Hi everyone. I hope you don't mind me skooching in here.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 10 years ago. I will give more details eventually, but I am so derpressed I can't think of the details.
My depression usually comes on by itself and goes away when it wants to go away, but this time it was trigered by my rotten mean sister. she has in her head that she is going to call cps on me. she is older than me and has never been married or had kids...she is 42...still time to do those things of course, but the thinks she will never meeet anyone. Anyway, I think she is upset that she didn't do the marrying and having kids thing before me...not my prob...there was an incident this past thanksgivin (please forgive my misspellings and typos..i don't have the brainpower to fix it) ...anyway....my husband yelled pretty loudly at my 4 yedar old, both our kids belong 2 both of us. marcie didn't like it because the 4 year old is her favorite. he is 5 now. whatever...the next day she said she was going to call child protective services on us if we didn't go get parenting classes. like that is her business...he yelled at him! that's all!!! so anyway, i stopped speaking to her(and went to parenting clases ). while i wasn't speaking to her she said mean things about me to our other sister and my mom...she had no idea whyi was mad at her and the other sister told her that it's because she threatened me and M said "she should feel threatened!!!" and other stuff ....she said it would be child abuse if i kept my 2 sons away from her.
there is more stuff...i felt sorry for her so i started talking to her again about 2 weeks ago. i didn't find out about this above bull till yesterday.
anyway...i am obsessed with thinking about it and about a mean email that i want to write.
i guess that is all. i hope i wasnt too confusing.
I reread this and it sounds so stupid and childish. prob is, that i get crazy when something like this happens....i think about suicide...i fantasize about how i will do it. i know it seems like nothing, but it is huge to me. i feel like i need to tell her to f-off, but the she will say really horrible things and make me madder. i am so scared of how i will feel tomorrow. i cant stand thiw feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help!