Hi,
I understand not wanting to go to bed for apprehension about what you will meet in your sleep. Sleep should be a relief and a way to regenerate for the next day. Too often, it doesn't bring those blessings.

I was diagnosed in 1988. Since then I have lowered my meds.
Right now I am on Verapamil (mood stabilizer) and Klonopin. They are mostly doing their job.
I wish I had more energy but before I was diagnosed I had a lot of mixed episodes. I am grateful to be out of that.

Dianne is right in that after diagnosis we go through a long phase of re-examining our life and mourning our old life. Therapists can help with this. So can writing/keeping a journal.
I had to mourn the plans I had for my life, the plans for the life that could have been.

What meds have you tried? Maybe people here have some good ideas that you can take to your pdoc.

Are you on meds now that are causing depression?

Can you go somewhere for a 20 minute walk? A walk can do amazing things to help the brain. Can you go out in the sunshine (depending on your weather)? Sunshine can be healing in many ways.

Keep writing.
You will find the real you. Keep faith.
M.

Well I will share what my current pdoc has me on and see where it falls with the rest of you.

Depakote ER 1000mg @ Bedtime
Seroquel 300mg @ Bedtime
Seroquel 100mg X three per day
Lexapro 20mg @ 9am
Wellbutran 150mg @ 9am
Xanax 2mg X 2 per day
Ambien 10mg @ Bedtime
Ritalin 20mg X 2 per day

I'm a zombie, still no sleep, I can't function on this. I can't read a book the lack of concentration, it's a wonder I can sit and type. To be honest I don't know if this is the norm or the obscure. But I've been on most (MAOI's) (SSRI) and Triclads to no avail. maybe it's time for ETC.

So there it is blow it apart..

me

Hi and welcome. I know what you mean by the amount of meds you need just to function. I was on a bunch of meds before my dx in October now another was added.
I try and think that at least it was finally caught, about 20 years too late but at least it was caught. It is frustrating.
There are also days that I stare out the window and stare at nothing. Then there are days where I am fine.
Keep your head up and glad you found us!

Hi Sadlyme. Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time with the meds. I wish it wasn't so hard to find the right mix. sigh

I am BP and my son is BP with psychosis. He has been on just about everything as well and he is finally getting some relief on his current meds, but he is still REALLY fragile. If his health or his sleep habits change, he is manic and halucinating. Maybe I can give you some of our experience to think over?

Ritalin was a very poor drug for my son. It caused his first psychotic episode at 11 years old. Wellbutrin also caused him to go into a dissassociative state for a month or so. He was doing and speaking but had no idea what he was doing or where he was.

Seroquel worked for him for a very long time. But he finally burnt it out and is now on Abilify. He is still taking Depakote, which works well, but he has to take a second mood stabilizer (Lamictal) because he was breaking through the highest dose of the Depakote.

He hasn't tried the other drugs you listed, but I tried Lexapro without a mood stablizer, and I had a rotten experience. Got manic-y.

Nobody is the same. Our bodies all react differently. So just think on some of the things I've said and please don't adjust your meds without your pdoc. I would feel so guilty.

I would just love to help you from my and my son's experiences. That's all.



Sunshine could help with the depression. We all seem to need a little more of it than other folks.

Welcome sadly me.......I know it is tough to find out after many yrs that all of a sudden they say your BP. I too was shocked. Yet, once my meds kicked in, and they found the correct dosage, I started to feel better.

Then I looked back, and said to myself, that was me, I didn't like what I saw.
It is too bad that many have to wait (me in my 40's) to find the correct diagnosis.

I felt labeled. Now I have grown to accept it, and I know I handle things much differently. I hope you too will find that.

This is a great group of people here, understanding, accepting, caring, loving, and you will find a lot of information you need. So keep posting.

Hang in there, things will get better.

Hugs, Nikko

Would love to talk to you about this..



Mark

just wanted to add that ambien can have bad side effects, I knew someone that became suicidal jsut by taking this med...she takes lunsta now with out the freaky thoughts. Have you ever tried lunesta? It woeked for about a year and then quit so now I amtaking klonipin to sleep and this seems to be working for me.
I take lamictal, geodon and klonipin, ssri don't do well with me...went manic on prozac a few years back. welbutrin is the only real safe one for me.
I am going to bump up some threads for you.
hugs mark
bizi

Me,
I had a real problem with Lexapro making me insomniac. I had to lower the dose. It was days and I never slept.

I do wonder, are you seeing a specialist for the meds psych wise or is the pain doctor putting you on the all the medications.
I have to admit, my daughter was a a few, but not that many and not that high of a dose.

She was a chronic pain patient also. But, only one doc was making it seem her pain was from the emotional problems making it worse.
He pain was making her emotional problems worse is what it was.

How can one function in pain, then they try to medicate on the psych meds to help nerve pain and end up not giving the inflamatiries,, muscle spasms, or pain medications.
OR, is a PM pain doc of psych doc????

I think as difficult as it is you need to one, find a new pain doctor, and second see a specialist that perscribes for bi-polar,

One concern I have is when the meds made me so insomniac, could this be some of your problem.

I saw a specialist, chronic pain psychiritrist many years ago to rebuild my life. It took me about two years to get to the point I actually went back to school, retrained by getting my BA in criminal justice and sociology. I was a police cief, I loved my career, worked so very hard to attain the job....13 years of applying before I was even hired as a first female officer in the area.

I sure never wanted to be injured and out of work.
Then the anxiety/panic, the post trumatic stress, I was a mess. It is not a picinic, it is a merry go round...but isn't life?

So I would find someone too that you can sort out your thoughts, help focus on a plan, even a minimal plan...and to review the meds, consider if any are causing an escalation in your symptoms.

My daughter had psychotic episodes from Effexor, she had several voices telling her to contridictory things. She also had visual where things were happening not real in front of her. Like a plane Superman saved during 911had to be found by me to help right history..Also, paxil, proza SSRI had kept her from peeing, it wouldn;t allow the brain to trigger the release to pee....

So all the meds do not work for everyone. Some work against you instead of helping, others work wonders.
I did biofeedback, lots of talking, and figuring out where do I go from where I was.
I would not be the person I am today without the help of the psychiritrist I saw...he was a friend, truely inderstood those in chronic pain,
I was very lucky.
I hope today you can find some peaceful rest...
Dianne

you are taking uppers and downers at the same time, seroquel during the day is very sedating as is the xanax, 2mg is a big dose too.any way to reduce the seroquel during the day and skip the xanax during the day so you are taking sedating things only at night, and maybe stop the ambien altogether. klonipin acts longer than xanax...these are only suggestions to talk over with your pdoc. Have you ever taken risperdal? lexapro can cause insomnia in some folks.
try to create some normalcy around bed time, like same time each night, so stimulating activities before bed, light reading, fan for white noise.
I wish you a good nights sleep.
there are chat rooms too, many folks frequent them on a regular basisthe link is on the top bar onthe right.
I wish you wellness.
bizi