Thank you all for your words of wisdom and the emotional support. She is continuing to text but only for phone numbers for insurance and SS#. She is in more contact with her mother than anyone. Her father has decided to let go and to let her travel the road she is going to travel. He and I both will be here to help her pick up the pieces when this blows up and believe me if any of you talked to this bf mother you would know what I am talking about. It isn't so much that I want to control her, I want to help her get the help she needs to make a beautiful future for herself. I have never dealt with someone who had bipolar until her. I have been in her life for the last 14 years and she has progressivly gotten worse in her disease. She isn't on meds anymore and will not take them. She doesn't feel she needs them and we have to respect this decision of hers. Although she is so much better on them then off of them, we are going to respect her decision and take it one day at a time. Sometimes lately the texts she sends don't make any sense I can pretty much deduce what she is trying to say. She is 18 and it is very hard because I know she is not ready to face the grown up world as she believes she is. Her dr said since she started her meds so early in life that her mental age is not 18 it is more like 14, this does not make sense to me. She has been told and continues to be told that we are and always will be here for her and we will see where we go from here. I am back in classes again for summer session so I won't be posting as often as chemistry is kicking my butt and I have to spend most of my free time on studying. I will try to keep you all posted as much as possible and I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend.

Jen

Jen

You said, it She is 18.

We are hre when you have time. And will keep our prayers out there for her.

Donna

good luck in your studies, what are you taking?
bizi

I am studying for my bachelors in Nursing. 2 more years to go. I start my clinicals next spring.
She texted me yesterday and stated that she is very angry that we medicated her. When there is nothing wrong with her. She said she will never forgive us for putting her on meds, when it was the doctor that prescribed them. We never forced her to take them. I don't now what her frame of mind is and why she is so angry. She also stated that she doesn't know if she will be sstaying with her bf perm., or not. I don't know what else to do anymore, I told her we love her and will always be here for her but she said she doesn't believve that. I feel we have done all we can do and I try to keep telling her that we are here and we love her but she just keeps pushing that to the side and saying such mean and hateful things. Thank you all again. We willl be moving the middle of August to a house finally. We have been looking for a house in this area for about 3 years and finally found the one. We are going to sign all the papers today. I am quite excited. Well I will check back during the weekend, I have a chem exam to study for though so I am not sure how often I will be on. I do appreciate all of your kinds words, thoughts and support. Thank you.

Jen

hi jen, did you see donnas thread abou ther son? It was meant for you to read.
bizi
good luck studying.

Jen

First, just keep telling her you love her.

Also tell her its okay to be mad at you. Because you see as long as she is mat d at you, but talking to you. She still is confused about what she wants.
So just let her stay that way. And the part about not knowing if she is
staying with her bf family, I would guess its that the honeymoon period
there is ending. And she isn't as happy as she thought she was going to
be.

Just once during each time you talk to her. Remind her, that she is welcome
to come home. But you know with you moving. I am wondering has she
seen the new house?

Does she know were the house is? Can she get there on her own?

If she has never been to this house. When you get position, please see
if she would like to see where you are going to move.


Take both the boyfriend and her. Make sure his mom understands, though
ahead of time. That you just want her to know were you are moving to.

That way she wont think you are intruding on her territory hopefully. Its important that she know where your going to live.

She might try to return to were you were at.

Donna

donna, you are so wise and this is great advise...
love you
bizi

Thanks Bizi,

I had a friend who was moving. Who's child was bipolar. And when they were moving. For some reason. He thought just mom and dad were moving.
Even the other kids, might be moving. But because they hadn't asked or told him the they wanted him to come too. he was staying were he was at.
.
So he started having lots of problems the weeks before moving.
Till just out of surprise he said. Why can't I move with you?

They said, What you are going too. He was crying and so relieved.
That he wanted to go right over to the house to see his new room.
They had to ask the realtor to make arrangements, immediately. It
was that big a deal.


He didn't have anymore outburst, and stopped trying to run away.
Loved his room, and started planning how he wanted it to work.
Was still bi-polar of course, but handled it better.


They didn't have a clue till he blurted it out. They never made that mistake
to just think he knew again.

Donna

I just read it.. Thank you so much.

She has seen the house where we are moving. She knows where it is at. Here they have a career center for juniors and seniors. This year she will be a ssenior, she applied for a medical program, and the other day we got a letter saying she was accepted into it. I texted her and told her, she said she didnt care because she would be attending the school in her bfs area. She was so excited when she applied I thought for sure she would be excited to know she made it. This moring I read a post on her facebook to a friend that she needed someone to talk to really bad because she was having a meltdown, crying, stressing and didn't know what to do. I sent her a text telling her we love her and miss her. No response. I don't know what it was all about and I didn't want to tell her I saw it for fear she would delete me as a friend and I wouldn't be able to see her posts anymore. I know in my heart she is scared and confused but she is very headstrong and won't admit anything to me. Her mother, is mother of the year.. (sarcasim) and just keeps telling her she chose this and will have to make the best of it. She lives 1200 miles away and up until her daughter was 13 didnt treat her the best, because she didn't know how to deal with her. When she was 13 she called my husband and told hiim we had to take her or she was going to admit her to the psych ward until she was 18. All Bridgette has ever wanted was her mothers love and she still to this day doesn't feel like she has it. Bridgette and I have always had a closer stronger connection than her and her own mother.