Today during quiet hours, while dad was asleep, i put on the long-wired tv headphones, and danced.

i didn't last long.
i didn't time myself, but these are the songs i did:

I Love Rock & Roll by Joan Jett & the Black Hearts
Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf
Games Without Frontiers by Peter Gabriel

i had to re-start Magic Carpet because i got interrupted... i'm guessing i did 12 minutes tops ... i need to work up to at least 20 without getting a stitch!

i didn't mess around though - i mean, i moved.

now we'll see if i can manage a repeat performance 3-4 times a week. it will take that much to make a difference.

-------------------------

this is dual purpose. it isn't just to get fit..........

exercise is the only antidepressant i can tolerate at this juncture. and i don't (won't) go out of the house.

~ waves ~

Those old rock n roll songs just get moving too, I should try that every day.
regular exercise just isn't as fun as some good old semi loud rock or even some country songs that just have a really good beat.

good for you waves!!!! I am off site getting my car looked at my main battery pack light came on....not good. am waiting t osee what it is wrng with it and if it will have to be replaced like 4 years ago. so I am at honda. the key board is at the level of my shoulders not good ego. not good for my wrist. pecking with one finger is very slow.....
keep dancing and stay safe please.(((((((((hugs))))))

thanks Jo and Bizi for your replies. (((hugs)))

i am hitting new depths of depression after reading the rest of the threads this morning.

it's like what am i even doing here anyway.

i need the squashed-like-a-bug mood.

~ waves ~

Hi, Waves,
I didn't read the other threads. . . . . stopping by this one as I get ready for work.

I want you to know that I've been hoping to see you do some exercise. Getting into yourself physically is a great way to find your voice you mentioned. I'm excited for you that you found a way to exercise without going outside.
Your goal of doing three songs three or four times a week is wonderful.

M.

Thank you Mari!

3 songs ultimately won't be enough of course... but i will step up gradually. the 3 or 4 times a week i think is the more important part for now.

today the parents left well before quiet hours so i took the opportunity to sing/play instead. i sat for some but did others standing/moving (Wicked Game and Lolita). sing + guitar + dance/sway = decent energy output + breathing discipline.

considering how little i did though... i can still feel my arms... like LEAD BRICKS! perhaps after i build up the dance time, i'll add wristweights to help strengthen my arms.

i had a different problem a couple of times too. a couple lines hit me out of the blue like a knife in the gut and i stopped cold in a flood of tears. i mean, i've gotten teary while performing before, but could usually channel it back through the music. this was different... it was poignant and ripped me OUT of the music. it was weird.

i dunno. it may just be that today i am feeling really really bad. i felt bad from the get-go and have been feeling worse and worse.

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i also realized that space where i dance could possibly accomodate some yoga. the nice thing is it's off to the side and partitioned off by a low table, a chair, plants boxes and ... general mess. so i just have to buy myself a proper mat for that and/or just stretching. winter is coming.
-----------------------------

thanks so much for your encouragement on this. i really can use it.

i hope you have a good day at work!

~ waves ~

I have mixed emotions from your post waves. happy for you that you were able to dance and sing and play guitar..I think that you are so passionate about your music that it is a release too...you are probably grieving over the loss of your job and also the trauma that you have endured.I understand your crying.....
wish I could give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Bizi

yeah... probably... and actually there's a lot more happened recently i can't even post about that probably contributed to the job "loss."

i will say, before moving to europe, i used to sing pretty much daily. so i got that release... daily. prolly never got as "pent up" as i am now. well that makes sense! thanks for helping me figure that out! but i never thought it could get to this point!!! i'm gonna have to fix this somehow. dancing will be good but it won't replace singing/playing.

hey, now i remember one of the lines that blew me to bits:

pushing through the darkness
still another mile <--- that's what did it

hmmm. a reflection that i just couldn't make it another inch in that job? wow. looks like you pegged that one, too! and you didn't even know the line!!!

btw the song is by Abba - "I Believe In Angels." not sure what started me playing it either. it's not one of my covers ...



~ waves ~

more hugs to you today dear waves.
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
bizi

All the best of the best.

I love dance. If I can get the right movement & really hear the music (groove & move... )it's an absolute high, good as any drug I've had.
And no side effects. Yeah.

I hope while you're moving & dancing things get sorted for you. I wish you could find a place you love to just go & be...but short of that I see you're succeeding in finding times to shape your environment. Good for you.

Like everyone here I'm pulling for you & not a single qualifier on that.