Dear BlueCarGal,
Congrats on the 18 years!
You went through so much.

M

Thanks, girlfriend, but we all have .

Thank you in confiding to us.
that took real courage.
you are probably stronger than you think. I know with medical assistance you can do this.
keep in touch
we are here,
we are listening
bizi

Thank you , you guys. I cry at the care you show. I feel so much better when I share hard times with you guys.
I am going to start with my Pdoc...do you think that's the way to go?

I have to get off these. See, with the vicodan, I am tapering off and I had been asking for lower miligrams and lower doses on my own for months now....then the hubby's meds come in the door and take over my entire thinking...I hoard them...taking them little by little. I am out of control, but as I was tapering off the vicoden well! I was so glad and I frigged it all up! OK, I need to take action now. I can do it...I just have to explain to my husband about whats going on. He understands no mental illness. Get this one! It may give you a giggle....he says, "It's all in your head"...um DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course it is!!! Haven't you been listening? Sheesh.
This is going to be so hard. I think the hopstital stay might work...anyone you guys know have a hospstay to wean off pain pills?

I am rooting for you.
bizi

Hi,

The hospital stay will depend on one of your doctors sending you there. That's my thought anyway.

M

Dear CBlue,

Wow, you already started a taper on your own .... successfully!!! that shows you have a good stock of willpower up your sleeve! KUDOS for that. it will make this process easier. ok, so then a a whole new stash showed up and .... BOOM!!! ack! the fact that drugs enter the household via hubby and then just "sit there, beckoning," makes your situation particularly hard. hoarding is another psych addiction st.

i think you will really need a rehab program - inpatient - because as i see it you need a "safe" place where there IS NO AVAILABILITY, while you get through the rehab process.

And yes, your pdoc will be the place to start. tell him the whole deal as you have done with us.

a rehab program should do two things:
1. get the drugs out of your system, physically
2. teach you to reprocess cravings and avoid cavings.

i would be sure to talk to your pdoc, as well as the therapists wherever you go to be treated, about the fact that your husband is prescribed pain pills, and so you are likely to have an available source - especially since he doesn't take them. i don't get why he picks them up if he doesn't want them and you may be able to persuade him not to do that. but if at some point he does have to use them himself, YOU need to be prepared.

i am sorry your hubby does not understand mental illness. addictions are also really hard to understand for some people. especially "all in your head" kinds of people.

after you are out of rehab, i would also encourage you to seek a support group especially if you still have cravings and themoreso if your hubby still keeps pills around waiting to expire.

we are always here of course. i apologize for my (typical) longwindedness.

take care and keep us posted.

waves

I made a mistake...my husband threw out the rest of his pills once I told him about my problem....he said he will never get them again. He dosen't know anything about addicition or anything...he never thought I would ever take them.
I went to my psychologist today...I told her all...she gave me some names of some out patient facilities. I left a message at 1 today.
Right now I am scared of the thought of inpatient.

Thank you waves!

CBlue,
I just am thinking out loud as if I were talking to someone in my family asking about past experiance.
Sometimes it is a person is drug dependant due to pain and needs a good pain management person, then the others may have addictive personality.

When I knew my drug dependant daughter was seeking stonger medications, I knew she was in pain, but the medications were becoming her life.
We addressed it with the doctor that took care of her medications and he did a taper down of the meds, oxycotin and perscribed valium for the side effects.

This was a strong supportive family doctor. We did try to get her in a program to detox, but even the programs that were geared to the street addicts on court ordered treatment did not have openings. It was in her records that she detoxed under home care and new pain management was in place. The new pain doc tried methadone which is used for drug abuse patients as it was inexpensive and did have excellant pain management. But, he liver could not handle to dose.

The oxycotin would never be persctibed again because of the terrible addiction side effects.

There is a medication suboxen that will address the pain, and the addition. BECAUSE it does NOT have the addictive proprieties of the other opiates.
If you have a family doctor that perscribed the Vicodin, and can address your comcerns that it is having an addictive quality with you, and would like to withdraw from it safely.
Then see if he knows of the use to suboxen and/or a doctor that could oversee your management.

If this can be done in a medical way there nothing in your file for any future need of pain issues if you have a need. BUT if you feel that this plan is not aggressive enough and need impatient then that is the route is you need and how wonderful for you to address your health now.

Getting addicted to Oxycotin, even at 10mg is a serious thing, and withdrawal can be terrible. You health is so important Cblue.