[DiMarie]

Got the forum link Mari, thanks it has so much info.
I am hoping for nice weather, no rain, and not too humid. I was so excited about the trip for months. Worried about leaving older son and grandson home without contact. But, I wanted to have a once in a lifetime memory making trip...

For me I did buy two coverups. I have two nice bathing suits.

dh really did not care to go.
I am wondering why it ment so much for me to take the trip.....and means nothing to him, although he hates the shore, heat and sun...I did not tell him he had to go.
dd with her anxiety did not want to travel, especially that far, without daddy. So be a daddy and suck it up stop sulking.
On recent trips away, he knows how she can get anxious about being away from home. (I am not much better, but hide it)

You would think with our 20th anniversay coming up it would be a get away we normally could not take. We have been together 33 years though...instead he is scrooge and grumpy all in one.....

I am sad enough under the circumstances,

Wonder what the end result will be in two weeks...I know he really does love me. When we are driving and our song comes on he holds my hand and sings, but then minutes later if I ask if we can make a pit stop, he huffs and puffs,
With the water pills for BP I need to go when I need to go....
Well enough whining. This is not new behavior, just has gotten worse this year.(settlement money in my name)

One way or another I will give my children a nice trip. Even if it means he sits on board sleeping and drinking, while we do some budget excursions.

I will see what kind of help I get from him tomorrow for packing, making arrangements, get the car ready. All I asked tonight was to keep the luggage scale handy....he looked around at my packing disarry and screeched WHERE?
I took it off him and put it in my med bag....
Oh joy, what fun.....It is like this everyday...
Something better give, or the downstairs will look like a nice apartment for him to veg his self away.
If the romance can't be rekindled, then I need to make some distance between us.

[Mari]

Dear Di,

These are a lot of expectations for the trip. I hear you putting a lot of meaning into it.

This is one trip on a nice boat. You don't have to make it into a test with lots of pressure.

M

[bizi]

You have alot on your plate with this trip coming ukp.
I agree with mari, you are placing alot of expectations.
my only hope is that you create some good memories and have some fun with whom ever is there. Happiness is a decision and you get to decide to have fun. Your children will have fun with you. cruising can be a lot of fun.
I do remember drinking a bit and that was fun! no driving to worry about.
bizi

[waves]

Dear Di

i hear that the travel is stressing you out even if it is meaningful for you Di.

Maybe hubby is confused about the whole thing... like apart from not being into it himself, he is aware not only of your child's but your own anxiety more than you know and that is stressing him. the fact he has agreed to go is meaningful, if you ask me, but then i am partnerless, what to i know.

i am wondering here myself, are you making it into a test? ... for who... for hubby... your bond... or is it about you, about being away, about being free to do something you love and not let the anxiety win and keep you from it.

(((hugs)))

i hope you manage to get things all together, and to have a good time.

i have travelled a LOT, and i the prep is always the most stressful period. around my teens, i would get so hyped before a trip ... not necessarily anxious but... well just hyped, and kinda anxious... it became a given i would not sleep the night before. meaning i wouldn't even attempt to go to bed.
i also know ppl who stress over the actual checking in/out/gates/terminals etc .... that part i always enjoyed. it was packing that did me in - the DECISIONS.... arghhh. what if it rains, is cold, is terribly hot the whole time. abject fear of leaving something i just COULD NOT do without and COULD NOT replace at home.... it did happen with clothes/outfits from time to time where i was abroad and had an oh geez i needed the OTHER belt.....

one thing i always did was make an essentials list before - well before - day before - leaving:
passport
ticket
extra cash
credit card
atm card
keys

then i made another list that was more about personal needs - 1 change of clothes in carryon, etc...

the lists helped me both organize the process and not forget things. thoughts are transient. lists are cumulative. when i put something down in my head, it is forgotten. when i put something down on the list, it adds up with whatever was already there. they take pressure off.

and finally..................

just think about that cabin and the nice servers at the pool ready to bring you a pina colada while you soak up the sun....

~ waves ~ from the ocean blue

[Mari]

Dear Di,

I looked up free style. I like that you don't have set times and tables for dinner or for what you wear. Having to be at dinner at a certain time would stress me a little.

How long will you be on the ship? Have you done a cruise before?
I hope that you will have a good time. Being away from everything and out on the water is freeing.

Does your ship have phones in the room? A friend of mine recently went on a cruise. They could not use their cell phones and they had no phones to find each other on the ship. The ship offered a sort of walkie talkie for a price.
She did a lot of walking and climbing stairs because it took a while to get anywhere.
If you have already been on a cruise before then you know all this already.


M

[DiMarie]

Waves a test for me about the bond. I really deserve to be loved and people in my life to show they love me. Money can be evil and a lot of selfish expectations.

Mari, great list, no cruise before, freestyle by choice to be flexable.
Driving 2 hrs to Phila I am stressed to get back home.
yes to phones. I think I can leave a message in the cabin, or even on the door for the boys to meet up for a meal, and leave off the boat together.
As the two boys are 28 and 30, I better not suggest walkie talkies. They are certainly old enough to take care of their self.
They can't fall overboard, right?

Cell phone use is non exsistant or $$$. I can check email to make sure my son and grandson are okay at home. That is a lot of anxiety to be THAT far away. At least they are next door to my home to care for the cats.

But I AM going to have the time of my life....and pray that nothing disasterous happens. DGS has been having asthma problems, but it seems okay, he is out of school so they will not be driving much. I would feel better if they went, but we are trying to save for a trip to Disney.

[rachel's daugther]

Originally Posted by DiMarie

Waves a test for me about the bond. I really deserve to be loved and people in my life to show they love me. Money can be evil and a lot of selfish expectations.

Mari, great list, no cruise before, freestyle by choice to be flexable.
Driving 2 hrs to Phila I am stressed to get back home.
yes to phones. I think I can leave a message in the cabin, or even on the door for the boys to meet up for a meal, and leave off the boat together.
As the two boys are 28 and 30, I better not suggest walkie talkies. They are certainly old enough to take care of their self.
They can't fall overboard, right?

Cell phone use is non exsistant or $$$. I can check email to make sure my son and grandson are okay at home. That is a lot of anxiety to be THAT far away. At least they are next door to my home to care for the cats.

But I AM going to have the time of my life....and pray that nothing disasterous happens. DGS has been having asthma problems, but it seems okay, he is out of school so they will not be driving much. I would feel better if they went, but we are trying to save for a trip to Disney.

Cruise can be a lot of fun, have gone with my family a few times. the last time we went, my hubby and I were not on good terms. After dinner he would want to go back in the cabin. Kids were old enough and wanted to do their own thing. I decided I was not going to let his behavior ruin my trip. So I went to shows, casino, lounge by myself. Afraid at first but after the first night I have a good time. Met a lot of people and didn't have to worry if my husband was having a good time. A real stress relief. Have fun, relax, have a cocktail and enjoy yourself. Also, I never held it against my husband that he wanted to go in at night. We enjoy our days for the most part.

[Mari]

Dear Di,

Here are two more links.

One about safety:
http://www.cruisesavvy.com/savvyguid..._cruise_safety


http://www.cruisesavvy.com/savvyguid...rkation_advice

We strongly urge you to keep the following on you at all times (not in your checked luggage):

Medications, valuables and a change of clothes - just in case!
Non-perishable snack such as a protein bar. Delays always feels twice as long when you're hungry.
Passport and tickets. More than one cruiser has mistakenly checked these, causing no end of trouble.

Keep covered to project your self from too much sun.

You will have fun. It is great to get a way and do something different --- even if all the preparation for the trip feels like a hassle while you are in the middle of it.

M

[DiMarie]

Thanks Mari, I want to be so informed and not lost in decisions when we get there.
You guys are great, thanks for keeping me uplifted.

Rachels dd,
Thank you for the thoughts about having a good time no matter. There is so much activity and fun to be had, I should smile, laugh and have fun. As it is a charter with locals I am sure there will be group plans and friends made.

I looked dh in the eye tonight, gave him the various restaurant that are included, and he said something smart about the ones that are $10 - $25 if you choose them. I told him, that may be nice for one night.

Then he saw the Pizza delivary to the room for $5. said "that'll be him" I told him straight up, he better give me a good time. Replied, yea right.
So I reminded him it is a group trip we are not alone and there will be people that I can be with......
He is in picking out his outfits, left me to pack. Then went out for wings...I will never have laundry done and house work touched at this rate. I have 5 suitcases, 5 laundry baskets, some are donate, some trash, some iron and others we need to put away.
I had to work today, 90 months away and the person was a no show, long drive home alone. Got home, not a bit of house work was touched.
I swear, I will walk out this door and let it there until I come back. Let him be the first one in to be greeted.

Better get my butt going. At least get the kitchen and bathrooms touched up, see if they will scrub the floors tomorrow.

PS. doctor is out of town, I am in terrible back flare up. I can't even stand straight. So much pain walking. There is a clinic but not sure they can do trigger point inj.
Only days away now...
I am trying to find information getting from the ship to the beach or town,. Not sure yet to play as we go, or plan on an excursion, maybe to tour the town.
di

[bizi]

we did the ship excursions because I was chicken to go a bit down the road to pick up another agency's tour...we had fun but you pay more for the excursion thru the ship then on your own. since you will have a man with you you might want to bookon your own...wait till you are there maybe?
have fun!!!!!!!
bizi
sorry that your back is flared up...bad timing, rest tonight.