I know I am vulenble at the moment when it comes to men. It seems that I get these crushes on guys so easy. It makes me feel good and livens my spirit up but I don't want the need to feel validated by a man per say. My latest crush has cancer and while I still want to be his friend, I don't want to get hurt. I guess I'm just desperate to have anyone really to be a best friend to and one to me. I don't care if someone has cancer or anything else so don't take me wrong. I just don't want to take the chance of being hurt. I don't mind dreaming and fantazing but but am scared to death on any action because then the hurt would be likely to become worse. I just feel so all alone at times that I can barely stand it and it's the loneliness that spurs all these crushes on, especially on men who are the least bit kind to me. I guess I just needed to talk.

befuddled2

Oh sweetie,
of course you are vulnerable.
YOu have had to put up with crap for so long and I can see how someone paying attention to you feels really good.
Perhaps you can jsut keep it at a friendly level...attention is attention.
If he is dealing with cancer then he does need friends.
This is an opportunity to learn how to be a good friend and have someone care about you.
Because you are worth it.
knkow that he could be vulnerable too.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Thank you Bizi. Yes, I did think of my friend could be vulnerable too. I thought about going to his place tomorrow to visit and just asking him if he needs anything.

befuddled2

I can totally understand feeling vulnerable. It's okay to have a little crush on a guy, and it's okay not to act on it too. Just being friends is a good thing. I hope it turns out to be a good friendship, he definitely needs a friend and so do you. Like bizi said, you're worth it!

I think it is nice that you have a friend and a crush on him too.

I think it is a wonderful thing that you have someone, even just to talk to and be with.

Cancer can be treated, I don't know what type he has, but you being there with him, makes a world of difference I bet.

We all need and crave attention. I understand the part about being hurt again too. We always have our guard up, that's okay too.

Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.

Hugs, Nikko
p.s. I lost your email to send you the jokes. So email me.

Thank you Pamster and Nikko.

I hope to see my friend Thursday and ask him if he needs anything.

befuddled2

It's scary when someone we care about might die. It's hard not to distance ones' self because of the fear of loss.

I think you have a wonderful grasp on the situation. You are very astute.

Besides, crushes are harmless. It's nice to feel the butterflies in your tummy and all melty when you see the person. Take it easy and work on being his friend. (and enjoy the butterflies!)

Thanks Mrs. Bear.

I have to look up astute as I don't know what that means. I will enjoy the butterflies and work on being his friend.

befuddled2

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/astute

"1. of keen penetration or discernment; sagacious: an astute analysis.
2. clever; cunning; ingenious; shrewd: an astute merchandising program; an astute manipulation of facts. "

Sorry

I meant that you are smart and know yourself very well.

Thanks Mrs. Bear,

Thank you for clarifying your intent.

befuddled2