he knows that i care about him. he was annoyed with himself that he told me what he told me. he is very independent and i don't think he wants to be reminded of it. i have been saying prayers for him. he is such an exceptionally nice person
bobby

You are an exceptionally nice person.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dear Bobby,
Maybe another time he will be ready to talk to you. You are good about talking and listening.

Otherwise, he is still your friend and is willing to you about other things.

M

hi
 

(((Bobby)))

i am sorry your friend is having heart troubles. i know it is hard not knowing what is happening. makes one feel so frustrated and helpless. it can also lead us to fearing the worst, when that is not always the reality of things.

perhaps he just needs some time to digest things his own before he can share. but whether he decides to or not i am sure he knows he has a good friend in you, and that it helps him to know you are there for him.

ultimately he did confide in you, just enough to he let you know that he is not ok right now. then it sounds like he had to retreat into his private emotional cave. i bet he feels really vulnerable. many men behave that way when they feel vulnerable. it is how most of us were brought up. even today, our culture mostly teaches women to express vulnerability and men to hide it.

love

~ waves ~

i made it through thanksgiving. i went out to eat with a neighbor and had pumpkin soup and a hamburg and french fries and two glasses of wine. she was so sweet and treated me because she knows of my financial difficulties. I sort of felt guilty. I knew she was going to treat me but i still didn't order turkey because i had it at the senior center this week.
this morning i woke up so depressed. then i called my friend who i have gotten my cats from. she had called yesterday but hadn't noticed the message. she was so sweet. she said we had to talk more often. that made me feel so good. my negative self had though of her recently and was afraid to call her since i had no news to tell her. she just hurt her back lifting a 25 pound bag of cat litter and she is petite. if you can believe it she is having a chiropracter's appointment at 11 pm on monday...his first open appt.
bobby trying to hang in there

I'm a total mess
 

Hello,
My name is Carol. I am a mother of a son who has bipolar, refuses to take meds. He is not living at home, but he is also a drug addict, alchol (sp) sorry user, and a thief. He stole $3800. from me then only to find out one day later he had gotten fired from his job...for...stealing. Oh, I forgot to tell you he is also a casino addict. The saddest part is is how smart he is...it is unbelieveable how smart he is if he would apply himself, but I belueve he is too sick to do anything right. Not an excuse but the reason. I am trying to find the strength to find my way thru this...do I let the law handle it? The medical system won't let me commit him and if he was threat to himself it would only be a 92 hr hold. Wow....I am his mother I am suspose to prtecthim...and yet the cycle keeps on going....I guess this is where the tough love comes in ..huh? I am a ACOA Adult Child of Alcholics x 2 both of my parents were. I am semi normal lol I have alot of issues of my own but all i want is my son to get well and yet afraid to make the wrong decision...what if he is in jail and gets victimized? Could I ever forgive myself..I doupt it. I don't know who needs help more me or him....I'm grasping for straws... grasping to stay alive because at this point to not be able to feel anything would be such a welcome.....tks for listening I've probley already said more than I should have. aka totallylost

Dear Bobby,

Yes. Keep hanging in there.

I appreciate hearing your about your Thanksgiving meal.


M

Hi Bobby

i am glad you guys went out for Thanksgiving, and it was nice of you to be modest about ordering.

How have you been doing?

i am starting to totally stress over ... the next holiday. not really thinking in terms of gifts but it is stress with or without ... major perpetual flesheating guilt if i don't, decision and indecision and social anxiety and crowds if i do. for now i am deferring while i work on my recurrent gift - a homemade calendar which has become sort of a tradition. that is a fulltime job for now anyway. but at least it is one i do sitting up in bed.

love and (((hugs)))

~ waves ~

you are so thoughtful and giving
fondly
bobby

thank you Waves
i don't know how i am doing. still waking up very depressed and then it eases. last night had a hard time sleeping. got about two hours. i am trying to worry less. trying to convince myself that everything is for the best and that helps me with control issues. that problem that i mentioned to you seems to have cleared up. I have been using flaxseed ground up and homeopathic nux vomica. that is a big relief if it continues.
pudge helps me with my mood because when i get up and make coffee pudge races in the kitchen and i have to pet her. she is such an adorable kitty cat.
she is so independent yet so lovable.
I only gained two pounds rather than three pounds but will try to lose them.
they sometimes have free good bread or muffins at the senior center donated by a great store when they are a day or two old. I will resist.
you are going from one stress to another. holidays can be the pits. i bet the calendar will be really creative. will it be a work of love? or a work of frustration? i don't think you know how to give yourself permission to give yourself a break and really care for yourself. it is really hard to care for yourself. i wish i could give you some advice on how to but i don't have a clue
love
bobby
ps i finally discovered R.E.M. now that they are breaking up. I have been listening to this a lot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k3mG6CBE9I&feature=fvsr i really love it