[Mari]

Hi,

The power went out for 90 mins around 11:30 pm. I was watching tv. Hubby was using his laptop in another room.

Things didn't go well between the two of us when the lights got cut.
me: Are you ok?
him: Silence followed by cursing about the computer on his lap and a rant about something he was working on for tomorrow.
and so on.


Later he calmed down.

I want to call in sick tomorrow because I am upset ---- but tomorrow is important in some ways.

M.

[waves]

Dear Mari,

you can play it by ear. when it is time to go to work, see how you feel.

if you are still upset, or haven't slept enough due to being upset... etc... you get to call in sick.

otherwise, you might feel ok/good about going in to work and dealing with whatever the important stuff is. it might even help you detach from what happened at home.

i am sorry hubby behaved in such a rotten manner toward you when the lights went out!

sending lots of ((((((( HUGGS )))))))) your way.

and good vibes, and soothing thoughts, too.

~ waves ~

[bizi]

take care of you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bizi]

how are you?
thinking of you tonight.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[DiMarie]

Sorry to hear that dh issues becane a stress for you Mari. Difficult when it is not us, but his flipping out was not your doing. The pain came from directing neg, emotions in your home to affect you. Not fair....
Hope your feeling better and he can realize it was as if he was physically violent energy to you.
Hugs
Di

[Mari]

Hi,

The next day he went shopping. When I came home from work Monday at 9:30 pm, I saw that he had bought lots of batteries, a flashlight, a new iron, back up toner for my printer, . . .

He's still not ready to talk about what happened, which is just as well as far as I am concerned. I don't have time to deal with his stupid stuff.

The pattern is usually that a few days later we talk about how he felt that I blamed him for the lights going out, . . . how I felt that he attacked me for blaming him, . . .

He needs serious talk therapy.

M

[bizi]

YIkes...I hate conflict and avoid it almost at all costs. not good I know.
bizi

[mymorgy]

you seem to live between a rock and a hard place at home. i wonder if you stay up all night because that is the only time your home becomes your sanctuary.
fondly
bobby

[Mari]

I am feeling that I am under sooooooo much pressure.

[DiMarie]

Gee Mari,
I am sorry that you had the added stress. I don't know if it is a type of male cave man personality or what, but mi espouso could have been saying the say things as a response.

It makes it difficult to heal cutting unjustified words. I swear I have the silent treatment, the reverse blame, "blame me, its my fault, I shoulda woulda coulda."
Dang can't our long time life partners just get through a crisis with a little rational make do with things?

I did have some turn around last Weekend, we ran out to a social club, just for an hour or two that had music. While we sat there, a gentleman came over to ask me to dance. I declined explaining my back injuries prevented me to enjoy. I could not tell him, yea, do I want to be treated like I did something wrong and get punished.

DH had just gotten done saying how foxy I was looking in the top I had on, that it was really flattering....Well, after the guy came over, dh said "If it were me and you came in with your husband, I would be asking you to dance too!"

My hair has gotten very long, and very light. I color the gray a sandy blonde color and it is almost to my waist. It goes below my elbows. For the first time ever it is this long. My De and Kt would grow their hair long, so now Kt and I do.

So the dh was playing with my hair lifting it from my coat when I put it on, opened the car door when we left....Now I just wait for the next time something goes wrong and I am on the receiving end of the twisted blame me blame you game.

So sorry how hurt you are.....Conversation and mutal adult consideration never enters their mind when acting so childish.

Love you our dear friend.

PS after the tornado came through here in 2006 Dec 1, five years today, I have a box of LED flashlights, laterns with D size battery laterns, a portable tv, and A GENERATOR...which I do not know how to use, and dh is not technically incline. Ds has to manage its use.