another difference is circumstantial. i was not working - or not for long when i took the Zyprexa, so i wouldn't have had a problem with being groggy - i could just sleep.

~ waves ~