Could you get out of the house and walk/jog in the neighborhood?this would help with your restlessness/ You could wear those ear plugs so you would just have the visual distractions to deal with.
Some fresh air would also be good for you. What is your weather like today?
bizi

i don't think so... the earplugs don't plug everything.
believe me screaming kids in the park are louder than what earplugs can plug.

i can't stand a lot of things. the cars going by will bug me. people going by. movement around me. even the light is too much - i have the shades partly drawn and even my parents have finally "got" i think from my bark-withdraw, bark-withdraw behavior that I AM A MESS so they didn't attempt to open them more than what little i did.

i want to go in a convent. only problem is i'd have to find one first - too hard.

a psych ward would still have too many uncontrollable stimuli, and i can't pay for a room, so i'd be in a ward with others..... waaaaaaay worse than at home.

i really want an "off" switch ... that i could somehow turn on again now and then to "check" if i'm ok enough yet.... sigh.

~ waves ~

wow, you sound terrible. I am sorry.
when do you see your pdoc/tdoc?
hugs to you my dear.
(((((gentle HUGS))))
bizi

thanks Bizi

i see pdoc/tdoc tuesday, probably for the last time. i will make clear to him i can't pay any more. then, we'll see. right now, in this shape getting to his office going to see him is an ordeal -- 1 hr 15 mins into/through the city is way overstim and he has already said he can't give me anything else or made other types of suggestions.

i just drank about 3 beers-worth. the last part was a liter one we tried and didn't like it.... i drank most of that because i started to feel better........

better is good............ but not in a good way, if you know what i mean.

~ waves ~

I'll drink to that!

Awwww, thanks Bizi!

right now i AM STILL drinking.... good ol H20 though, in desperate attempt to rehydrate - am already feeling mild headache onset so i need to really push the water now. i know from experience, if i drink enough water for long enough, i will not end up with a monster headache. sigh.

unfortunately i cannot repeat this "temporary cure" of drinking beer tomorrow. and besides it was NASTY beer. blekhh.

but we'll see how tomorrow is. at least i got a sort of "break" tonight.

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~

waves, mind if I 'chime in' here?? Music can be very soothing, energizing, calming, well, let's just say it's good for alot of things. One of the things that my DH missed the most being hospitalized was not being able to listen to music. I don't think any of you here know this, but he is what I lovingly the 'world's oldest hippie'... he started getting the magazine Rolling Stone practically at it's inception, and still has a subscription today. He loves all kinds of music, very eclectic tastes, and had quite a HUGE collection of CDs, we're talking hundreds and hundreds. And, believe it or not, I was a Music Major in college. I was a singer, classical mostly, opera, etc. I was in many operas at my college - Indiana University, where they have the world's largest, and famous School of Music. Also, we had an eBay store selling CD;s, cassettes, and, yes, even records. All of that was lost in the fire, including, of course, his and my music collections. He wasn't able to listen to any music at all for three months. We had his music blaring last night, and he welcomed that!! He also used to play guitar, and I bought him a new one; now we just have to tune it up. He really wants to get back into his music!

So, getting back to EXERCISE, have you ever heard of or seen ZUMBA? My sister takes a class in it, and I've seen on my cable guide that they have a Zumba Class on TV also. She said doing that really makes you sweat... We have vowed to try to stay in shape an, to that end, I have already purchased a motorized treadmill, which is set up in our basement. Now all we have to do is get down there and start using it! I also purchased an exercise ball, which I used a lot when I had Rehab after my back surgery. I really enjoy using that!

On a different note, it's terrible that you won't be able to continue with your pdoc because of money - what are you going to do instead? Is there a Health Center or Clinic with a sliding scale? I don't think I ever had a chance to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your job.... that must have been a big and shocking blow.

Try to keep up with the dancing!! I am not very co-ordinated when it comes to dancing, but it sure is great exercize and keeps your spirits up!