i feel that i am overmedicated in some respects but alsoo improperly medicated in others.

thursday night i took, as instructed:
1000 mg Depakote ER
10 mg Zyprexa
1.5 mg my usual benzo
2.5 mg + lorazepam.

i could not gain consciousness friday morning, even with various attempts by my folks to get me out of bed. my mom said i would occasionally talk back nonsense to her trying... anyway. i got to work at 2. my boss didn't seem to react much to my apology about lateness... later i overheard him tell someone he hadn't been there most of the morning. so i musta got real lucky in that department.

last night, i took all of the above minus the lorazepam after talking to pdoc.

i slept late and could not get going in general. i was tired and hazy all day. finally came out off zombie-land around 10pm.

in general - and i mean lately, before doc added the Zyprexa:
restless, uptight, angry, impatient, irritable, irascible, labile and did i say restless???
PLUS
real fatigued, sleepy, body feels broken top to bottom.

i have never been on 1000mg of Depakote + Zyprexa, while attempting to go to work, with this long a commute. at that time, i had zyprexa 15mg, zoloft 100 or so mg, the same long acting benzo, plus lorazepam as needed, and i still had to find time to get a lot of sleep. i don't understand why he wants to keep the depakote on board, not even reduce. i believe the zyprexa would do what the depakote was doing any way.... and then some.

tonight i took (of my own accord):

500mg Depakote (instead of 1000)
10mg Zyprexa
1mg my usual benzo (instead of 1.5)
no lorazepam

if i cannot shovel myself out of bed tomorrow with some effort and some help, i will suspend the zyprexa until thursday (i see pdoc) and rediscuss the issues.

because, the point is to go avoid going crazy, so i can keep my job, not to medicate my way out of it.

Gosh my expertise is not meds waves, Mrs. D usually has great info there, but I know I talked to a pharm rep in the doc's office of the zyprexra and how it knocked the energy and had dd talking gibberish to me. He admitted that it is a med that has to be tittered up slowly, like break down to 2 mg for weeks then to 4, etc. not sure if I have the dose right. but it was minuscule doses at first. I never had experience with depakote, but 1000 on top of the zyprexa sounds lik enough to make a horse over sleep and be out of it. I remember a grown man taking zyprexa 10 mg went to work and fell asleep on his fork lift.

It is a med that works but I certainly think it is worth reducing it down to nothing and building up over 6-8 weeks to the minimal dose to help symptoms and not make you a zombie.
Hope you feel better soon.
di

I think that what you decided to take sounds reasonable to me. that is a lot of benzo to take on top of the zyprexa but I feel that you needed to be brought back ...maybe even taking a few sick days this week to reel it in. I know that you don't want to miss more work when you have been sick from before.
You need to be really careful....
you are very vulnerable at this point.
I hope that you were able to sleep and rest this weekend.
know that I care
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dear Waves,

After two nights of the Zyprexa, you have enough info to know if you can continue. Maybe the pdoc will give you a baby dose when he sees / hears from you.

I hope the lowered Depakote helps you with waking up in the morning.

Yeah, this is confusing. You've been on the Depakote and yet still are uptight, angry, so on. Depakote should help with that stuff.
Is the fatigue from the Depakote?

=-=-

I like your idea for Saturday night and then Sunday night.
I hope your plan (or the alternate plan) works.

M.

HI. thank you all for the support.

Dear Di,

don't worry, i was not looking for drug information. i know plenty about Zyprexa, including interactions etc, and i have taken it before. I appreciate you popping in.

Dear Bizi,

i should have had the forethought, knowing both drugs, that the lorazepam would have been too much since. it doesn't enhance the AP action, only sedative part. you are right about sick time but there is no such thing with my contractual conditions. all that counts is present vs. absent and i've had too many absent already.

Zyprexa baby doses... no 2.5's here. i only have 10's at home. they are unscored but can be split "supposedly" (according to Lilly reps), and although they discolor they are "supposedly" safe. i am not comfortable with all these supposedly's and taking discolored cut pills. pdoc can rx 5's but won't get that till next week.

Dear Mari,

yes i think the Depakote is causing fatigue at 1000mg and also making me a bit "dull" ... mixed up words, can't add etc.

so i do think that Zyprexa 10mg + Depakote is too sedating and the longacting benzo surely contributes a little.

~ waves ~

Waves,
Do what you think is going to work best.
You have a good handle on what is going to work.

I send you good wishes for this plan.
M.

outcome of 3rd night (sat) is:

i heard my alarm after 8 hours sleep, and was able to turn it off and request coffee, which i drank mostly before falling alseep again. i had not planned to get up because i get sleep deprived during the week and always catch up on weekends. but i got up at 11:30 and only started feeling more alert around 1pm. that's better than yesterday!

my conclusion: the Zyprexa / Depakote seem mutually exclusive if i am to get to work. Since the Zyprexa covers same sx Depakote does plus AP sx, Zyprexa would be the one to keep for now.

since the Depakote has to be tapered, i am unsure what to do tonight. i've halved depakote before and ended up having sps... for 24 hours straight.... the addition of the zyprexa further lower sz threshold. so i might have to suspend the zyprexa while tapering the depakote, and then when it's low enough add the Zyprexa back in.

if that isn't possible, i'll just have to live with whatever my warped mind conjures up....

it is hard to discuss all this with pdoc on the phone because there are too many variables, and he is always rushed. i may just send a vague FYI via text message. then, he can call if he wants/has time to get into it.

~ waves ~ warping along

Thanks Mari.

We cross-posted... i am the perpetual editor... lol.



~ waves ~

>>so i might have to suspend the zyprexa while tapering the depakote, and then when it's low enough add the Zyprexa back in.<<

Waves,
This idea concerns me a little.
How about tapering the Zyprex while tapering the Depakote.
Can you take a mini dose of Zyprexa?

I think you took 500 depakote last night.
What will you take tonight?

M.

not sure yet. see how i feel. and if i happen to see any 911 sequences. i don't want to have szs, not even little ones. i halved the depakote for one night only, not as taper... it is a lot to chop off. i took of 1/3 off of my usual benzo dose too. so i have to think. and figure. and figures aren't my forte right now nor is figurin' for that matter... go figure.

~ waves ~