maybe you can muster up some courage to ask your friend out to eat for thanksgiving....sending some courage thoughts your way.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Bobby,

i hope you work up the courage to ask your neighbor if she is free Thanksgiving so the two of you can go out to dinner. you can't lose anything by it. there is no shame in asking. if she's not free she will assume you'll make plans with someone else. ask early... like now.

the store that sometimes carries ethnic goods on certain weeks had another special where they have cheddar cheese. i went through half a slab in two days. i am hoping they come up with cranberry something or other for Thanksgiving too.

even though it isn't celebrated here, we often vaguely observe it with turkey something if i am home to eat, which i will be this year. if i have the energy maybe i can actually cook a semi-traditional meal. they are a bit bah humbug about the thankfulness bit i have us do at the table, so i might have to muster some courage too.

love

~ waves ~

i asked my neighbor and she said she wasn't sure since she was planning on going upstate for a few days. she said that she might go and then just go upstate on friday. i told her to think about it because a lot of times she does things she doesnt want to do.
Waves that would be nice if you could make a thanksgiving dinner with some trimmings. I don't know how popular turkey is where you live. I love cheddar cheese and cranberry muffins.
Bizi are you going to make another turkduken(sp)?
Love
bobby thanking you two for the encouragement
I am wondering how many of us start out the morning very depressed and as the day progresses we feel better.

my parents were going to come here for thanksgiving, but have canceled due to my Dads surgeries coming up. So I don't think we are going to do a thanksgiving dinner this year, probably volunteer to help feed the homeless which is a huge event at our local out reach center. WE have done this in the past and it is very rewarding.
Good for you for asking your neighbor!
Maybe she can give you a more definite answer sooner than later.
love bizi

Dear Bobby,

I wake up in the morning feeling ok and having hope. As the day progresses I get depressed. . . . .very strange

I hope you and your friend will enjoy Thanksgiving together.

Hubby and I have no plans for Thanksgiving except I hope we go to the beach sometime that weekend. We missed the beach around the time of my birthday in the summer due to rain. Each time we scheduled the beach we got rain. (Summer rains are usually in the late afternoons. In the Winter we get much less rain.)

M

Dear Bobby

that was thoughtful of you to give your neighbor time to reflect fully. i hope she decides to join you for dinner on Thanksgiving though. i'm real proud of you for taking the chance and asking her. :hug::hug::hug:

when i'm depressed [right now i'm in a Zoloft-induced no-man's land between depression, becoming ok gradually, or a possible manic switch], i have the tendency wake up feeling awful and improve somewhat as the "day" progresses. however my definition of "day" is non-standard because my night owl tendency also tends to assert itself strongly at such times.

for instance i'd wake up in the afternoon, or even around dusk, stay up all night, and go to bed right after sunrise....

up with the moon and down with sun!

love

~ waves ~

Sorry I missed your birthday....
happy belated birthday!
bizi

I am sorry i missed your birthday. when was it? that is interesting that you wake up okay and as the day progresses you get depressed. is that before or after classes. is that when you start worrying about sleeping? I wake up with a feeling of dread each morning. then Pudge wants to be petted and gradually the dread lessens.
bobby

I thought your other post showed that you were manic. You have been having such a hard time. I wonder if you sleeping pattern has anything to do with your need for privacy. I have been doing something awful. I get ready for bed at four o clock and watch cnn til i fall asleep at about 11. sometimes i fall asleep much earlier. I have little motivation. I read mostly during the day. If only i could get myself to start exercising a little. I usually now do two crossword puzzles a day.
Love
bobby

Wow bobby! good for you for doing the crossword puzzles. I am amazed at that. I could never do them...I can't play word games either I don't have a good vocabulary nor can recall information, I am sure I have a low IQ.
Are you going to the center for lunches still?
hugs to you today
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi Mari
 

What beach are you near Mari? I am near Tampa Bay. just curious as I love the beach too. cold here today, better for sitting around a camp fire. ginnie

Dear Bobby

not sure which post you mean, but it takes a week of full "upness" to be considered manic, unless there are psychotic sx. i was not even fully euphoric. if i get manic it is a lot higher than i was. i don't always talk about all the sx on the board. my concern was that i was very suddenly on the flip side of depression, and by a lot. however, the day after - which was yesterday - i was tamer and mood quality was low. later i think the confrontation with my dad contributed to a really bad mood and thoughts of death again today after he became passive aggressive and manipulative. anyway. this is a situation. this will pass.

mostly no, but here, yes. the "natural" night pattern i related referred to when i lived alone so privacy was no issue. living here, i do prefer the night because of the privacy also, but the "natural" tendency to invert night and day completely is thwarted, because daytime sleep is disturbed repeatedly by light and sounds. so if i go off the "civilized" night-sleep schedule my sleep ends up all over the map.

yuck. how can you stand news? i find it really upsetting. i stay away from it as much as possible. i only hear what my parents expose me to unwillingly, and i try to blot it out every way. recently it is horrible because there is important stuff going on, and they turn it on in the living room sometimes, which is not my space. and then, they talk about stuff real loud... so i get it indirectly anyway. i used to like CNN so i could get like the basic gist of anything major going on in a single 15 minute shot, and then not watch news for aeons again. i have always hated news but it has got worse and worse. occasionally something will happen that i will actively seek information about because it feels relevant to me. for instance the recent death of a motorcyclist was that way. i don't want to know about wars and natural disasters and the media keeps mercilessly shoving the same information down one's throat... even use the same footage here sometimes. ugh.

i don't see a problem with an early bedtime. i am a bit concerned that the CNN stuff is not good for you. they repeat information also. could you watch something else? what about a good movie every now and then?

this is excellent! crossword puzzles are great brain exercise. i am good with word games but i get frustrated with crosswords. i get most of the way and then lose patience.

love :heartthrob:

~ waves ~ really tired today, even after coffee.

i didn't know it takes a full week before it is considered manic. All of a sudden you were in a very good mood. I am sorry you lost it. Was your father always the way he is now or is older age making him more difficult to get along with.
you are right about the news but i can't help myself. a lot of cnn is about politics and some about the economy. I dont like local news because it is more brutal.
Early this morning i was very angry. I usually don't allow myself to feel angry. It was awful.
Love
bobby

hello mymorgy
 

[I hate the news too. It makes me even more depressed. I also get angry at how things are. Right now I have on animal planet, better than the news any day. I still don't know if I am by polar. My pcp thinks so, those who live around me say no, but I have some wild mood swings. Hope you are doing OK today. ginnie

Dear Bobby,

I wonder what is going on with why the mornings are good and the nights are bad. I know that I hate the time near bed tim. The middle of the day if I am with my students I am usually (not always) fine.

That's good that your day gets better as it goes along. When you wake up I suppose you have something to look forward to.
Pudge is a sweet heart.

I admire people who can do crossword puzzles. I'm glad you have something you enjoy.

Regarding new: I never watch the local news. Well, I turn in at the top of the hour or about 20 mins after if we have a weather event. Sometimes hearing a local person explain weather is better than reading about weather on a web site.

M

I saw Dr M. yesterday and asked him about depression in the morning and he said it is more common. He didn't give a reason. today was the first day in ages i didn't wake up with dread. yesterday was a strange day. i had a early afternoon appt with him and didn't eat til i came home. then i got some licorice..a big bag. I have been craving it. then i ate two eggplant parmigiana
celentano...on friday i decided with my social worker that if i lost more weight i would become more active because i could walk further-sabotage?then i couldn't stay up for the republican debate. then i felt so rotten and had really wild dreams.
I guesss petting Pudge is something to look forward to. I never thought of it til you mentioned it.
bobby

What a relief to wake up to not having dread. Maybe this will continue?
Glad that you have pudge to love.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Bobby,
Do you watch the debates? There have been about a dozen so far with more to go. Sometimes I accidentally find a show like John Stewart or Morning Joe with highlights. I find watching debates can be really stressful.. . lots of tension in hearing the question, listening for the answer, . . . Then of course I get angry with the answers.

The Celentano brand of eggplant parmigiana is delicious. I think I might have had two as well. :)

You are probably not sabotaging yourself. One day here or there can still fit into your overall plan.

M

i try to watch the debates even though my only favorite is huntsman and he gets no attention. bachman sends me thru the roof. i don't know why i watch them. i guess i am just stupid.
i got on the scale this morning and i weighed two pounds more..........ugh. i have to watch it now. i had another bag of licorice. i just love licorice but i haven't had any sugar in so long. i have one more celentano eggplant and will try to wait to eat it. they are delicious aren't they?
bobby

where do you find them? in the frozen food section?
bizi

yes in the frozen food section
bobby

Bobby,
Enjoy the debates then. I can see why you might like them. I like Huntsman too. He's good looking, has class, speaks Chinese, . . .

I bought frozen eggplant last night after thinking about you, but I tried a different brand: Michael's. It was as delicious as the Celanto would have been.

M

eggplant parmesan
 

you guys are making me want to make eggplant parmesan from scratch.

but it is too much work for me right now. anyway, i would need to make modifications for other reasons also... not sure how i would work it.

well now, at least i have something positive on which to ruminate, don't i? ;)

~ waves ~

Waves,

My grandmother was a New Yorker who grew up with the native regional dishes of New York. This was one of her signature dishes. I don't remember the frying and I have seen some recipes that don't call for it.
I do remember her salting the slices of eggplant and letting it drain for a few hours. The she rinsed the salt off, patted dry the slices, . . . Her version seemed to me labor intensive. I've not tried to make it. I wonder if I could teach hubby to make it. When I first met him he used to make a dish with eggplant that called for the salt steps.

The quality frozen versions are pretty close to the restaurant versions.

M

the salt dealy is pretty much standard prep for eggplant anything, if you want to get the bitter taste out. the salt makes the water come out. then you can squeeze gently after it's let sit for a couple of hours.

as far as i know eggplant parmesan is first battered, then deepfried, then covered with tomato sauce and parmesan+breadcrumb mix and ovenbaked.

but i could be wrong OR there may be different regional versions - there certainly are for many other dishes.

sounds delicious!

i never knew about the salt. that is a big secret. one day i might try to make it from scratch. thank you
yesterday i found out one of my close friends is having health problems. it has to do with his heart. i am really upset. he wouldn't go into it.
bobby

Youtube recipe
 

Hi,
Here is a youtube recipe with no breading or eggs. The sound on this video is a little messed up but understandable.

Eggplant parmigiana - original Italian recipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZGF5JrTvug

Hubby used to salt and then weigh down the eggplant to drain like she does. A lot of liquid comes out of the slices.

(I actually don't mind the bitter taste of eggplant. I like it baked plain or cut up and put in soup.)

M

Dear Bobby,
I'm sorry about your friend's heart problems. If he chooses not to talk about them, you can let him know that you are his friend and that you care about him.
That is helpful when people are facing health challenges. Also, you know that you are sending prayers and good energy for him.

M

I am sorry about your close friend...I know that when are loved ones are sick, hurting, stressed, we feel badly for them. We want our friends, and family members well.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

he knows that i care about him. he was annoyed with himself that he told me what he told me. he is very independent and i don't think he wants to be reminded of it. i have been saying prayers for him. he is such an exceptionally nice person
bobby

You are an exceptionally nice person.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dear Bobby,
Maybe another time he will be ready to talk to you. You are good about talking and listening.

Otherwise, he is still your friend and is willing to you about other things.

M

hi
 

(((Bobby)))

i am sorry your friend is having heart troubles. i know it is hard not knowing what is happening. makes one feel so frustrated and helpless. it can also lead us to fearing the worst, when that is not always the reality of things.

perhaps he just needs some time to digest things his own before he can share. but whether he decides to or not i am sure he knows he has a good friend in you, and that it helps him to know you are there for him.

ultimately he did confide in you, just enough to he let you know that he is not ok right now. then it sounds like he had to retreat into his private emotional cave. i bet he feels really vulnerable. many men behave that way when they feel vulnerable. it is how most of us were brought up. even today, our culture mostly teaches women to express vulnerability and men to hide it.

love

~ waves ~

i made it through thanksgiving. i went out to eat with a neighbor and had pumpkin soup and a hamburg and french fries and two glasses of wine. she was so sweet and treated me because she knows of my financial difficulties. I sort of felt guilty. I knew she was going to treat me but i still didn't order turkey because i had it at the senior center this week.
this morning i woke up so depressed. then i called my friend who i have gotten my cats from. she had called yesterday but hadn't noticed the message. she was so sweet. she said we had to talk more often. that made me feel so good. my negative self had though of her recently and was afraid to call her since i had no news to tell her. she just hurt her back lifting a 25 pound bag of cat litter and she is petite. if you can believe it she is having a chiropracter's appointment at 11 pm on monday...his first open appt.
bobby trying to hang in there

I'm a total mess
 

Hello,
My name is Carol. I am a mother of a son who has bipolar, refuses to take meds. He is not living at home, but he is also a drug addict, alchol (sp) sorry user, and a thief. He stole $3800. from me then only to find out one day later he had gotten fired from his job...for...stealing. Oh, I forgot to tell you he is also a casino addict. The saddest part is is how smart he is...it is unbelieveable how smart he is if he would apply himself, but I belueve he is too sick to do anything right. Not an excuse but the reason. I am trying to find the strength to find my way thru this...do I let the law handle it? The medical system won't let me commit him and if he was threat to himself it would only be a 92 hr hold. Wow....I am his mother I am suspose to prtecthim...and yet the cycle keeps on going....I guess this is where the tough love comes in ..huh? I am a ACOA Adult Child of Alcholics x 2 both of my parents were. I am semi normal lol I have alot of issues of my own but all i want is my son to get well and yet afraid to make the wrong decision...what if he is in jail and gets victimized? Could I ever forgive myself..I doupt it. I don't know who needs help more me or him....I'm grasping for straws... grasping to stay alive because at this point to not be able to feel anything would be such a welcome.....tks for listening I've probley already said more than I should have. aka totallylost

Dear Bobby,

Yes. Keep hanging in there.

I appreciate hearing your about your Thanksgiving meal.


M

Hi Bobby

i am glad you guys went out for Thanksgiving, and it was nice of you to be modest about ordering.

How have you been doing?

i am starting to totally stress over ... the next holiday. not really thinking in terms of gifts but it is stress with or without ... major perpetual flesheating guilt if i don't, decision and indecision and social anxiety and crowds if i do. for now i am deferring while i work on my recurrent gift - a homemade calendar which has become sort of a tradition. that is a fulltime job for now anyway. but at least it is one i do sitting up in bed.

love and (((hugs)))

~ waves ~

you are so thoughtful and giving
fondly
bobby

thank you Waves
i don't know how i am doing. still waking up very depressed and then it eases. last night had a hard time sleeping. got about two hours. i am trying to worry less. trying to convince myself that everything is for the best and that helps me with control issues. that problem that i mentioned to you seems to have cleared up. I have been using flaxseed ground up and homeopathic nux vomica. that is a big relief if it continues.
pudge helps me with my mood because when i get up and make coffee pudge races in the kitchen and i have to pet her. she is such an adorable kitty cat.
she is so independent yet so lovable.
I only gained two pounds rather than three pounds but will try to lose them.
they sometimes have free good bread or muffins at the senior center donated by a great store when they are a day or two old. I will resist.
you are going from one stress to another. holidays can be the pits. i bet the calendar will be really creative. will it be a work of love? or a work of frustration? i don't think you know how to give yourself permission to give yourself a break and really care for yourself. it is really hard to care for yourself. i wish i could give you some advice on how to but i don't have a clue
love
bobby
ps i finally discovered R.E.M. now that they are breaking up. I have been listening to this a lot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k3mG6CBE9I&feature=fvsr i really love it