It's very sad and I know all I can do is to keep telling her how much we love her. I hope she comes back before school starts so she can do this program at the career center because she is so good at medical classes. She excels in them and is excited to learn new things about the medical field. I know she isn't on her meds and I dont know if she is planning on taking them again. Her bf is recently graduated adn 18 himself, I don't think he is going to want her living there for much longer. He is used to having his own life and before this move he only seen her once a week for 12 hours. Everyday will probably straing thier relationship, maybe I am wrong but I would like her to want help and ask for it. Nothing we can do until then, except let her know we are here and we love her. Thank you all..

Jen
You are so right. Keep doing just what you are.

And I'm so glad that you didn't tell her you saw the text.
Keep working behind the scenes to try and help her.

If the next time she post a text like that. You can just kind
of happen to text her a I miss you. I'm thinking of you.

There would be nothing wrong with that. Letting her know that your
having some sad moments, because she doesn't want to spend even
a couple of hours with you.


That is what I would do.

I wasn't fortunate to have a daughter. But I have two daughter-in-law's
one that wants to be around me. One that I have to work to have
a relationship with.

I take the one out to eat and do things. Jumst because I want to.

And she likes that. We do things that we each want too.

The other one, I got told one christmas, by my husband, that I wasn't to
buy her any ceramic type dolls. She didnt like them.

This was the one thing I liked buying special for each of them. All she had to do was ask that I get something else. It kind of hurt.

But I honored her request. But after christmas, I poked a, just tell me next time when you don't like foods, or other things.

Donna

Dear Cherokee,

You are doing a lot for her by reminding her that you are there for her and love her. She will be back in time.

M.

Her mother called today and said Bridge called her 10 times this morning until she finally got up and answered the phone. (she works 3rd shift) anyway, I guess Bridge was an emotional wreck, she was hysterical and not making much sense. Said she didn't know where she needed to be, wasn't happy anywhere she was, and was afraid if she came home we all were going to be mad at her. I texted her after talking to her mom, who by the way is not a very caring individual to her daughter at all. She basically told her that she was 1200 miles away and couldn't do anything to help her. WOW. She told her she needed to call me and talk to me. She didn't call. My text to her said that we were not mad at her, she was not in any trouble, that we wanted her home and missed her and that we love her. She never responded to either of my text messages. I don't know what is going on, if everything is ok or even where she is. She hasn't been on her meds in over 3 weeks, so her cycling is getting worse by what I have gathered. It is only going to keep getting worse. I want her home but am not sure what I am going to get when/if she comes home. She has never been this long without meds in over 5 years. She has a history of cutting herself, saying she wants to kill herself, but hasn't tried anything on that side. I am at a loss because I am worried and don't know what she is really going through. She won't respond to anything and his mother won't talk to me either. When she does she is so mean and rude. So that option is out. I hope that she contacts me soon and I could seriously smack her mother for being so uncaring this morning. Why woudn't she have called me earlier, she waited 6 hours before telling me there was a problem. She talked to her at 7am and called me at 2 in the afternoon. I am so frustrated right now and worried. Thank you all for listening.

Hi,

She is going to be in contact with you soon.
Perhaps, keep your instructions in the text very simple. For example, tell her that you love her and have a place for her in your home.

Do you know how to contact her psychitartrist or therapist? You need an emergency plan in case she needs to go to the hospital.

M

Mari, is right...you need an emergency plan in place.
keep posting....
you are a wonderful caring mom to her...she will come around.
it is very hard watching her fall apart....keep your texts simple.

You know she could post here too if she wanted...there is another forum, psych central, our parent forum that has more posters, areas of concern...like there is a self injury forum or a more active depression forum.....we are very small but supportive of each other.We also have a chat room but that is not very active. psyh central has very active chat rooms if that is something she would be interested in. It also has a younger group of psoters if my memory serves me right.
bizi

Jen

Even though you are continuing to text her.

I would text her at 7am tomorrow morning. The same time she called her mom today. I also think her mom probably went to sleep, and then called
you.

When it comes to the bf mom. I would show up at that house tomorrow
morning to talk to your daughter. I would just tell the bf mom, that
you need to talk to her. And haven't been able to reach her.

Make up a excuse if you need to. There is nothing wrong with that. You
can always make up a reason, like something to do with the father.

Then I would take her and talk to her. I also think I'd just take her
home with you for a while. Let her decide, after a day or two what
to do. Unless she needs to go to hospital
Donna

I didn't need to text her today, she texted me then called me. We talked for 2 hours while she was crying the entire time. Telling me what a mistake she has made, and that her bf is cheating on her while she is there. She said part of her wants to come home but another part of her doesn't want to leave him. She said that is the part of her that always ends up winning. Her gma called and left her a msg the other day and she is suppose to go spend the next 5 days with her gma (her fathers mom) who just lives down the street from us. I told her that was perfectly ok and I thought it would be a good idea for her, which would get her some time to herself and away from both sides. I know she is afraid of telling his mom she wants to come back but I told her that her father would take care of that when the time came. I told her we love her adn are here for her and we were not going to push her to make any decisions. That the decision is going to be hers. I think is also is afraid if she leaves that his parents will be mad and she won't be able to see this boy again, which in my eyes she shouldn't want to seeing that he is cheating on her while she is there. She doesn't seem to see things the same way others do. In her eyes it is everyone else's fault but his. Anyway, I don't know if she is going to have us come pick her up tomorrow or if she is going to change her mind. Only time will tell and I will keep you all informed. I told her thank you for calling me and reminded her again that I would always be here to listen and offer advice if she wants it. I wn't push her in any way shape or form. I told her her dad and I love her very much and only want what is best for her and that we were here for her. His mother took her and bought her a cell phone, so now she is worried about that as well, paying her back. I also guess his mother in the span of 3 weeks had changed her addy and her family doctor. Which I also explained that if she chose to come home all of that could be fixed. I told her not to worry about anything except what she wanted to do. I left it at that. I told her I love her and she said it back and we finished the call. By the time we hung up she wasn't so emotional and had stopped crying. I hope that it was a step in the right direction and she continues on this path. I just want her home.

sounds perfect, you are a good mother to her.
thanks for keeping us informed.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi
does she have a low self esteem? it kind of sounds like she is alittle codependant on this guy....a therapist can help her build herself up but that takes time....
you are doing great....stay strong.

Jen

She hasn't figured out yet what a gem of a mom she has. But one day she will. But she does know how much you care. If she didn't she wouldn't have called you.

You are doing a fantastic job letting her know you are not only there.
But will do what it takes to get her out of that house.
I think personally that is what she needs the most. And when it comes with the cell phone, if she is getting a SSI check she will have the money to pay it back. So if she should bring that up again. Make sure she realizes, that
she has money to give back to the mom for the phone. But honestly
its not her fault the mom did that.


And your so right that changing back the doctor is not a problem.

I'm personally very proud of how much she is trying to take the right steps to come back to your family. It would be a perfect one to go to the GMA for a few days then deside to go back home.


Just keep up the good work. She will get back to your loving daughter.